In a Constellation not long ago that I facilitated, the representative for
the client's brother suddenly felt a rising up and said either, "I'm sorry"
or "forgive me". I did my facilitator thing and interrupted him. While I
don't recall the specifics of what happened next, and the constellation was
rich and powerful and healing, what stayed with me were questions about why
I interrupted him.
When I processed with the client afterwards and we spoke about that
moment, she said that she felt a great surge of emotion, for this was
the he first time she had heard anything that suggested a recognition
of the pain he caused her. I felt that I had interrupted a process that I
should have allowed out of a concept about forgiveness as opposed to out
of something that arose from within the field.
I certainly resonate with these posts and the need to be truly present for
seeing, feeling and honoring the pain that is present. But isn't there also
a space for deep sorrow, regret?
As I write, I notice my own answer emerges. Seeing the constant rise and
fall different aspects, no end point. "I am sorry", "forgive me", just
another arising in the healing movement. If we as facilitators can hold
each arising moment while still being open to what's next, as opposed to
constricting as I did in that moment, perhaps that is what allows something
truly new to emerge, even for me as a facilitator.
Thomas Hubl
Grateful for this forum to help process it.
With a Sunny Heart,
Alison
On Sunday, January 4, 2015, 'Giselle Charbonnier'
gisellecharbonnier@xxxxxxxxx [ConstellationTalk] <
ConstellationTalk@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx> wrote:
Dear all,
Thank you very much for this thread,
I have also just came out of the retreat with Thomas Huebl, where much was
processed between Jewish and Germans and Israelis and Palestines. As
Harrison pointed, little was talked about forgiveness. What to me seemed to
be the most clear point was, again, the need to establish a “real”
connection between victim and perpetrator; which means that the perpetrator
should be open to witness the pain of the victim.
For many of us it is becoming a burning realization that the pain and loss
of our land ancestors needs to be recognized; seen, felt, honored.
My question is: What can we do when we live in such a field yet not having
any direct genetic connection with the perpetrators.
I appreciate any comments also on this respect.
Warm regards,
Giselle
www.integracionpersonal.com
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