We don’t ask who knows each other at the beginning, but we do ask for everyone
to agree to maintain strict confidentiality of all that they hear and
experience in a group. We add the caveat that it’s okay to share about their
own experience, either setting up their constellation or as a representative,
but it’s not permitted to share about anyone else’s experience or identifying
information. And we make eye contact with each person as we ask them to agree.
When representatives are being chosen, if someone setting up their
constellation asks someone they know to be a representative, we may ask the
person if they feel confident they can be a clear and neutral representative,
or if their prior relationship may inhibit them from being a vessel for the
spirit/presence of a family member. We use our intuition when asking about
this, and if we’re unsure we will err on the side of asking.
In our registration forms we state that the work may evoke strong feelings or
reactions, and that each person is responsible for their own self care.
When people attend together, we usually elicit from them in casual conversation
before we begin what their relationship is- friend, relative, etc. You may not
have been able to find out they had a pre-existing connection ahead of time in
casual conversation.
I’m curious about your level of concern. You don’t say the woman who was the
issue holder was upset in any way, just that her email mentioned that she knew
the man. She also felt safe sharing very personal details of her family in his
presence. She has a responsibility to herself to help maintain her own safety
with boundaries. You can only do so much to create the conditions, and some of
it is up to her as well. So maybe there’s less of an issue of concern here
than you portray, or maybe you aren’t sharing all the details? I would need to
know more to fully understand why you are ‘really alarmed.’
peace,
Chuck Cogliandro
Constellation Journeys
Decatur, GA U.S.