Wonderful discussion has ensued, feeling potentially to be a big
breakthrough (new) beginning.
To me transference - counter transference doesn't seem to be the sole issue.
Some time ago there was talk about the shrink – non-shrink divide; these
two pairs seem to be going hand in hand.
Bert had stated clearly that he is not in favour of using the
therapist-client relationship as appropriate term with systemic work
because of the implicit inequality contained in it and I dare say the
resulting transference problematic.
For me as a 'non-shrink' it is easy and feels entirely adequate for the
time being to describe the relationship as a constellator-seeker one.
The potential for transference is virtually eliminated. Constellator and
seeker are both reaching for the stars (the German 'Aufsteller' as well
as Constellator come from the Latin stella = star) the difference
between these two being only, the constellator has reached a little
while longer.
Reaching for the stars is the deeply symbolic expression for our
inherent yearning to go beyond the day-to-day physical world, our
sensing there is more to life.
For aeons the individual has been an (personally) insignificant part of
her system, sole purpose of existence being the survival of the species.
Only a little while ago did a counterbalancing movement start to take
hold of -mainly Western culture- pushing the individual onto a pedestal,
celebrating the individual as the centre of the universe resulting in
the individual's increasing sense of loneliness, of being separate; in
turn resulting in the establishment of a huge industry, the
pharma-therapeutic-complex.
Virtually every known therapeutic method is entirely client centered;
taking the client's system only peripherally into consideration.
Enter Bert Hellinger.
He is the initiator of a counter-counter balancing movement.
The opener of a door that provides the vista of a space where individual
and her system can find harmony with one another. The prime mover of
breaching a path for humanity that, not unlike the Buddhist Golden
Middle Way, contains the chance for the individual to find his 'rightful
place' on a mass scale.
We all have experienced the sense of relaxation that arises from having
found our rightful place in the orders of love.
Having fully taken up our place there is no further need nor possibility
for transference.
Apart from not calling ourselves therapists and the ones who come to us
clients, what can we do, to further prevent transference from creeping
into our relationship with the seeker?
My practice is to spatially and time-wisely separate the constellation
from the preceding interview -I did mention this earlier.
Talking over the phone, with an emphasis on placing the seeker's system
centre stage, is the optimal way of establishing a relationship with the
seeker without risking the slide into transference.
The likelihood of surprises either way on the day is greatly reduced if
not eliminated.
Having established this basis we can proceed with the work in it's true
spirit: Transpersonal. Going beyond the personal self.
Sacred Shaman was suggested to call Bert. Sounds terrifically adequate,
yet time is probably not quite ripe for that.
To call the work transpersonal feels right and proper to me, it
definitely leaves no room for transference.
Bert is simply Anton Suitbert Hellinger, ASH if you like, no need for
any tranferential relationship with him.
Max
Souldance®
Cedar Pocket, Qld. Australia
Happy Half-Century Dear Chris!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
