I just want to say: THANK YOU
Caterina
----- Original Message -----
From: Max Dauskardt
To: ConstellationTalk@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Sent: Saturday, September 03, 2005 8:25 AM
Subject: [ConstellationTalk] Transference – Transpersonal
Wonderful discussion has ensued, feeling potentially to be a big breakthrough
(new) beginning.
To me transference - counter transference doesn't seem to be the sole issue.
Some time ago there was talk about the shrink – non-shrink divide; these two
pairs seem to be going hand in hand.
Bert had stated clearly that he is not in favour of using the
therapist-client relationship as appropriate term with systemic work because of
the implicit inequality contained in it and I dare say the resulting
transference problematic.
For me as a 'non-shrink' it is easy and feels entirely adequate for the time
being to describe the relationship as a constellator-seeker one.
The potential for transference is virtually eliminated. Constellator and
seeker are both reaching for the stars (the German 'Aufsteller' as well as
Constellator come from the Latin stella = star) the difference between these
two being only, the constellator has reached a little while longer.
Reaching for the stars is the deeply symbolic expression for our inherent
yearning to go beyond the day-to-day physical world, our sensing there is more
to life.
For aeons the individual has been an (personally) insignificant part of her
system, sole purpose of existence being the survival of the species.
Only a little while ago did a counterbalancing movement start to take hold of
-mainly Western culture- pushing the individual onto a pedestal, celebrating
the individual as the centre of the universe resulting in the individual's
increasing sense of loneliness, of being separate; in turn resulting in the
establishment of a huge industry, the pharma-therapeutic-complex.
Virtually every known therapeutic method is entirely client centered; taking
the client's system only peripherally into consideration.
Enter Bert Hellinger.
He is the initiator of a counter-counter balancing movement.
The opener of a door that provides the vista of a space where individual and
her system can find harmony with one another. The prime mover of breaching a
path for humanity that, not unlike the Buddhist Golden Middle Way, contains the
chance for the individual to find his 'rightful place' on a mass scale.
We all have experienced the sense of relaxation that arises from having found
our rightful place in the orders of love.
Having fully taken up our place there is no further need nor possibility for
transference.
Apart from not calling ourselves therapists and the ones who come to us
clients, what can we do, to further prevent transference from creeping into our
relationship with the seeker?
My practice is to spatially and time-wisely separate the constellation from
the preceding interview -I did mention this earlier.
Talking over the phone, with an emphasis on placing the seeker's system
centre stage, is the optimal way of establishing a relationship with the seeker
without risking the slide into transference.
The likelihood of surprises either way on the day is greatly reduced if not
eliminated.
Having established this basis we can proceed with the work in it's true
spirit: Transpersonal. Going beyond the personal self.
Sacred Shaman was suggested to call Bert. Sounds terrifically adequate, yet
time is probably not quite ripe for that.
To call the work transpersonal feels right and proper to me, it definitely
leaves no room for transference.
Bert is simply Anton Suitbert Hellinger, ASH if you like, no need for any
tranferential relationship with him.
Max
Souldance®
Cedar Pocket, Qld. Australia
Happy Half-Century Dear Chris!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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