Hi everyone, I have been asked to write an article for Natural Life News which
is circulated throughout Montana. I'd like to hear your feedback to improve it.
Diane Yankelevitz
www.WisdomHealing.com
Systemic Constellations for Family and Business
Our families give us life and define our lives. Most families are dysfunctional
to some extent owing to traumatic events in their own lives or the lives of
their ancestors (including parents). These traumas include wars, injustices,
crimes, abandonment, adoption, premature death, missing persons, death during
military service, famine, emigration to another country, lost fortune, severe
or chronic illness, physical or mental disability, suicide, abortion,
miscarriage, and stillbirth, And all of our families have been affected by at
least one of these.
In my own family, all four of my grandparents were born in Eastern Europe and
came to this country as children in the late 1800's. Two of my
great-grandfathers were killed in ethnic conflict. My father's mother was 4
years old when her father was killed and she and her mother emigrated to the
US. Her mother's heart was broken and she must have withdrawn because my
grandmother was very closed. She never hugged her grandchildren, so I can only
imagine what my father's upbringing was like. I do know that he, too, closed
his heart when his mother almost died, once from a severe car accident, and
later from lockjaw. When asked about his childhood, those are the only two
stories he would ever tell. I also know that the family was very poor and moved
so frequently in search of work, that my father attended at least 14 different
schools and never made friends. He did the best he could, but the result was
that I was trained to stuff my emotions and was very angry. I have since
learned better, but it took a lot of trauma and help. Just understanding what
my grandmother went through showed me a different way to appreciate my father.
In fact, it wasn't until after a Constellation that I was told that two of my
grandfathers had been killed, and my grandmother had a sister who died of
tuberculosis at age 24.
During a Constellation you get to see the origin of your experience in a
different light and are able to accept what is, and find peace. After this
shift, you become more able to change your life and your relationships with
family, partners, children, and co-workers.
Principles that are required to allow healthy relationships to flourish are:
(1) Everybody in the system belongs equally (including children who died at
birth, or an uncle who became insane); (2) Each person has his rightful place
in the system (including a parent's first love, or a deceased or divorced first
spouse); (3) Whoever enters the system first has precedence over those who come
later; (4) Those who come later take from those who came earlier, whatever the
price; (5) The order of precedence between systems needs to be followed (a new
family system takes precedence over the families of origin; a second marriage
assumes precedence over the first); (6) Parents give, children take; (7) In a
relationship between parents, the giving and taking needs to be balanced.
Business Constellations are similar to Family Constellations in that they are
guided by similar principles: (1) Everybody in the system belongs equally; (2)
Each person has his rightful place in the system; (3) Those who came later
respect those who have seniority; (4) Managers give, employees receive; (5) In
a relationship between managers, the giving and taking needs to be balanced;
(6) Guilt and merit belong with whoever earned them.
But a business is not a family. The emphasis instead is on performance,
role-playing, and competition. There is a hierarchy, which has to be
acknowledged, and there are two of them -- one based on seniority and one based
on position -- that sometimes conflict with one another. People who have worked
for major corporations know that the organizational chart and the reality of
the way things work are often not exactly the same, because of personal
relationships.
Everyone in the business has a job to do to further the goals of the company,
from the CEO to the janitor. If someone is not doing his part, or is not
treating others respectfully, this will affect all the other members of the
company in both visible and subtle ways.
When people get fired or laid off, when there are company mergers or major
conflicts, the company system becomes unbalanced. When people who have founded
or contributed to the company in other major ways are not honored, the business
system becomes unbalanced. If customers are not buying, if product development
is stuck, if the way forward is not obvious, a constellation can help point out
the problems, and solutions.
In a business constellation, the hidden dynamics are brought to light so the
person doing the constellation -- usually a business owner or CEO -- can then
have the information needed to improve the function of their business
organization. It can work for one-person, or multi-division organizations.
The Systemic Constellation approach originated in Europe in the 1990s and is
rapidly gaining recognition and acceptance in the U.S. In a Constellation
circle, one person presents an urgent personal issue, and, guided by a
facilitator, representatives are chosen for the people involved from the group,
and through their perceptions a resolution is found. Constellation circles take
place in an atmosphere that is safe, confidential, and supportive. Everything
that comes to light is held in the strictest confidence.
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