We do not control anyone else's life. To do so is a great imposition on their
integrity as a human being. I wonder, Maria, if you had in fact, stepped in as
the doctor, held the patient as your responsibility and then that still there
was the choice of suicide, that you may be asking that your choice was in
error? We want to have control. We always want life to go on whether that
choice is ours or not. Encounters with death always make us ask whether we had
a part in it or not. Sometimes death only grazes us and we feel relief as
though we controlled it.
The idea of being an underminer of the facilitator rings true with me. The
flow must be one that flows through the facilitator not through another
participant or protector figure. This is a complex construct that we do need to
examine. Also, the ability of the facilitator to allow the flow of the healing
energy that is love/God/source/ whatever you choose to call it. We as
facilitators must be very cued to our own ability to allow the source to flow
and move, that it is not us who moves these things.
Allowing someone else to take the role of the facilitator can be very
dangerous. We cannot know the others intention or agreement with the lack of
intention necessary to allow flow. We have life and death in constellation
work that is in a place we rarely see it so clearly. This can and is a very
vulnerable place to work. We can never be glib or lose the quality of deep
gentleness and kindness.
Spiritual growth and spiritual depth seem to me to be necessary qualities of
facilitators that we often do not emphasize enough. We have deep
responsibilities when we facilitate. We must always be aware of these. This is
a very important discussion.
That death has shown itself is not surprising. That we see it so little often
surprises me.
Love to you all, Anni
