Hi Annie,
It sounds like you are sharing something positive - a sense of being
connected and familiar with others in a warm and friendly way.
I am just going to explore this in response, am not quite sure where
I'm going with this.
We choose and are chosen as representatives because there is some
sort of resonance for that particular representation. As we represent
that resonance is tapped and becomes more explored, exposed and
alive. As words are given to the experience in that space, an act of
creation is occuring. While it is another person that we represent,
it is also a part of ourselves that receives the gift of resolution
(hopefully) or impetus to grow from the experience.
You talk about an experience of feeling bonded to certain people -
the opposite would be that we represent, stay completely clear and
don't bond with others in the group. Which is more positive? To
experience a sense of being more connected or to remain as
unconnected individuals.
Or is it that you sometimes find it is not so positive? For example
you represent someone's mother in a constellation and ever since you
are aware that you can't develop an equal relationship with them,
because you always feel like their mother, and they never grow up. Is
it that transference remains or is it that a particular way of
relating has been exposed and we have an opportunity to work more, if
we can take it. But it might be more comfortable for us to keep
acting towards others as if they are a child and we are a mother,
because to do otherwise challenges our sense of who we are and who
the other person is. It may be easier for us to relate to people if
we can keep them pigeon holed as 'one of my family members'.
What is it for you in the whole experience that niggles at you, so
that you share it with us, ask to hear how others find it, and
suggest that it is something to be mindful about?
Gail.
-- In ConstellationTalk@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx, Kenn Day <enki@...> wrote:
my
Dear Annie,
In my training with Heinz Stark, this question came up as well. To
recollection, his response was to have the person holding thegive
apparent transference to face the person who the issue was related
to; to speak aloud some healing sentences (I see now that this
belongs to you; I carried it gladly, now I return it to you. I
it back where it belongs. And in doing so, I honor you as aseparate
being, with your own strength. . . ) Then bow deeply to the personthis
and allow anything that is being carried to return to them. When
is done, take a moment to remember who YOU are, separate from theboth
projections, and move forward in a good direction.
I hope that this is helpful. All the best.
namaste,
Kenn Day
www.soulsolutionshome.com
On May 27, 2007, at 4:44 PM, annieblockpearl wrote:
Dear colleagues,
As a constellator in New York City I have observed a phenomenon
anywithin myself and some participants in my groups. I'd appreciate
mycomments you may have concerning lingering transference issues.
My initial training as a facilitator was completed five years ago.
Despite initial clearing exercises and the passage of time,I still
retain strong feelings for those group members who represented in
lifepersonal constellations. These feelings persist despite my real-
myknowledge and continued exposure to these people.Participants in
group have experienced the same phenomenon resulting from powerful
personal work, despite the clearing exercises and cautions that I
offer in our workshops.
I haven't experienced these transferences as a problem, but it
certainly is something of which to be mindful.
Any thoughts, ideas, suggestions?
Annie Block Pearl, M.S.
Integrative Therapy
Systemic, Structural and Family Constellations
ordained Interfaith Minister
www.annieblockpearl.com
Yahoo! Groups Links
