Hello Annie, Hello Gail.
Thank you for sharing your feelings and thoughts.
I think that what happens when we represent is a little bit of
everything.
Yes, we are forced to move out of our role and "feel" somebody else
taking over. And we are not sure where this is going to take us. On the
other end, when it happens for us to represent, there is always a
reason that connects us. And there is where the discomfort comes from.
And the irresistible desire to keep on staying in that role, to
re-member it.
Diving in the discomfort and in the attraction of the representation is
a great gift of growth. We are all connected by a great big warm hug
...I would like to beg you dear Sir, as well as I can, to have patience
with everything unresolved in your heart and to try to love the
questions themselves as if they were locked rooms or books written in a
very foreign language. Don't search for the answers, which could not be
given to you now, because you would not be able to live them. And the
point is to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps then,
someday far in the future, you will gradually, without even noticing
it, live your way into the answer.
Rainer Maria Rilke, 1903
in Letters to a Young Poet
All the best
chiara
Dr. Chiara H. Megighian-Zenati
104 Hawthorne Rd
Pittsburgh, PA 15238
-----Original Message-----
From: Gail <gail_m_allen@xxxxxxxxxxx>
To: ConstellationTalk@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Sent: Sun, 27 May 2007 8:50 pm
Subject: [ConstellationTalk] Re: lingering transference issues
Hi Annie,
It sounds like you are sharing something positive - a sense of being
connected and familiar with others in a warm and friendly way.
I am just going to explore this in response, am not quite sure where
I'm going with this.
We choose and are chosen as representatives because there is some
sort of resonance for that particular representation. As we represent
that resonance is tapped and becomes more explored, exposed and
alive. As words are given to the experience in that space, an act of
creation is occuring. While it is another person that we represent,
it is also a part of ourselves that receives the gift of resolution
(hopefully) or impetus to grow from the experience.
You talk about an experience of feeling bonded to certain people -
the opposite would be that we represent, stay completely clear and
don't bond with others in the group. Which is more positive? To
experience a sense of being more connected or to remain as
unconnected individuals.
Or is it that you sometimes find it is not so positive? For example
you represent someone's mother in a constellation and ever since you
are aware that you can't develop an equal relationship with them,
because you always feel like their mother, and they never grow up. Is
it that transference remains or is it that a particular way of
relating has been exposed and we have an opportunity to work more, if
we can take it. But it might be more comfortable for us to keep
acting towards others as if they are a child and we are a mother,
because to do otherwise challenges our sense of who we are and who
the other person is. It may be easier for us to relate to people if
we can keep them pigeon holed as 'one of my family members'.
What is it for you in the whole experience that niggles at you, so
that you share it with us, ask to hear how others find it, and
suggest that it is something to be mindful about?
Gail.
-- In ConstellationTalk@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx, Kenn Day <enki@...> wrote:
Dear Annie,
In my training with Heinz Stark, this question came up as well. To
recollection, his response was to have the person holding the
apparent transference to face the person who the issue was related
to; to speak aloud some healing sentences (I see now that this
belongs to you; I carried it gladly, now I return it to you. I
it back where it belongs. And in doing so, I honor you as a
being, with your own strength. . . ) Then bow deeply to the person
and allow anything that is being carried to return to them. When
is done, take a moment to remember who YOU are, separate from the
projections, and move forward in a good direction.
I hope that this is helpful. All the best.
namaste,
Kenn Day
www.soulsolutionshome.com
On May 27, 2007, at 4:44 PM, annieblockpearl wrote:
> Dear colleagues,
>
> As a constellator in New York City I have observed a phenomenon
> within myself and some participants in my groups. I'd appreciate
> comments you may have concerning lingering transference issues.
>
> My initial training as a facilitator was completed five years ago.
> Despite initial clearing exercises and the passage of time,I still
> retain strong feelings for those group members who represented in
> personal constellations. These feelings persist despite my real-
> knowledge and continued exposure to these people.Participants in
> group have experienced the same phenomenon resulting from powerful
> personal work, despite the clearing exercises and cautions that I
> offer in our workshops.
>
> I haven't experienced these transferences as a problem, but it
> certainly is something of which to be mindful.
>
> Any thoughts, ideas, suggestions?
>
>
> Annie Block Pearl, M.S.
> Integrative Therapy
> Systemic, Structural and Family Constellations
> ordained Interfaith Minister
> www.annieblockpearl.com
>
>
>
>
> Yahoo! Groups Links
>
>
>
>
