[ddots-l] Re: The cellist is the strangest of humans called musicians.
- From: "Tim Burgess" <tim@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>
- To: <ddots-l@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>
- Date: Sat, 18 Dec 2010 21:24:07 -0000
Sir Henry Beecham, a very famous conductor of yester-year is credited with
the following quote to a cellist who was under-performing during rehearsal:
"Madam, you hold between your legs the means to provide exquisite pleasure
to man. I'd be most grateful if you'd stop scratching it during my
rehearsal"
Sir Henry also had a comment for a soprano who wasn't doing so well when
compared to the chorus:
"Madam, I think they're gaining on you".
Best wishes.
Tim Burgess
Raised Bar Ltd
Phone: +44 (0)1827 719822
Don't forget to vote for improved access to music and music technology at
<http://www.raisedbar.net/petition.htm>
http://www.raisedbar.net/petition.htm
From: ddots-l-bounce@xxxxxxxxxxxxx [mailto:ddots-l-bounce@xxxxxxxxxxxxx] On
Behalf Of Steve Wicketts
Sent: 18 December 2010 16:47
To: ddtots
Subject: [ddots-l] The cellist is the strangest of humans called musicians.
If you're a gal and play cello, it greatly reduces the amount of time you
can accumulate in really short skirts.
A man went into a novelty shop and saw an item that caught his fancy almost
immediately. It was a stuffed rat. The man couldn't take his eyes off it,
and
finally asked how much it cost. The answer was "$79.95, but if you buy it,
you can't return it for any reason." The man thought this was a bit odd, but
he was really taken by the stuffed rat so he bought it.
As he headed down the street with the stuffed rat, several live rats started
following him. He thought this was really odd, but he kept walking. Within
a few blocks, he had a huge pack of rats behind him. When he got to the
river, he threw the stuffed rat into the river, and all the live rats jumped
into
the river and drowned.
The man returned to the shop. As soon as he walked in, the owner said "I
told you you couldn't return the stuffed rat!"
The man said "No! I don't want to return it! I was wondering if you had any
stuffed cellists."
A cello player decides that he's had enough of being a cello player --
unappreciated, all those silly jokes. So he decides to change instruments.
He goes into a shop, and says, "I want to buy a violin."
The man behind the counter looks at him for a moment, and then says, "You
must be a cello player."
The cello player is astonished, and says, "Well, yes, I am. But how did you
know?"
"Well, sir, this is a fish and chip shop."
Steve W
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