[TN-Bird] Re: Lovin' a Species to Death
- From: Florida Nature Tours <fnt@xxxxxxx>
- To: wtthornton@xxxxxxxxxxx, tn-bird@xxxxxxxxxxxxx
- Date: Tue, 24 Dec 2002 11:59:17 -0500
Dear All,
In the last few days I had a Xmas Count to coordinate & a Mountain
Bluebird to chase so I'm just getting a chance to respond to Mr.
Thornton's rather clever little story. We all know what he's trying to
do here, but when one holds the moral low ground on a subject all the
clever fabricating (no matter how entertaining), can ever put you in
the right. I'll respond within the body of his cute little screed.
"William T. Thornton" wrote:
>
> ONCE UPON A TIME, when birds were in charge of everything, the gene pool of a
> strange species of human beings was on the decline. Other species of humans
> were managing well but there were several small populations of minor species
> of human beings in serious trouble.
Gee, I hope one of those species is the one that loves it's cats
outdoor fun more than the native wildlife.
>
> DURING THE TIME WHEN BIRDS WERE IN CHARGE OF EVERYTHING, there arose a group
> of birds who prided themselves as being humaners -- they, having far too much
> time on their hands with nothing to do,
You mean like people who have the time to sit around & write
this sort of pathetic drivel?
decided to start watching human beings. As humaners, they made lists
of the human species they had observed and some of these humaners
placed far too much emphasis on whose list was longest.
And who prey tell should decide what is "far to much emphasis"
YOU??? a person who doesn't have enough common sense to keep his cat
indoors?? Keep in mind that those of us who enjoy the fun &
camaraderie of chasing around after rare birds also do everything that
we can to help everyone else see those rare birds too.
Some even put great emphasis on having the longest list for a day --
while others just tried for a long list during a period of one year.
These kinds of things may seem to have little scientific value,
but listing in all it's different forms is important in that many of
our best scientists started out learning the birds & their behaviors
in just this way, & many of them still enjoy the fun of the chase into
their old age. Roger Peterson kept a life list & was involved with
many record setting big day counts.
But the life-list for most of these humaners was a source of great
pride and comfort to them. Whenever a new species of humans was
found, these birds would go many miles and show up in droves just to
add another name to their list. Yes, for many, this hobby of watching
human species had become an obsession.
>
And your point??
> THESE BIRD HUMANERS began to flock together, forming a network of humaners
> complete with rules and bylaws and message boards and instant methods of
> communicating news of the appearance of a less-than-common species of humans.
> Quasi-professional groups of Humanothological Societies were formed in most
> states -- they designated themselves to be the keeper of the official lists.
> Should a humaner, especially a beginning humaner, spot a human being that was
> not on the official list and post that sighting to the message board, those
> older and card-carrying members of the Humanothological Society would
> immediately post sneering and spiteful comments ridiculing that novice
> humaner's impossible sighting. But occasionally there would be an
> enterprising beginning humaner who would get pictures of his find. Then the
> older humaners would flock together to see the sight and upon seeing the new
> species would add it to their list and feel even more superior and arrogant
> for having done s
> o.
Did someone hurt you real bad early on in life by not accepting
one of your sightings??
>
> THE WORD WOULD GO OUT, far and wide -- and birds would fly from everywhere
> to see a new human being species. Sometimes the birds would arrive in such
> numbers that the bird-police would have to be called to prevent them
> over-running an otherwise pristine and quiet place in nature. The humaners
> would arrive with their lists and their cameras and their
> tape-recorders/players. If the human species was not obvious and out in
> plain view, the humaners would attempt to trick the species into showing
> itself. Yes, these humaners were a devious lot offering sounds and foods
> specific to the species they were hunting. Why some of the humaners would
> even hire a guide to lead them directly to the place -- and pay this guide
> huge sums of money to see a plain, but somewhat rare, human form. This is
> the tale of one rare group of human beings which was loved to death by these
> misguided and overzealous humaners.
Maybe you just weren't breast fed.
>
> ONE HUMANER GUIDE, offering trips to other humaners (in groups of ten at a
> time -- ten seems to fit nicely into a large van somehow) was from a
> frost-proof part of the country. Whenever he would hear of the sighting of a
> new species, he would send out advertisements of that fact and note that he
> would be willing, to sell for some shillings, a chance to see said new
> species. And off he would go with a lot of humaners, mostly old with blue
> feathers, to observe the latest human species found in a region.
>
Thanks for the idea!!!
> WHEN OUR STRANGE AND RARE AND GENETICALLY THREATENED SPECIES OF HUMAN BEINGS
> was first spotted by a novice humaner, the small group of humans was barely
> managing to maintain a small breeding population in the high mountains of
> Tennessee. The novice humaner, spotting these strange and new critters, told
> a local hunter in his region about them. It turned out that this hunter was
> one of the leading humaners in the state and he confirmed that the critters
> were for real. (A hunter and a humaner -- now that is a rare combination but
> this fabled one was revered far and wide. Besides, he said his prey tasted
> just like rattlesnake.) The word went out. Eventually, even the professional
> guide to human beings down in the frost-proof region of the country learned
> of this rare sighting. The guide got together a flock of humaners to come
> and watch. They arrived, one flock after another, completely destroying the
> peace and serenity of the human beings' habitat.
>
Please go on, this is really getting interesting!!
> THE GUIDE insisted, for scientific study purposes only said he, that he
> should set traps so he could band some of the human beings. One breeding
> male and three breeding females in the group were killed by this banding
> action and five juveniles and immatures died of starvation when their parents
> didn't return. Several others in the breeding population were so frightened
> that they left the group and started living along, electing to suffer genetic
> death, rather than face the horror of the humaner and his traps and bands of
> metal that he wanted to strap around a leg. Some of the members of the
> breeding population of human beings thought that the presence of a metal
> strap about their leg made them so unattractive that they stopped trying to
> reproduce.
>
You do have an imagination, I'll say that for you!!
> THIS SMALL BREEDING POPULATION of human beings diminished by almost ten per
> cent as a result of the trapping/banding attempts. Because the humaners who
> were paying the guide to see the species were demanding "show us the species
> or return our money", they became more resourceful in attracting the humans
> into view. A group of them told the guide, "It is time to start pishing" and
> the guide immediately relieved himself much to the dismay of the group.
> They, on the other hand, started in with the pishing process and succeeded in
> calling up twelve humans who otherwise would have been busy building shelter
> for their family or cooking a meal for their hungry children or weaving a
> warm coat for the baby so that he would be warm during the coming cold
> winter. After all the confusion of the pishing ended, the disruption to the
> small human group took away another fifteen per cent of their numbers due to
> poor nutrition and poor housing and improper winter weather gear.
>
I'm not surprised that you believe this crap but I sure hope
that others out there don't buy it.
> STILL, THE GUIDE WANTED TO SHOW OTHER GROUPS OF HUMANERS (of course they were
> willing to pay big bucks to add another species to their life list) this
> small population of human species in the wilds of Tennessee. All of the
> activity of the humaners had by now created such a tourist attraction that
> the once isolated region was humming with activity.
Was this bird guide's name Dolly??
The guide started using tape-recorded messages to call up the human
beings. Almost every time he would play his taped message, a fickle
human mate would think he or she was hearing the call of the most
seductive one ever and leave the nuclear family in the midst of
procreation -- and end up suffering genetic death because there was no
way to get viable gametes from the guide's tape player. When the
tapes were played during the humans' breeding season, the disruption
was so great that more than half of the remaining bonded couples split
apart as a result of the seductive calls being broadcast throughout
their range.
>
Fascinating!!!
> IT WAS DURING THIS TIME that one of the more resourceful human beings, a
> tough female from Mississippi, began to trick the humaners with ripe
> persimmons. She would deliberately place large ripe persimmons where the
> humaners could find them and they would then often stop their pishing and
> playing records to eat the delicious fruit. The guide, being from a
> frost-proof place, didn't know about persimmons and frost. This resourceful
> human female deliberately placed some green persimmons directly in the path
> of the guide who immediately fell upon them and ate them all. The human
> population was free from intrusions from the guide for a period of time
> during which he had the trots.
>
Now there's a pretty picture!! The writer's knowledge of the
trees & weather of the frost proof place is not surprisingly as
limited as his knowledge of ornithology. The common Persimmon is a
common species down here in this "frost-proof place" which is not
frost proof. We get frost every winter down into the central part of
the state, & I've seen it deep into the far south of the state on a
number of occasions as well.
> ALAS AND MOST UNFORTUNATELY, however, the guide finally recovered and resumed
> his tours of the region disrupting and eventually destroying the viability of
> the very group he professed to love and protect.
>
> FINALLY, the breeding population of this rare and exotic human species became
> so small that its gene pool stopped evolving. The population was loved to
> death by all the activity of the humaners.
>
> WITH APOLOGY TO ALL FABLE WRITERS AND LOVERS OF THE APOLOGUE FORM.
>
And indeed you should!!!!!! The question remains: how can
a person who is obviously not stupid get so much enjoyment out of
watching his outdoor cat "do his thing." I guess it all has to do with
being a self centered non caring individual. As a person who has been
involved in the sport & hobby of birding for almost 50 years, &
involved in the two biggest ornithological projects in state history,
& involved in Eco-tourism for the last 20 plus years, I can state with
absolute confidence that Mr. Thornton is for the most part wrong. Has
eco-tourism ever threatened any species or eco-system? The answer is
yes, particularly in the Galapagos Islands. Is eco-tourism one of the
most effective ways to get underdeveloped areas of the world to
conserve their natural resources & save species & eco-system?
Absolutely!!!!
Are there any bird banding projects that produce little
scientific data? I'm sure there are, though I don't personally know of
any. I do know that I've seen bird banding operations in many parts of
North America & elsewhere in the world, & have always been impressed
with the knowledge & competence of those involved. The banding of
Sooty & Brown Noddy Terns in the Dry Tortugas started back in the
1930s. I first got involved in the project in 1967 as a teenager. Back
in those days we banded hundreds of thousands of birds. In the years
that I banded back in the 1960s & 1970s I never saw a single bird die
because of our project. From the many band returns we now know much of
the fascinating life story of these two species. In the case of the
Dry Tortugas project, the mass banding has been phased out & the
banding of small numbers of birds on specific plots & the study of
their family units is ongoing & still finding out new and valuable
information. The more we know about a species the better equipped we
will be to save it.
Mr. Thornton's pathetic attempt to to denigrate eco-tourism in
this little diatribe (cute as it may be), & his attack on bird banding
in a subsequent post should be seen for what they are, an attempt to
deflect the scorn of ethical people onto those of us who have spent a
lifetime involved in the conservation, preservation & scientific study
of birds, & away from himself, a person who refuses to see the light &
do the right thing. You failed Mr. Thornton! So go light up a cancer
stick & watch your cat kill a Cardinal. Or, do you watch the kill
first & then bask in the afterglow??
Wes Biggs
Florida Nature Tours, Orlando 407/363-1360 fnt@xxxxxxx
http://www.floridanaturetours.com
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