Thanks! Dan,Libby,Max,Jan,and all the teachers in this conversation.
Really appreciate the adoption discussion.
In the United States a law had to be passed: The Indian Child Welfare
Act. The law was passed because Native American children were being
taken from their families and adopted out, largely because of
cultural misunderstanding. A native child might spend time with
grandparents, aunts and uncles as well as parents; western Social
Workers were identifying tribal traditions as parental neglect.
There were some communities, like Latter Day Saints who had a belief
system which gave them higher standing if they adopted Native
American Children; there were some unusual systemic pressures that
were funneling Native Children into adoption.
So, it was not unusual to encounter Native American adults who were
adopted as a result of these situations, particularly if they lived
in advance of the Indian Child Welfare Act which was only passed in
the 1970's. One Native woman, (matriarchal) who was blind and had
always independently cared for her sheep, home, and her children had
all of her children removed when her husband died. All were adopted
out.
Dan shared, regarding the man who is an adoptee:
"His mother was married with 5 children when she became pregnant
after a one-night stand with an interstate truck driver. She
concealed the pregnancy and gave him up for adoption at birth."
Unless this man's mother was completely absent from her 5 children
for the 9 months of her pregnancy, it would be reasonable that at
least some would be aware of the pregnancy (full term). Given the
possibility of difference in ages, some may have been very aware;
some children are fascinated with the process of pregnancy. We know
that at the level of the soul each of the children is aware of this
sibling, but I would suppose that the greater possibility is that
even at a more conscious level, some of the children are aware. Who
knows? Systemically, they may have a pressure to find him.
*There may be a way that he can flag his adoption records so that any
siblings inquiring about him would have access to contact information.
"About 10 years ago he obtained the name of his mother through the
adoption agency and telephoned her."
In most states adoption records are sealed and children only have
access to their adoption records if the parent has personally
indicated on the record that they give permission for information to
be released. Otherwise adoption records are generic: Mother: age,
ethnicity...sometimes religion, just the basics...sometimes a
paragraph or two is included with the birth record data. So, it is
likely that the mother authorized the contact and is the one who made
the conversation possible, however brief. That was a bonus gift.
Life, of course, was the first.
I often referred adoptees to an adoption support group if they had
questions regarding contact, etc. It would be good if he knows that
these are his questions and he will have the ability to find his
answers. I know for some people after attending an adoption support
group they decide not to pursue further information. If he is
certain he needs more, those groups are also aware of specific tools
which make the search less chaotic. They are aware of some very
sophisticated adoption data bases, multiple family members register,
siblings included.
With Native American adoptees there was another issue. They had the
right to their tribal identity, (they were also a part of
that "system") even if they were adopted. Adoptees had to pursue
birth records to become re-enrolled with their tribe if that
enrollment had been interrupted by a placement outside of their
tribe. The tribal system has as a priority the restoration of that
person to the Tribal system, feeling that the family system did not
sever the individuals rights to be part of the tribe.
I respect that Hellinger's work has a strong level of trust in the
wisdom of the soul.
Many Blessings,
Francesca
