The family constellation congress in Cologne with 1000 participants has
finished. In my experience it was a great congress. Great by the
atmosphere, great by seeing how the river is flowing with Bert and
beyond him and great by the insights which were made possible.
So I want just to share some of this with you. I, as a German
experienced to be confronted myself with the German past, the German
guilt and the horror, which has happened. Already 4 years ago in the
congress in Wurzburg I nearly could not stand it. There is a part in me,
which is overwhelmed by that. How not to become not crazy in looking to
all what happened? Something tears me apart when I come close.
A sentence I use sometimes in a constellation f. e. for a man who comes
home destroyed by the war. It was too much. This sentence does not
change anything in what has happened but, nevertheless, it is relaxing
by this acknowledgement. This It is too much seems me to be the
adequate sentence also for these happenings.
By saying this I become more modest in the (sarcastically!)
reconciliation-business. Reconciliation, sometimes, is beyond the
ordinary human capacity. How can the victim reconciliate with the
perpetrator? It is not something that can be done. If it happens, it is
a gift. So, I see a danger in constellation work (and a friend who is
leading a lot of international seminars was saying yes to this thought).
The danger is: We cannot leave things and people un-reconciliated.
Because we know how to do reconciliation. With that we feel big
instead of small in front of the fate. I repeat, if reconciliation
happens, it is a gift. Gifts are nothing natural which you can count
with. Gifts you are demanding may be not be given. Gifts need gratitude.
This I wanted to share with you and I am curious to read what other
brought home with them from Cologne.
Bertold
