Thank you for this subject...It can be most fragile, and Intense. This is a
subject that I have both experienced and became knowledgable within the justice
system as a sexual abuse therapist. Experientially, I believed myself to be a
victim of childhood abuses and lived as that identity for many years. It was
not until I got a close experiential look at my own dance of victim/perpetrator
that the integration/reconciliation of healing could be experienced. I would
suspect, I am not fully a clean vessell.......yet!
In my work as a sexual abuse therapist, I learned/experienced first hand how
victim/perpetrator energy could intertwine within the client. I witnessed
client after client engage in self-injurious behaviors whether it be self
cutting, burning, substances,or promiscuity, I observed that clients turned
inwardly into perpetrators of themselves or externally going after their
"perpetrators with such intensity of vengenece" that it seemed little "healing"
could take place.
I hear with the heart these recent communications and I surely honor us for
taking a deep look into this and how we move in our worlds with these
viewpoints.....
Warm Regards,
Rita Ann Martino
awakeningfamilyconstellations.com
----- Original Message ----
From: Anita Roy <anitaroy@xxxxxxxxx>
To: ConstellationTalk@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Sent: Monday, March 3, 2008 1:13:23 PM
Subject: Re: [ConstellationTalk] Crime and punishment
Anngwyn
This is a very sensitive issue for a lot of people who have been victims.
Outside of FC, it often is dangerous to suggest that the victim is in some
way related to the event or to the perpetrator. It is taken that the victim
is being blamed and that of course is a slippery slope that should be
avoided.
During a recent production of the Vagina Monologues in which I participated
as an actor, the issue of brutal rape, both in a war context as well as a
one-to-one victim-rapist context came up. Some people brought up issues such
as the Law of Attraction (much too simplistically presented) or laws of
karma, or energetic interrelationship (none of these people knew of systemic
work)... but you get the idea... suggesting carefully that there was more to
the story... the reaction from some was highly emotional and angry, and the
people who spoke thusly were labeled as "adherents of victim blaming
philosophies" and labeled "bleepers" (idolizing fans of What the Bleep). It
effectively shut down any discussion beyond the idea that victims were good
and perpetrators were bad.
I found myself in a difficult position, as I recognize the predator in
myself, in general in life. As well, I recognize the victim in myself,
having been raped at 16. It wasn't my fault. Yet now, at 52, I find that I
am compelled to find a meaning in my life that is deeper, richer and more
comprehensive than the simple good guy/bad guy scenario. I also recognize
that we as a society have to stop violence against women, against everyone
*and* everything. To that end, I believe in social action, verbal clarity
against violence, and I find it dangerous to court belief systems that in
some way, however unintentional, seem to condone or explain away the
violence in a gratuitous manner.
The dangerous side of the karma belief system, as I have experienced in my
Hindu Indian family, is a resignation to fate and powerlessness to choose
one's path in life. I would not like to see fascinating new age belief
systems fall back into fatalism.
Anita
On 03/03/2008, Anngwyn <anngwyn@aol. com> wrote:
Sooner or later those of us who work with victims and perpetrators have to
give some serious thought as to our understanding of good and evil. The
short version might be that they are interdependent, one cannot exist
without the other. Bert's thoughts on this subject have been very
challenging for therapists who believe that their task is to rescue good
victims from bad perpetrators.
