Dear all
Reading the exchange about this topic, some things came to my mind.
When looking at issues about guilt, perpetrator energy and victim energy, I
realise what Bert told and wrote: that the basic question for a long time
for him was: how can people do bad things with a good consciousness. The
answers he found after many years were not based on moral judgement or
theories but on observation about what works and what not. What leads to
reconciliation and what separates. His insights about how personal
conscience, group conscience, soul conscience and sprit conscience function,
are for me the most important contribution to the work. They lead me also to
understanding more about inclusion and exclusion, guilt and innocence. It
asks from me to go to the boundaries of my own consciences and stay there
until another paradigm or world opens up, in which I am at first completely
lost. And the only thing I can do there is to observe until I start to
recognise new images. The work of Bert has always encouraged me to make
these scary steps (for the full price!) Only after some time in this new
paradigm some words come to the images and we recognise there are some
familiar faces that have made the same movement. In constellation talk we
also feel how hard it can be to find words to talk about it. I admire Bert's
capacity to write in such clear words about these difficult subjects. His
book Der Grosse Konflict, Die Antwort is magnificent (The great conflict,
the answer, not yet translated into English??)
Over twenty years ago I was in a medical/philosophical training and we
discussed the topic of responsibly there too. The teacher then said (and it
was in French, I hardly can express it in Dutch and I will try in English):
Maybe we are not so much responsible for our deeds but for our growth. In my
heart I immediately felt a Yes to this sentence, as a therapist I was
willing to help people grow. That would make sense and that could be my tiny
contribution to a better world. This resonates also with what we call the
movement from blind (children's) love to adult and conscious love. From
being entangled and confused to being clear and more able to act. From
trying to save to finding what works.
A few years ago I was in the Cloisters in New York, visiting their beautiful
garden. There also was a class of schoolchildren with their teacher. The
teacher explained to these young children about heaven and hell and angels
and devils. She said something like: you always have a choice to do the
right thing, and if you do the right thing God loves you and you go to
heaven. If you choose to do the wrong thing God doesn't love you and you go
to hell.
When I listened to this story it felt like a knife went into my heart. I
wanted to scream: but this is not true! But I had no words. How could I
explain to this teacher or these children that everyone does things with a
good conscience in order to secure their place in the group. The teacher was
following her good conscience by saying what she had learned to say. And all
these children had their own group-family conscience about good and bad
things. And we all have our own fate that doesn't care about all this, we
are in service of a greater force and maybe our only freedom is to grow.
I cherish what we have here in CT, a place to grow and find our words
together
With love
Margreet Mossel
www.opstellingen.com <http://www.opstellingen.com/>
_____
Van: ConstellationTalk@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
[mailto:ConstellationTalk@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx] Namens Anngwyn
Verzonden: maandag 3 maart 2008 23:23
Aan: ConstellationTalk@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Onderwerp: [ConstellationTalk] Crime and punishment
Hello Anita,
Yes, I do know how difficult and complicated this subject is for all of us.
I am wrestling the demons with my chapter on " Victims and Perpetrators".
John Payne's work with rape and other victims that he describes in his
second book have been especially helpful. Also, in one of the issues of
Knowing Field Johannes Schmidt wrote about a session that he did involving a
woman whose father was the son of a German woman raped by a Russian soldier.
Bishop Tutu's work with reconciliation has much to offer, as well. In all of
these cases the perpetrator was afforded his dignity and treated with
respect. Bert has always emphasized the importance of this respect which
allows the perpetrator a role in the healing process.Bert's observation that
victims and perpetrators often exchange roles , especially when there is a
lust for revenge is important to bear in mind , as well.
If you like I will send a draft of the chapter so far which goes into the
subject in more depth than is possible here on the forum.
Warm Regards,
Anngwyn
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