I love this response overall, Alison, and I, too, want to respond to the
last sentence.
I believe we all have many father-figures and mother-figures. But each of us
only has one mother and one father. No one else is father or mother (except,
of course, for the ultimate archetypes: Father Sky, Mother Earth, etc.). I
think this is terribly important, because I have been affiliated with a
number of amazing organizations and movements with genius-male founders, and
the tendency for followers to develop father transferences is intense. It
has its uses, but ultimately, individuation requires us to see it for what
it is, and take our mother and father as our parents, with no substitutes. I
wonder if the tendency to see Bert Hellinger as ³Father² rather than ³father
figure² or ³inspiring teacher² is one of the elements in the confusions in
our practice these days, and some of the sense of betrayal that people feel
about recent developments.
If Bert Hellinger were indeed, father, then there would need to be a
corresponding mother. But since he¹s more a ³father-figure,² it¹s not
inevitable the constellations world have one, definitive ³mother figure.²
And there are many very wonderful ones out there! ;-)
Peace, Leslie
The Rev. Leslie Nipps, NLP & Family Constellations Practitioner
³Trust as a Way of Life²
www.leslienipps.com
leslie@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
From: Constellation Talk <ConstellationTalk@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx>
Reply-To: Constellation Talk <ConstellationTalk@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx>
Date: Sat, 2 Aug 2014 07:38:22 -0400
To: Constellation Talk <ConstellationTalk@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx>
Subject: [ConstellationTalk] If Bert if the Father...who's the mother?
Hi All,
I am appreciative of the conversation that emerged around silence.
It reminds me that we are doing sacred work, and as many spiritual
traditions show us, it is Silence that holds the sacred.
It is also true that the sacred permeates all, and words can and do speak
from a genuine Truth - so it would be a misconception to say that words do
not also convey the sacred! (I don't know that anyone is suggesting that, I
just felt the need to acknowledge). Yet, we all know how words can distort
and seem to separate us from the deeper Truth. Yes.
I want to move from the general to the very specific in this response,
however.
I was surprised to discover in reading Eimear's message that the fear and
silence I described in my initial post resonated in me as the fear and
silence of the girl who has been raped being asked to share it with someone
who tells me that it was my fault because of the clothes I was wearing.
Now, this is a metaphor, it is not precise. I bring up the rape analogy
because of Anutosh's description of carrying the "energy of a Rapist". But
the idea of trying to share your truth with someone who believes that you
are mistaken - I see now that it was fear of that situation and not
"superstition" that was creating my resistance. Thank you Eimear for holding
that piece and addressing my question so personally.
And so I close in a personal way, with the question I was left with at the
end of the Constellation in question:
If Bert is the Father...who is the Mother?
It is the courageous heart that loves. It is the loving heart that heals.
alisonfornes.com <http://alisonfornes.com>
