Gail,
Sometimes the representatives can have feelings like "I don't belong
here", "I want to leave", or, as you experienced it, of being ejected
from the field. More often than not this seems to be a valid
expression of what is happening to that person in the field. For
instance, the father may have needed to be excluded for a time - thus
the feeling of being ejected.
namaste,
Kenn Day
www.soulsolutionshome.com
On Jun 12, 2007, at 5:03 AM, Gail wrote:
Hi Alison,
This would have to be the area of fascination for me in constellation
work, thanks for opening the topic. On this subject I would like to
share an experience as a representative, where the constellation wasn't
stopped, but changed direction because I felt so strongly that the
energy was blocked and there was no permission for me to represent that
person. There have been other representative experiences for me in other
constellations where the energy in that particular person has felt
completely locked, with no movement toward resolution to be found - in
those cases it has felt like a key piece from a previous generation is
not yet in place - but never before this intense feeling of "no
permission to work here" to the point where I asked to leave the
representation.
In this case the client was a mother of teenage daughters. She and the
children's father were estranged. It was her first introduction to
Constellation Work, and the father knew nothing about what was
happening.
In the Constellation the oldest daughter was in deep distress at the
father's feet, both were outside the circle. I represented the father
and knew it was my fault but I wasn't prepared to admit anything and was
able to distance myself from reality by talking - the more I was allowed
to talk about what was in that space the further away from the reality
of the feelings I went - I was making up a fantasy world. There was a
pull backwards for me. A person was placed at a distance behind me - the
facilitator wasn't sure who it was, but felt to check whether it was a
distant ancestor or whether it was 'evil' - 'Evil' is what resonated. As
the facilitator tried to work with me as the father's representative I
reported 'there is no permission to work here' - the facilitator tried
to find movement by bringing in someone to represent 'Whatever is needed
for permission to work here' and shortly after that I asked to be
released from the role - it was a feeling of being ejected from the
space, I felt physcially unable to stay.
As the work continued the children were moved into the mother's family's
sphere, which felt much safer for them, and the relationship of the
mother to her family of origin became the focus for resolution.
Would welcome discussion around this - my guesses are that in this
case, the lack of permission could have been around that the mother was
the client, not the father; that the father is secretly abusive toward
the older child and will go to any lengths to protect this secret
(family murder/suicide situations often involve this dynamic); and
possibly that the mother may not be ready to see the abuse - maybe some
of the permission could lie in what the mother can bear to see? As I
think about this now the implications of the representative for 'Evil'
added to the possible family murder/suicide potential are resonating
quite strongly for me.
I am wondering whether a focus on working for the safety and wellbeing
of the children could be a helpful goal - you may not be able to do
anything for the parents, but it may be possible to find a safe place
for the children. I think your question Alison 'who was at risk if the
status quo continues?' is right to the point - and possibly 'who is at
risk if we are allowed to know the secret?' - because that may let you
know whether there is a perpetrator with whom you need to stand.
Gail.
--- In ConstellationTalk@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx, Alison Rose Levy <LevyAR@...>
wrote:
constellation
Hi!
I¹d love to hear from any of you who have had to ³stop² a
either because it felt as though there was no permission from thefamily, or
because the set-up seemed somehow compromised. I would love to knowboth
your criteria for doing that, as well as your view of what isoccurring at
those times.number of
This happened to me for the first time (after facilitating for a
years) at a workshop yesterday.with
The problem presented described a deeply divided and suffering family,
some kind of painful secret, yet the constellation set up by theclient
presented what appeared more like a ³staged² picture of ³onebig happy
family,² that was very incongruent with the information shared inthe
interview. All representatives reported feeling ³okay² wherethey were. No
one experienced anything else. There was an overall shallowness ofaffect.
women
The only tell-tale aspects were that in a workshop with a number of
participants young and old, the client selected as a representativefor her
thirty-something daughter, (the youngest of the family¹schildren)‹ the
oldest woman in the room. Also for the designated ³symptombearer² the
client selected a participant new to constellations who all throughoutthe
workshop consistently reported that he experienced no feelingswhatsoever
when he represented. Thus he provided no entrée into the experienceof that
particular key family member.client,
The set up featured all the children as satellites orbiting around the
central dyad of the parental relationship which indicated that all the
family energy was directed towards supporting that. However, the
when questioned, reported a happy marriage with no former partners norany
known entanglements that would lead to marital disharmony.found
I ended the constellation because the set-up felt incongruent, and I
no opening with the representatives. I said that I had no permissionto work
with the system and I asked the client to contemplate who was at riskif the
status quo continues.happened. But in
After the fact, it occurred to me that perhaps I might have moved the
children out of orbit and into new positions‹ to see what
the moment, it felt as though any movement would be an imposition ontoa
system organized to conceal rather than reveal the secret.
Comments?
Alison
Alison Rose Levy
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
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