Hi all
This was a difficult decision and not based on this email alone. I have
given Tom a series of private warnings before so my move would not have been
a surprise to him. I in fact had used the option to stop him sending emails
but it failed on this occasion. So the only options were to put up with this
or exclude him for a while. Please note the words for a while . He does
have the possibility of returning if he apologises. If he does not want to
do that then he is excluding himself.
I think Sheila made a very good point that Tom deserves the feedback from
the group post exclusion. I will forward that to him. It is easy to forward
you own emails to him as I have done here by copying him in.
hasta la vista
Chris Walsh
Melbourne, Australia
webpage: www.cwalsh.com.au
From: ConstellationTalk@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
[mailto:ConstellationTalk@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx] On Behalf Of Anita Roy
Sent: Saturday, 19 January 2008 5:54 AM
To: ConstellationTalk@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Subject: Re: [ConstellationTalk] Tom Melleltt
There are many ways to do set boundaries, and I appreciate that Chris was in
a difficult spot and had to take measures. In light of recent discussions re
breastfeeding and parenting, I am thinking what an appropriate boundary
might be within a family or yahoogroup.
Suspension is a form of alienation. It is like sending a kid to his room,
but he/she is still in the house, so not "thrown out". However, that still
causes the child to feel separate and abandoned, and not part of the family.
I once had a foster child, and if she had raging tantrums in the living
room, she did have to go to her room, but I went with her, to alleviate the
component of abandonment. It was preferable for her to stay in the living
room, but with me or my husband containing her physical and verbal violent
outbursts. This also alleviated the component of secret goings on in the
living room when she wasn't there. The containment, and discussion of her
behaviour were not secret, and transparency to everyone. This was also
educational for my own kids, as they saw the process and learned from it.
So in that spirit, I would recommend inclusion in the group for Mellett, but
his postings should be put on moderation as YahooGroups allows, and if they
are considered inappropriate by Chris who is responsible for the overall
well being of the group, then they simply shouldn'tt be approved for
broadcast. On good behaviour after any number of months deemed appropriate,
Mellett could go back to "unmoderated" status.
Sincerely
Anita Roy
On 18/01/2008, Paul Chung <paulchung@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
<mailto:paulchung%40paulchung.com.hk> > wrote:
<levye%40rcn.com>>:
Dear all,
I want to explore further from a systemic point of view. I would like to
know if Chris has to right to set up a constellation to explore if
"suspension" is the best solution for the interest of the group? While the
"group' also include Tom, does he has to right to mediate / regulate in
the
constellation if he detects entanglement between Tom & Bert with a view to
benefit the group. "Has the right" does not imply "has to drive".
I support Chris to blow the whistle. I would further support Tom to have
the
access to read what is going on with the rest of the group after the
suspension. Again "have the access" does not imply he "has the interest".
To me, Tom's email, as well as Bert's new style in recent years, are the
best arrangement or the fate of the SC community. "Yes, that's right"
In Chinese medicine, we give ways for the heat in fever to pass out from
the
body rather than to "stop" or "neutralise" it. A typical example is when
a baby or small child has fever, we'd rub our hands with medicine oil to
heat before placing it over the baby's feet to direct the heat from there.
Or we mop the baby's body with warm wet towel to drain away the heat as
the
water evaporates from the body. While some people in the western world
will
place ice cube / pad over the baby's forehead to keep it "cool". From our
perspective, more heat will drain away from the "cooled" forehead and the
brain cell may be damaged if the baby has a high temperature. We consider
directing the heat away with warm wet towel or heated palm over the feet
are
much safer.
Paul responding from Hong Kong,
a place where eastern & western culture conglomerate
2008/1/18, Ed Levy <levye@xxxxxxx <mailto:levye%40rcn.com>
<mailto:ConstellationTalk%40yahoogroups.com>doesn't
Chris,
Thanks for addressing the issue of Tom's inflammable speech, which
suit the purpose of this forum or meet his own seemingly starved needfor
attention and contact. I hope he finds both in a healthier way.
Ed Levy
_____
From: ConstellationTalk@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
<ConstellationTalk%40yahoogroups.com><mailto:ConstellationTalk%40yahoogroups.com>
[mailto:ConstellationTalk@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
<ConstellationTalk%40yahoogroups.com>]<tmasthenes13%40yahoo.com><tmasthenes13%40yahoo.com>
On Behalf Of Chris Walsh
Sent: Friday, January 18, 2008 2:38 AM
To: tmasthenes13@xxxxxxxxx <mailto:tmasthenes13%40yahoo.com>
<http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IVpM8OPixds&;> &>Subject: FW: [ConstellationTalk] When Bert finally croaks . .cool
Dear Tom,
I'm sorry but this email of yours is totally over the top and
inappropriate.
Accordingly I have removed you from the list to give you a chance to
your heals and reflect.Rose
You can reapply to join the group in two months if you make appropriate
apologies to the people you insulted in your email especially Alison
Levy, Ed Levy Ed Lynch and Bert Hellinger.
hasta la vista
Chris Walsh
Melbourne, Australia
webpage: www.cwalsh.com.au
From: ConstellationTalk@ <mailto:ConstellationTalk%40yahoogroups.com>
yahoogroups.com
[mailto:ConstellationTalk@ ;<mailto:ConstellationTalk%40yahoogroups.com>
yahoogroups.com] On Behalf Of tmasthenes13
Sent: Friday, 18 January 2008 7:51 AM
To: ConstellationTalk@ <mailto:ConstellationTalk%40yahoogroups.com>
yahoogroups.com
Subject: [ConstellationTalk] When Bert finally croaks . .
Greetings to one and all! As the "Phantom Constellator" who "belongs
by not belonging," I just dropped in "to see what condition my
condition was in" and to offer my contribution to the worldwide FC
community when our esteemed Father Anton Suitbert Hellinger finally
croaks.
I choose to describe this future event with a cheeky (actually
throaty!) English slang verb for dying because, as Jesus says, we
don't know the hour of our passing, and ole' Bert might live to be a
hundred! Hell, the sonofabitch might outlive me!!!
But the actuarial tables predict otherwise, so odds are, he kicks off
before I do. Therefore, I need a way for you all to stamp this posting
into your memories and contact me when Bert's time is up and he
sojourns to that Great Constellation in the sky.
[for those subscribers whose first language is not English, the
etymology of the word "croak" meaning "to die" is either a reference
to the frog-like sound of the "death rattle" emitted as the person's
last breath on the deathbed, or else the Irish Gaelic verb "croch"
meaning "to hang" --- not only with a rope but also to "hang on a
cross," i.e. "to crucify."]
Here's my offering. For the last few weeks I have been obsessively
singing the moving and stirring German military requiem/elegy song
that Bert had requested to be sung at his 2006 Bavarian Birthday Bash
as Max Dauskardt reported to us in his posting #3009 dated December
18, 2006. Click here to read Max's post
http://health.
<http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/ConstellationTalk/message/3009>
groups.yahoo.com/group/ConstellationTalk/message/3009
The song is known either by its title: "Mein guter Kamerad" (My Good
Comrade)
or its opening line, "Ich hatte einen Kameraden" (I once had a comrade.)
Here's an English Wikipedia entry for the song, its use and history:
http://en.wikipedia ;<
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ich_hatte_einen_Kameraden>
.org/wiki/Ich_hatte_einen_Kameraden
I possess a very good and booming Irish tenor voice and I envision
singing this hymn at whatever memorial service for Bert we will
organize in Southern California.
(I would also recite his poem to Adolf Hitler in both his German
original and in my English translation.)
Ideally, the Comrade elegy should be sung by a large men's chorus, but
I'm able to sing for ten men in case I have to sing solo. Perhaps
this notice might inspire other men to form a chorus.
I'd be willing to travel to any constellation center or conference
during the one year of official mourning for our beloved father
figure. What a way to set the mood for any and all constellations!
Hope you have enough floor space for all the horizontal
representatives you'll have!
(I can see it now. You know that point in a constellation when the
rep's knees start buckling as they get ready to drop dead? Hey,
sometimes it's the most comfortable position in the whole process.
I've actually fallen asleep as rep on the floor, only to wake up to
the facilitator needing to convince me that I had actually died!)
Also, we should be proactive and consult our erudite winemaster, "Over
Easy" Eddie Lynch, who should be able to provide cases of the two
vintage wines: Bert Nouveau and Bert Classique. (Isn't there a Sophie
Liebfraumilch vintage as well?)
Check Ed Lynch's wine review in this posting #3550 of August 4, 2007
http://health.
<http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/ConstellationTalk/message/3550>
groups.yahoo.com/group/ConstellationTalk/message/3550
Oh, I just had a thought! Alison, perhaps you and your Eddie Levy
could provide some kosher wine, maybe Mogen David for the Jewish
representatives. We'll need both perpetrator and victim vintages!
All of the following You Tube videos are no longer than 3 minutes
long. Some are just 2 minutes long. Each and every one plays the same
men's choral rendition of the song at a slow requiem or elegiac
tempo--- except for [3] which moves at the very stirring faster tempo
of a battle hymn. [5] has best sound quality.
Do watch all 8 videos as they are not duplicates of each other in the
chosen photos or movie clips of the German soldiers. I give a short
description of each video.
Tom Mellett
Van Nuys, CA
==================================
(B/W = Black and White)
[1] Color still photos with German sub-titles. Each photo expresses a
line of the song
http://www.youtube. ;<http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IVpM8OPixds>
com/watch?v=IVpM8OPixds
<http://www.youtube. ;<http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IVpM8OPixds
<http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2lhxf6ygz0c&NR=1> &NR=1>com/watch?v=IVpM8OPixds&> &etc.
[2] B/W still photos, with English translation of each line in sequence
http://www.youtube. ;<http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6pj2EE5WNkw>
com/watch?v=6pj2EE5WNkw
[3] B/W & colorized MOVIE CLIPS, sung at very UPBEAT TEMPO
http://www.youtube. ;<http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qpMPUgaEEXQ>
com/watch?v=qpMPUgaEEXQ
[4] Actual B/W MOVIE CLIPS of soldiers marching, deploying, shooting,
http://www.youtube. ;<http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2lhxf6ygz0c>
com/watch?v=2lhxf6ygz0c
<http://www.youtube. ;<http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2lhxf6ygz0c
<http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tq94CsnSIFo&;> &>com/watch?v=2lhxf6ygz0c&NR=1> &NR=1
[5] Good color still photos, no words, but BEST SOUND QUALITY!
http://www.youtube. ;<http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tq94CsnSIFo>
com/watch?v=tq94CsnSIFo
<http://www.youtube. ;<http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tq94CsnSIFo
<http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1lh_mJzDrC8&NR=1> &NR=1>com/watch?v=tq94CsnSIFo&> &
=======================================
[6] Posted by German. B/W still photos, all corpses or scenes of
destruction
http://www.youtube. ;<http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=24ssJzAtlD0>
com/watch?v=24ssJzAtlD0
[7] Posted by German. B/W still photos, almost all are living caring
for wounded.
http://www.youtube. ;<http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1lh_mJzDrC8>
com/watch?v=1lh_mJzDrC8
<http://www.youtube. ;<http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1lh_mJzDrC8
<http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fWQBSbkaTQI&NR=1> &NR=1>com/watch?v=1lh_mJzDrC8&NR=1> &NR=1
[8] B/W still photos, no corpses, only positive military situations
http://www.youtube. ;<http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fWQBSbkaTQI>
com/watch?v=fWQBSbkaTQI
<http://www.youtube. ;<http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fWQBSbkaTQI
com/watch?v=fWQBSbkaTQI&NR=1> &NR=1
===============================
(Poem written in 1809 by German poet Ludwig Uhland and set to music
by Swiss composer Friedrich Silcher in 1825)
=====================
Ich hatt' einen Kameraden,
Einen bessern findst du nit.
Die Trommel schlug zum Streite,
Er ging an meiner Seite
In gleichem Schritt und Tritt.
In gleichem Schritt und Tritt.
Eine Kugel kam geflogen,
Gilt's mir oder gilt es dir?
Ihn hat es weggerissen,
Er liegt mir vor den Füßen,
Als wär's ein Stück von mir.
Als wär's ein Stück von mir.
Will mir die Hand noch reichen,
Derweil ich eben lad.
Kann dir die Hand nicht geben,
Bleib du im ew'gen Leben
Mein guter Kamerad!
Mein guter Kamerad!
======================
My literal translation:
-------------------------
I once had a comrade
You will never find a better one!
The drums beat for battle.
He went right at my side
with equal gait and stride.
with equal gait and stride.
A bullet came flying
Meant for me or meant for you?
It tore him apart
He lies at my feet
As if he was a piece of me.
As if he was a piece of me.
He still wants to give me his hand
All the while I am reloading:
"I cannot give you my hand!
So stay in eternal life,
My good Comrade,
My good Comrade!"
============================================
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