Annie The term transference is ambiguous for me as I am not a trained or
practicing therapist. My substitute, aligned with my experiences and
understanding, is bonding. Do representatives and clients bond with each
in a Constellation? Will that bond last over time?
Im recently returned from the incredible 7-day training intensive in
Germany. It was inspiring, challenging, healing and fulfilling all day long
for a week. We had the opportunity to present our own personal issues,
represent in the Constellations of our peers, and share a living space with
a community of Constellators from 6 continents. If there are lines drawn to
divide therapist from client, representative from the role, stranger from
friend, or colleague from intimate they were gradually obliterated in the
dance.
Are we now to unbind ourselves from these experiences as we return to
familiar surroundings in our home countries, shake them off as we regain our
composure? Or are these bonds a new aspect of our being which we will carry
indefinitely?
I see this in parallel to your question. Had I stood as your father in a
Constellation five years ago, would we still feel the resonance today? If
we do, are those feelings transference: a projection of your feelings for
your father thrown onto me? Or are they an expression of bonding: that we
shared an authentic moment of intimacy?
These questions lead to more questions not to answers. Otto Rank spoke of
two divergent aspects of psychology: one as a tool or technique to control
others, and the second as a means to increase self-knowledge. Twenty-first
Century psychotherapy is leaning far towards the former. Licensure,
insurance, and regulations demand that that empirically validated
interventions aim towards defined outcomes. Constellations lean towards the
latter. We open a space in the circle of chairs without intention or
determinism and let the process unfold. No wonder that many mainstream
practitioners perceived our process as inherently dangerous, i.e.
uncontrollable.
It seems to me to be an occupational hazard of our endeavors, that when we
open our hearts, minds, bodies and souls to the field, we concede a level of
control over how we will be affected. There is no guarantee that this will
all be to the better, though our aggregate experience suggests that the
effects are overwhelmingly positive.
Clearing exercises and cautions are useful tools to minimize unwanted
effects. Theyre not guaranteed to work.
Hunter Beaumont spoke at length about open- and closed-heartedness. We
naturally assume that opening hearts closed by trauma and loss is for the
better. Your question suggests to me that in opening ourselves in this way,
we cede a level of control over the feelings that emerge from the cave.
Personally, its a gamble I am willing to take, with consequences I am
willing to live with.
Dan
-----Original Message-----
From: ConstellationTalk@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
[mailto:ConstellationTalk@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx] On Behalf Of annieblockpearl
Sent: Sunday, May 27, 2007 4:45 PM
To: ConstellationTalk@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Subject: [ConstellationTalk] lingering transference issues
Dear colleagues,
As a constellator in New York City I have observed a phenomenon both
within myself and some participants in my groups. I'd appreciate any
comments you may have concerning lingering transference issues.
My initial training as a facilitator was completed five years ago.
Despite initial clearing exercises and the passage of time,I still
retain strong feelings for those group members who represented in my
personal constellations. These feelings persist despite my real-life
knowledge and continued exposure to these people.Participants in my
group have experienced the same phenomenon resulting from powerful
personal work, despite the clearing exercises and cautions that I
offer in our workshops.
I haven't experienced these transferences as a problem, but it
certainly is something of which to be mindful.
Any thoughts, ideas, suggestions?
Annie Block Pearl, M.S.
Integrative Therapy
Systemic, Structural and Family Constellations
ordained Interfaith Minister
www.annieblockpearl.com
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