I'm returning after being off-line for several days, so I'm responding
here but have read the other messages about bowing. I totally agree with
both Robert and Brigitte about pressure and resistance. On the other
hand, traditional Jewish practice is very embodied, so I believe it is
important to help a Jewish person find a way to embody a proper
relationship to parents in a constellation.
One Jewish tradition that may be useful is that of parents blessing
children each Friday night at the beginning of Shabbat - the sabbath. My
extremely secular parents would never have considered such a thing, nor
have I ever done it formally with my children, but traditional Jews
would place their hands on their children's heads and formally bless
them as a weekly practice. (This practice was included in the musical
Fiddler on the Roof.) I can easily imagine incorporating variants of
this practice into constellations, either with chairs, as Leslie
suggests, or in any other way that allows the client to embody a good
relation with the parent(s). Of course this has to be done in service
to the client, with deep and subtle attention to what is possible and
healing in the moment, as has been said.
Furthermore, let us remember that honoring one's parents has a very high
place in Judaism; it is one of the commandments, after all. So it is
both possible and probably necessary to hold that awareness as
facilitator and let it illuminate a Jewish client's reluctance to
formally bow in a constellation. So a facilitator might say, for
example, "Since you are Jewish, will you accept a blessing from your
father/mother?" and then notice and acknowledge what is and is not
ready to emerge.
Deborah
Deborah Gavrin Frangquist
Career & Life Design for Professionals, Artists & Executives
415-346-6121; mobile 415-642-0225 www.ChosenFutures.com
<http://www.chosenfutures.com/>
--- In ConstellationTalk@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx, Brigitte Kupfer wrote:
tune
Thanks Robert,
for creating clarity around this.
It is so important that we don't "push the river" and stay present and
into the energy of the client's system, recognising when there is anis
impulse in us to get things "in order" for the client while the order
not ready to emerge.of
"We shall be careful..."
Michael Leunig poet and cartoonist from Australia says it beautifully:
*"We pray for the fragile ecology of the heart and the mind. The sense
meaning. So finely assembled and balanced and so easily overturned.The
careful, ongoing construction of love. As painful and exhausting asthe
struggle for truth and as easily abandoned.*this
*Hard-fought and won are the shifting sands of this sacred ground,
ecology. Easy to desecrate and difficult to defend, this vulnerablejoy,
this exposed faith, this precious order. This sanity.*implies
*We shall be careful. With others and with ourselves.*
*Amen"*
Best wishes
Brigitte
On Sun, May 5, 2013 at 9:09 AM, Robert Grant erebees@... wrote:
Dear Friends,
I always find the subtle implications significant. To me resistance
seems topressure. In my observation under truly healing conditions energy
conditionsflow rather effortlessly. If there is resistance maybe healing
ofhave not yet been facilitated. In some less than happy experiences
to bowconstellation work I have witnessed facilitators pressuring clients
agenda in the name of the greater good healing god.
Humbling resistant clients quickly carries the danger of putting an
resistance? Can'tahead of the clients reality. Do we really need to humble
our ownwe wait for it to fall away on its own? If we don't look into
Big) thathearts what are we?
Best wishes to all,
Robert
On Sun, May 5, 2013 at 3:35 AM, gary stuart Gary@... wrote:
**
Great BOWING Thread .
I find many times when Clients have a resistance to Bowing (too
Parent Theirthey SIT DOWN is a Chair in front of their Family System or
theirBODY knows its order and humbleness just in Sitting LOWER than
Client StandAncestors or Parents Worst case you can have the resistant
Soulbehind their Rep in a Chair sitting and Bowing for them as their
fightingwill
get it and the Body knows ORDER LOVE and HARMONY without the Ego
Mother..against Inner Peace
1 new concept I use in a situation is let the Client Be their
AMAZING how fastFacing their own Rep or grandmother facing their Mother
their shoesthey GET IT then . We are all extensions of them and to be in
part ofhumbles resistant clients quickly. At the very least they own the
understatingthem that is the others. Hence a deeper compassion and
healingarises
at lightning speed .
Namaste, Gary Stuart LA, CA
www.chifield.com
3A%20Honoring%20%28bowing%29%20in%20Judaism> "Robert Grant"
Dear Adrian and All,
As many of us will know bowing is a powerful ritual with powerful
re-traumatising,property when used correctly. It can also be a strong
authoritarianabusive and harmful event if used as an instruction by an
clientsfacilitator. We need to be sensitive to the feeling dynamics in
ourand
representatives alike. However what we need to be most aware of is
areown
feelings as we conduct a constellation.
At the verge of a genuine reconciliation moment when the players
them, Itruly,
truly ready and only their lack of familiarity with bowing stops
feelsmay suggest as a possibility to experiment with bowing if it
right
for them.
Best wishes to all,
Robert
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