A former client asked me a question which I am passing along to the group.
He is in his late 30s, living in a remote small city in the Great Plains
area of the northwestern United States. His mother was married with 5
children when she became pregnant after a one-night stand with an interstate
truck driver. She concealed the pregnancy and gave him up for adoption at
birth. We did a Constellation about 2 years ago, which was very intense.
He reports it had a strong and positive impact on him.
About 10 years ago he obtained the name of his mother through the adoption
agency and telephoned her. They spoke for a while. The mother never saw
his father again and knows nothing of his whereabouts. She was apologetic
and asked him not to contact her again.
He asked me whether he should accept his mother's request to have no further
contact. I sat with the question overnight. My response was to ask him a
series of questions: What will you do when you read her obituary in the
local newspaper? Do you go to the funeral? After she dies, can you
respectfully contact your siblings? If yes, must you wait until she dies
before doing so?
I do not have good answers for these questions. One concern is that to the
siblings, he is the excluded one. It would not surprise me if one of them
is suffering on his behalf.
Can anyone share your reflections on the systemic relationship between these
half-siblings? What is a good course of action in these situations?
I will share your responses with this man.
Thanks again for all.
Dan
