Hi Dan,
What are the mother¹s reasons for not wanting further contact? Without a
direct connection to the case or client myself (that is, in a forum format I
have less contact with this man¹s knowing field myself and this becomes an
exercise more based in intellect), I would want to know more about the
reasons the mother gave for not wanting contact. That might shed light on
the consequences that could result from the man taking the actions your
questions suggest.
Best wishes,
Jane
On 1/27/06 4:52 PM, "Dan Booth Cohen" <danbcohen@xxxxxxx> wrote:
A former client asked me a question which I am passing along to the group.
He is in his late 30s, living in a remote small city in the Great Plains area
of the northwestern United States. His mother was married with 5 children
when she became pregnant after a one-night stand with an interstate truck
driver. She concealed the pregnancy and gave him up for adoption at birth. We
did a Constellation about 2 years ago, which was very intense. He reports it
had a strong and positive impact on him.
About 10 years ago he obtained the name of his mother through the adoption
agency and telephoned her. They spoke for a while. The mother never saw his
father again and knows nothing of his whereabouts. She was apologetic and
asked him not to contact her again.
He asked me whether he should accept his mother¹s request to have no further
contact. I sat with the question overnight. My response was to ask him a
series of questions: What will you do when you read her obituary in the local
newspaper? Do you go to the funeral? After she dies, can you respectfully
contact your siblings? If yes, must you wait until she dies before doing so?
I do not have good answers for these questions. One concern is that to the
siblings, he is the excluded one. It would not surprise me if one of them is
suffering on his behalf.
Can anyone share your reflections on the systemic relationship between these
half-siblings? What is a good course of action in these situations?
I will share your responses with this man.
Thanks again for all
Dan
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