Greetings from Arizona,
In my experience it is important to create a container for SCW work which does
not include such challenging discussions because they can deeply disturb the
client who is always my first priority . The important thing is that something
shifted and often we really don't know why...and that is just how it is...and
before working I often say that there will be some sessions which will require
silence afterward...and Bert has often acknowledged respect for the
mystery...and rarely assumes a defensive stance... At some point you might have
inquired why this participant had such a driving need for her to be right and
you to be wrong...and maybe offer to work with her next... just a
thought...given that it was apparently so important that the perpetrator not be
the grandfather....so much trauma in that field that your working within...I
feel that it more important to be gentle , avoid power struggles with people in
pain, and let go of any need "to be right"...
Warm regards,
Anngwyn St. Just
http://anngwyn.wisrville.org
www.acst-international.com
In a message dated 02/23/14 17:06:50 US Mountain Standard Time,
spirited@xxxxxxxxxxxx writes:
Greetings from China
I ran a constellation workshop here on the weekend, and had an interesting
incident, which I would like to hear how others may handle.
One woman brought up the issue of her child’s stammer. I proposed three reps:
herself, the stammer, and her child.
She placed all three next to each other, facing the same direction. Ok, that
was an obvious arrow. I tried to discern who they could be facing. After
questioning it seemed most likely to be her grandfather, who was a policeman
during the cultural revolution. As is usual in China, this was never spoken
about, so she had no further information. But it seemed there was a victim, a
woman, and the rep for the stammer indicated this very clearly.
The work was powerful, and the client, who had experienced no feeling at all
watching it for some time, suddenly burst into tears. Something shifted through
the process.
Afterwards when I fielded questions, one woman played the ‘doubting Thomas’
role. She said - well, you have no real knowledge it was the grandfather. He
might have been a clerk. You created the emotion because you put him in there,
and directed the drama. You might be misleading her unnecessarily, and there is
no proof at all that this is really what the stammer is linked to.
This was a reasonable interrogation of me, the rationalist mode. I answered as
best I could: explaining that we use feelings as guide, that we notice the
structure of the constellation, and do our best to read it, listening deeply to
what it is communicating. I explained the difference between ‘forensic truth’
and systemic truth, and tried to communicate the contrast between linear causal
explanations and multiple causality.
She was not really satisfied, and kept on pressing her concern that I had
simply conjured up this drama, possibly deceptive in my confidence.
I finally had to tell her that perhaps we had different ways of valuing
feelings and the fuzzy logic/impressionistic approach of constellation work,
and invite her to notice her own feelings as well as her thinking.
I feel confident of course in my history of how constellations work, and how
they benefit. But it was certainly confronting to have someone strip it down
like that in the cold light of ‘rational’ analysis. Whilst I can see that she
only views one side, I think she does point out a danger in our work,
subjective as it is…
Well, I open this up to how other facilitators deal with this kind of objection.
Vinay
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Calm is over all the hilltops,
in all the treetops you can
hardly feel a breath.
The little birds are hushed
in the wood.
Wait,
soon you will be calm too.
- Goethe
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Workshops | Training | Gestalt Therapy
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Steve Vinay Gunther | Director
USA +1 323 391 9810 | Australia +61(2) 8064 7431
w www.depth.net.au | e spirited@xxxxxxxxxxxx
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