Interesting. I tend not to field questions after a constellation (except maybe
if it is a training module). It encourages this kind of left brain analysis
which i consider to be an intrusion into the constellation. I prefer to wait
and let the client's own soul process what is happening in his or her own time.
This person's scepticism says something about her and her relationship to this
particular constellation, but also about the field and I'm curious about the
need you felt to explain yourself or justify what you were doing. Were you also
caught in the field in that moment?
I didn't see you interpreting what was happening but more offering a
possibility and the client's soul was touched. We don't need to know more than
that.
The difference between constellations and psychotherapy or psychodrama is that
we are looking to help the client uncover the 'unconscious reality' of the
family system. We do them no favours if we collude with their story in
preference to what the constellation shows.
Happy New Year to all
Barbara
Sent from my iPhone
On 1 May 2014, at 03:46, Katia del Rivero Vargas <katia@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx>
wrote:
I decided not share my own perspective in the origin because is different,
and is not easy for me to handle the consequences of offer different
perspectives, and when I read what you shared about Hellinger and his idea
about to see "the true" then I decided to take the risk.
I'm amazed how easy it’s for us to make an interpretation why this
participant offered her doubts, and how we are seeing the “right” image in
the constellation process.
And I need to say that my heart is deeply connected and in the side of the
participant who offered all her doubts, questions, etc.
She is part of the process, she is a voice of many of us and if we don’t
cancel this voice so quickly, it could be possible that we learn something
or see something what touches our securities.
I don’t trust in the constellations where the facilitator see what the
client don’t see, or when the facilitator has “the true” that the client not
has.
I believe, deeply believe, that there is something bigger than us, and I
believe that the soul of all of us is connected and knows what really is
needed. If the soul of this participant has at least 1% of reason in her
doubts, what would be different for us?
Katia del Rivero Vargas
Visión Sistémica
Directora General
Oficina (52 55) 5544 8799 / Celular (044 55) 5454 5438
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De: ConstellationTalk@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
[mailto:ConstellationTalk@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx] En nombre de Steve Vinay Gunther
Enviado el: domingo, 23 de febrero de 2014 06:04 p.m.
Para: ConstellationTalk@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Asunto: [ConstellationTalk] Doubting Thomas
Greetings from China
I ran a constellation workshop here on the weekend, and had an interesting
incident, which I would like to hear how others may handle.
One woman brought up the issue of her child’s stammer. I proposed three
reps: herself, the stammer, and her child.
She placed all three next to each other, facing the same direction. Ok, that
was an obvious arrow. I tried to discern who they could be facing. After
questioning it seemed most likely to be her grandfather, who was a policeman
during the cultural revolution. As is usual in China, this was never spoken
about, so she had no further information. But it seemed there was a victim,
a woman, and the rep for the stammer indicated this very clearly.
The work was powerful, and the client, who had experienced no feeling at all
watching it for some time, suddenly burst into tears. Something shifted
through the process.
Afterwards when I fielded questions, one woman played the ‘doubting Thomas’
role. She said - well, you have no real knowledge it was the grandfather. He
might have been a clerk. You created the emotion because you put him in
there, and directed the drama. You might be misleading her unnecessarily,
and there is no proof at all that this is really what the stammer is linked
to.
This was a reasonable interrogation of me, the rationalist mode. I answered
as best I could: explaining that we use feelings as guide, that we notice
the structure of the constellation, and do our best to read it, listening
deeply to what it is communicating. I explained the difference between
‘forensic truth’ and systemic truth, and tried to communicate the contrast
between linear causal explanations and multiple causality.
She was not really satisfied, and kept on pressing her concern that I had
simply conjured up this drama, possibly deceptive in my confidence.
I finally had to tell her that perhaps we had different ways of valuing
feelings and the fuzzy logic/impressionistic approach of constellation work,
and invite her to notice her own feelings as well as her thinking.
I feel confident of course in my history of how constellations work, and how
they benefit. But it was certainly confronting to have someone strip it down
like that in the cold light of ‘rational’ analysis. Whilst I can see that
she only views one side, I think she does point out a danger in our work,
subjective as it is…
Well, I open this up to how other facilitators deal with this kind of
objection.
Vinay
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Calm is over all the hilltops,
in all the treetops you can
hardly feel a breath.
The little birds are hushed
in the wood.
Wait,
soon you will be calm too.
- Goethe
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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