Greetings to you, Vinay, from your new hometown -
What a difficult situation. It sounds like you handled it so thoughtfully.
Thank you for describing thoroughly how you responded to it. Very helpful.
It brings to mind a wonderful tool Stephan Hausner shared, albeit applied in
a somewhat different context. He will set up two reps for a client and
himself to see what the dynamic really is beneath the resistance. It sounds
like in this case, this "rationalist" became the client, in a sense, or
could have. So I am also if you considered inviting her to either do her own
constellation to experience the work, in her body, for herself? Or set up
your dynamic? Would that have been appropriate?
I am very happy to learn more from you and others how else to deal with this
inevitable situation, and be better prepared when I bonk into it myself.
All best,
Alison
On 4/17/14 9:53 AM, "Luis Moreira" <luismvm@xxxxxxxxx> wrote:
Hello Steve
apparently, stuttering son contrasted with the apparent fluidity of the
mother.
skepticism is part of our work.
when you enter the 'field' of systemic action has a mutual dynamic.
origin in the system who puts the subject.
origin in the system facilitator.
are two frequencies that create a meeting and generate short-circuit.
Noise.
Undoubtedly challenging.
Hug.
2014-02-24 0:03 GMT+00:00 Steve Vinay Gunther <spirited@xxxxxxxxxxxx>:
Greetings from China
I ran a constellation workshop here on the weekend, and had an interesting
incident, which I would like to hear how others may handle.
One woman brought up the issue of her child¹s stammer. I proposed three
reps: herself, the stammer, and her child.
She placed all three next to each other, facing the same direction. Ok,
that was an obvious arrow. I tried to discern who they could be facing.
After questioning it seemed most likely to be her grandfather, who was a
policeman during the cultural revolution. As is usual in China, this was
never spoken about, so she had no further information. But it seemed there
was a victim, a woman, and the rep for the stammer indicated this very
clearly.
The work was powerful, and the client, who had experienced no feeling at
all watching it for some time, suddenly burst into tears. Something shifted
through the process.
Afterwards when I fielded questions, one woman played the doubting
Thomas¹ role. She said - well, you have no real knowledge it was the
grandfather. He might have been a clerk. You created the emotion because
you put him in there, and directed the drama. You might be misleading her
unnecessarily, and there is no proof at all that this is really what the
stammer is linked to.
This was a reasonable interrogation of me, the rationalist mode. I
answered as best I could: explaining that we use feelings as guide, that we
notice the structure of the constellation, and do our best to read it,
listening deeply to what it is communicating. I explained the difference
between forensic truth¹ and systemic truth, and tried to communicate the
contrast between linear causal explanations and multiple causality.
She was not really satisfied, and kept on pressing her concern that I had
simply conjured up this drama, possibly deceptive in my confidence.
I finally had to tell her that perhaps we had different ways of valuing
feelings and the fuzzy logic/impressionistic approach of constellation
work, and invite her to notice her own feelings as well as her thinking.
I feel confident of course in my history of how constellations work, and
how they benefit. But it was certainly confronting to have someone strip it
down like that in the cold light of rational¹ analysis. Whilst I can see
that she only views one side, I think she does point out a danger in our
work, subjective as it is
Well, I open this up to how other facilitators deal with this kind of
objection.
Vinay
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Calm is over all the hilltops,
in all the treetops you can
hardly feel a breath.
The little birds are hushed
in the wood.
Wait,
soon you will be calm too.
- Goethe
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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