Vinay -
You are already clued in to simple care and support. This is the most
important in my experience. Be present and feed the grieving. Adults in
grief tend to eat and sleep poorly. It can help to provide food. If you
can't cook, bring in prepared foods, lots. Children have difficulty
integrating the new "reality." Be present for them. This can be watching
over their shoulders while they play electronic games, sitting on the couch
and watching kids TV, taking them on some outings, showing up at their team
sports, etc. They may initiate conversation or have questions, or not.
Years from now you may not remember the details of the funeral or eulogy,
but they will always remember that you were there.
My heart opens to you, your sister, and the children.
Dan
-----Original Message-----
From: ConstellationTalk@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
[mailto:ConstellationTalk@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx] On Behalf Of Steve Vinay Gunther
Sent: Thursday, January 24, 2008 2:51 AM
To: ConstellationTalk@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Subject: [ConstellationTalk] Funeral
Hi folks...I am wanting some advice.
My sister's husband died yesterday, of a heart attack. He was 44. On
and off smack over many years, on methadone for the last 6 years.
Busted recently, but then just got back to counselling and methadone.
He had some kind of bipolar condition. A relatively harmless sort of
a guy. My sister, schizophrenia, but pretty sane since having two
kids, who are 6 and 8.
So now I face supporting her with the whole funeral process, which
will probably take place in a few weeks. I have never been to a
funeral, so its all new to me. I am interested in approaching the
whole thing with intelligence, reflectivity, and awareness of the
wider field. But no idea really what is going to work better. Apart
from simple care, and support, which is of course a lot, I am
interested in what details to attend to on a systemic level.
Any thoughts, input, experience welcome.
Vinay Gunther
--
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Northern Rivers Gestalt Institute
15 Coleman St, Lismore,
NSW, 2480 Australia
Ph/Fax (02) 66 213 911
admin@gestalt. <mailto:admin%40gestalt.org.au> org.au
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Perceive all conflicts as patterns of energy seeking a harmonious
balance in a whole."
Dhyani Ywhoo, Etoway Cherokee
* GESTALT training in the Northern Rivers:
http://www.gestalt. ;<http://www.gestalt.org.au> org.au
* GANZ (Gestalt Australia And New Zealand):
http://www.ganz. ;<http://www.ganz.org.au> org.au
* Prout - an alternative socio-economic vision:
http://www.prout. ;<http://www.prout.org> org
* Follow your life-dream - excellent support from Barbara Sher:
http://www.barbaras ;<http://www.barbarasher.com> her.com
* Health and Healing in Cebu:
http://www.amwellne ;<http://www.amwellness.org> ss.org
* Online Gestalt course:
http://www.zurinsti ;<http://www.zurinstitute.com/gestaltcourse.html>
tute.com/gestaltcourse.html
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
