Dear Robert
The cathartic use/misuse of emotions in constellations is a very
interesting topic indeed - I have recently observed how in certain
countries groups seem to make more use of this approach (e.g. in Northern
Europe) than I have noticed, say, in the UK - is this a particular local
culture of facilitation and constellation work, or just a particular
facilitator's approach?
There was a hype of this approach in therapy in 1970s and perhaps 1980s?
but it died down for a variety of reasons... A louder constellation is
certainly not a more effective one... and I am suspicious when the end of
the constellation is seen as the end of the work; it is usually the
beginning... there might also be some interesting significance of loud
voice and sound in the work beyond the cathartic - in one of the
constellations I facilitated recently, the loud voice seemed to signify
presence, it became a representative itself - of a new, audible presence
of that person in their world, showing us both the split and the movement
towards integration.
Turning towards this e-group here, I find the conversations truly
inspiring, it is quite a 'silent' (literally) way of communicating, but not
in every way...
Warmly, Didi
Dr Dimitrina Spencer
www.coreconstellations.co.uk and
Department of Education, University of Oxford
On Fri, Mar 1, 2013 at 1:08 PM, Robert Grant <erebees@xxxxxxxxx> wrote:
Hello Vinay,
It is great that you have brought up the issue of more dramatic
expressions in constellations. As it has been mentioned before the
facilitator is part of the field, in fact central to the field.
Usually his/her personal sense of safety will constitute the limits of
the group.
Most facilitators in my experience understandably pull back from
cathartic expressions. Even if allowing cathartic intensity was to be
important to the deeper healing process, it is often too much to
handle, too troublesome, too noisy, too gushing, too unregulated, too
uninhibited and can even feel outright disturbing and scary.
Once the lid is lifted it might take longer than we like for the
bubbling to settle down. Short, few hours long workshops may not be
appropriate for allowing such intensity to emerge. And yet wouldn't it
be fascinating to discover how far we can travel on that path?
"You will never do anything in this world without courage. It is the
greatest quality of the mind next to honour." (Aristotle)
Best wishes,
Robert
On Fri, Mar 1, 2013 at 4:47 AM, Steve Vinay Gunther
<spirited@xxxxxxxxxxxx> wrote:
I just finished doing some constellation work in Mexico. Particularlynotable were three constellations (all on the last day!) related to family
members who were murdered .
before - the issue she brought was her hatred of the murderers. I was
The most intense was a woman whose daughter had been murdered 3 years
cognisant of discussions on this list, about caution in such cases. So I
proceeded very slowly, and didn't attempt too much. I placed reps for the
two murderers in front of her, and the whole rest of the group stood behind
her supporting her.
stay present, breathe, feel the support of the group, and allow her
She had so much emotion, so most of the time I just spent helping her
feelings to be in her body. It was very intense for everyone of course. We
brought in a rep for her daughter towards the end, as she had some
important things to say to her. I wanted to do more, but that was really as
much as everyone, including her, could take in.
cathartic therapy orientation. He felt it would have been good for her to
I had a discussion afterwards with my host, who comes from a more
express more of her hatred directly, and that in Mexican society, women are
often trained not to speak up. I guess I weigh in with the tendency I have
observed in the constellation ethos of a more subtle approach, involving
presence, acknowledgement and being with the 'what is'. But I can also see
the validity perhaps of a more dramatic expression at times, and perhaps it
would have been good in this case, as she wanted to move to forgiveness
(prompted by the rep for the daughter) - perhaps too quickly. Interested in
what others think.
for really processing the trauma of such occurrences; and without the such
It struck me that families of victims tend to get little to no support
support and guidance its very hard to truly find a way to move through such
experiences.
split from another local community school, because they didn't like the
--
I also did an organisational process for a local community school. They
autocratic ways of the director. So this school was much more
democratically organised. Some of them were complaining of wanting more
structure. At one point, we put out all the main elements operating in the
school field. At my suggestion, they also included a rep for a 'director'
position. Of course, that was placed right at the edge of the room. We did
various reorganisations of the constellation, but the director rep had a
headache. Until I found the best place, which was centre front of the whole
constellation! Ah, you just can't get rid of important elements of the
system, no matter how bad the experience previously was
really suitable for constellation work, and whether the person is truly in
--
I find myself more and more careful about whether or not a piece is
the right frame of mind. I am more willing to have a personal conversation,
or do a piece of personal therapy, if I feel that its not really something
thats right for a constellation. And I am more willing to stop
constellations when I can see that there just isn't movement in the
system and do something different. For instance, one constellation was a
classic 'double bind' for the son. It was clear that no matter where he
stood in relation to the parents, he was going to be made wrong. I couldn't
see resources in the constellation, and rather than try to proceed, I
stopped the constellation, and told him an Ericksonian-type of story
instead. He was disappointed, but I think I did him a better service.
with her 10 year old daughter. But as I enquired I found her husband
Another woman wanted to do a constellation about very difficult conflict
suicided and she had not told the children how he died. I thought a
conversation with her about the matter was much more important than a
constellation.
fantastic tool of the constellation process, its not always what the client
I think what I am saying is that I see that just because we have this
needs. And although sometimes its good to simply stop, I think that having
other therapeutic tools means we can perhaps offer the client another
approach.
Vinay
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