Re: [ConstellationTalk] Orders of Love revisited - bowing
- From: Thomas Bryson <tb@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx>
- To: ConstellationTalk@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
- Date: Mon, 19 Apr 2010 12:18:57 +0200
luis moreira wrote:
Hi Thomas.
I'd like to understand, better, what do you wanna say with this.
(...We unconsciously define who we
are by our relationships. That blind identification with the 'orders of
love' is the ego. ...)
What I see, are two different things.
I really don't understand Why you put the identification of ourselves by our
relationships (psy conscience/consciousness / ego), inside the "orders of
Love".
I feel this is an important point on your systemic vision.
Thanks
Dear Luis,
Thanks for your question.
I see the 'orders of love' as a shorthand description for a normal
functioning social structure - a structure whose biologic function
is the survival of the individuals and their genetic lineage. When
that task is fulfilled, there is the opportunity for going beyond
the narrow confines of only seeing the world through our traumatized
eyes.
The concept of the ego comes from the work of Freud. In his view,
the ego is the reality principle that preserves safety while
mediating the instincts of the 'Id' with the voice of the 'Super-Ego'.
The moral voice of the super-ego is the voice of the system. From the
systemic perspective, right and wrong are defined in terms of the
social system and serve to preserve this essential component of human
survival.
Each ego, or self-concept, arises within a system and is a reflection
of the system and its levels of trauma and self-awareness. The primary
ego function is to preserve the structures of the system that aid
survival. When the structures of the system become too restrictive due
to trauma, the task of the individual may be to bring presence
into the system to restore flow, to update the programming to help
survival on a deeper level. In essence, to expand the self-concept.
The ego is the organism's tool to monitor and react to threats and
opportunities for the benefit of the self and its genetic lineage.
Trauma affects and restricts how reality is interpreted. Attention
is narrowed, thinking becomes fogged, memories of events are more
fragmented. With more trauma affecting the system, the world is more
narrowly seen in terms of survival.
When a child is born, he or she is born into the field of the parents,
into the family system. The child is the essence of the system. As the
child's sense of self develops, the self-concept or ego, is a reflection
of their system. The developing ego, unconsciously interprets reality
as seen through the lens of survival of self and family.
One must first respect the instinct to survive and help the client to
feel safe. When if feels like the village is surrounded by bandits,
health, education and welfare will always be second to protecting the
village. The first step is to reduce the client's arousal and help them
to be present. When they feel safe and have resources, it is easier to
face emotions that had been overwhelming in the past. Then we can ask,
what does this person most deeply desire now?
I think that the direction systemic constellations are going, is toward
the recognition and integration of the central point of the world's
spiritual traditions. That is the recognition that in addition to our
conditioned sense of self based on survival needs, that we are
presence/love itself - the impersonal unconditioned presence
one Zen master called “The Unborn.” In Christianity that would be
referring to the eternal Soul which is beyond birth and death. We
are individuals, the essence of our systems and the essence of
presence/love itself.
What is usually overlooked is that functioning from a place of mindful
presence is good for survival in the broadest sense. When our sense of
self expands to include the unconditioned as well as that of the system
conditioned by trauma, we are more powerful. Not in the sense of power
over another, but in the sense of the power to preserve life. This is
actually what the system needs to update its programming, to bring it
back into alignment with present reality.
This view isn't about the removal, dismantling or destruction of the
ego. It is more that the confines of the ego are superseded by a more
complete view. When our trauma-laden egos realize that we are more
powerful when we are present, then the ego cooperates in its own
demotion from being the master identity to the role of honored
servant. Then the self-preservation instinct can function in its
natural way as a subordinate to our deeper desire for peace, joy,
freedom, connection and personal empowerment - for the whole earth,
not just for my clan alone.
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