I would put in a rep for the fathers trauma which generated so much humiliation.
The son can look at the rep and tell the father that he
sees the source of his pain ..... However it is not his to carry
for his father...he is the child and the father is the parent.
The son may even hand back that burden of pain and humiliation
he has been carrying for his father to him.
He could also say to his father " he was just a child and I did not
understand."
Best Regards
Harrison Snow
Sent from my iPad
On Sep 13, 2014, at 6:12 PM, "liz.sleeper@xxxxxxxxx [ConstellationTalk]"
<ConstellationTalk@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx> wrote:
At a workshop i ran yesterday, a client, after a long difficult piece of
work, was finally able to experience some small and clearly much yearned for
eye contact with the very disconnected and deoresessed representative of his
father, a man who at the age of 9 had been thrown out of home and had had to
fend for himself from that age. when it came to the point that the father
could start to see his son, (the client), the client, with tears in his eyes
reported to me that he found his fathers gaze humiliating. given humiliation
makes one contract and not take in an experience. I would be interested to
hear the groups take on what could have been done to help the client feel
something more empowering. on reflection i wonder if his father had been
given words along the lines of " it takes great courage to recognise your
souls longings, and to see you allowing this fills me with pride" i wld be
interested in the groups thoughts with love Liz
