Dear Vinay,
I admit that like you I found Tom's rant fascinating, in kind of Norman O
Brown way, if anyone remembers him. There was a kernel of poetic truth in
it, and it was amusing and lively and cleverly done. I could regard it as a
vent through which accumulated heat in the system was being released.-until
I read my own name, and Alison's. And, even though I don't know Tom and have
never met him, he used a familiar form of my name, which very few people
use. Only my father and mother and sister and one or two very old friends
have ever called me that. And he used it in a way that felt hostile, and
labeled me as Jewish, a combination that made me feel suddenly vulnerable,
and that awakened an ancient fear in me. Of being singled out. The Jew. He
also referred to me as "belonging" to Alison, which felt personally
insulting and made me angry and want to strike back. So for me it wasn't
just funny. Although I don't write in this forum very much, it made it
suddenly a lot less welcoming and safe. I support Ingala's idea of a group
who can help Chris decide when personal venting and ad hominem attacks like
this (even if they may be exciting in a liminal sort of way)-when working on
someone else's issues without their permission-are wrecking the cyberturf.
Ed Levy
_____
From: ConstellationTalk@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
[mailto:ConstellationTalk@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx] On Behalf Of Steve Vinay Gunther
Sent: Sunday, January 20, 2008 6:29 AM
To: ConstellationTalk@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Subject: Re: [ConstellationTalk] When Bert finally croaks . .
Great to read all the perspectives, and I learn something, as always
on this list.
I do have something to say, which is a different perspective.
I agree that there are destructive things which can and often do
occur on email lists. I was saying to a friend the other day how I
appreciate the constellation list as it rarely seems to happen. I
agree that it is important that there is effective moderation in
regards to such flaming type of contributions...
and...
I also see the role for the 'fool' in terms of ancient Kingly
archetypes. He (was of course a he) could say anything about the
King, make any kind of fun, even derogatary, and was excused. The
metaframe placed on that person's role was that he could not offend,
and was to be laughed at....and who knows, some of his home truths
might actually make a difference somewhere. It was a balance in the
system.
We have modern day understanding of group dynamics which includes
something similar - the 'devils advocate'.... or DeBono's Black Hat
Thinking. There will always be someone in this role. It is generally
an unpopular role (when people are not laughing), particularly with
those with a positive agenda or in power. Systemically, it is
required as part of the system for balance.
So this is how I see the offending post. It might be savage in some
ways, disrespectful perhaps. But I dont think it was completely off
the mark. It raises some shadow things perhaps we dont like to look
at or talk about. Personally, I thought it was rough, but also
contained some useful barbs and challenges amidst the biting words. I
also thought (God forbid) that some bits were funny. But I know that
humour is a very very delicate line.
So I would respond differently if I were facilitator. I would invite
some discussion as to what it stirs up, the skeletons in the closet.
Without that, it remains a somewhat shallow poke. But it can be used
to really look at ourselves in a way we might not normally in our
positivity and enthusiasm for what we are involved with.
I have been involved with a spiritual group for over 30 years. We had
such a person in our midst, who never failed to take a cynical,
somewhat humourous, and quite inappropriate line. he offended many,
and did not have a good sense of propriety. Eventually (after about
20 years) he was finally pushed right out. I understand the pushing
out, and I think we also lost something important. Perhaps it would
have been better to appoint him the official 'fool', and employ him
for his strange contribution.
Vinay Gunther
--
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Northern Rivers Gestalt Institute
15 Coleman St, Lismore,
NSW, 2480 Australia
Ph/Fax (02) 66 213 911
admin@gestalt. <mailto:admin%40gestalt.org.au> org.au
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Perceive all conflicts as patterns of energy seeking a harmonious
balance in a whole."
Dhyani Ywhoo, Etoway Cherokee
* GESTALT training in the Northern Rivers:
http://www.gestalt. ;<http://www.gestalt.org.au> org.au
* GANZ (Gestalt Australia And New Zealand):
http://www.ganz. ;<http://www.ganz.org.au> org.au
* Prout - an alternative socio-economic vision:
http://www.prout. ;<http://www.prout.org> org
* Follow your life-dream - excellent support from Barbara Sher:
http://www.barbaras ;<http://www.barbarasher.com> her.com
* Health and Healing in Cebu:
http://www.amwellne ;<http://www.amwellness.org> ss.org
* Online Gestalt course:
http://www.zurinsti ;<http://www.zurinstitute.com/gestaltcourse.html>
tute.com/gestaltcourse.html
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