There is a personal constellation story in issue 1 of the Systemic Solutions
Bulletin on adoption. Don't know if that is what you are looking for?
Barbara Morgan
-----Original Message-----
From: ConstellationTalk@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
[mailto:ConstellationTalk@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx]On Behalf Of Family Constellations
Sent: 11 September 2005 20:19
To: ConstellationTalk@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Subject: [ConstellationTalk] Adoption - Thank you
Hi all,
Thank you to everyone that responded to my request for an article on
adoption. All of the resources that were pointed, I already have, I was
specifically looking for an article as such, but thank you anyway for your
efforts and sense of community. Whilst searching I came across the
following:
"Comments on adoption
In family constellations it is very important that the therapist has no
compassion with those who were guilty. If such a mother would come to a
psychotherapist, how many psychotherapists would have pity on her. What
happens if they have pity with the mother? How is their attitude towards the
child? They have no pity on the child. Therefore in family therapy, the
therapist first of all gives a place in his heart to the person who has
suffered most. And this is the child. He looks for a solution for the child,
and he does not take away any responsibility from those who were cruel on
the child. Not that I condemn these parents. We don't know the
circumstances. But still, they were the parents and they were responsible
for the child. The truth was, that they gave away the child forever"
If I were unfamiliar with constellation work, I would find the above quite
offensive, in fact, I still have a few problems with it as I feel it is not
fully explained and does the work we do no justice. For example, most, if
not all, of the women I have worked with that have given up a child for
adoption were mere teenagers when they did so and therefore I feel that they
are deserving of compassion as for the most part, it would seem that their
parents had more to do with the decision making process than anything else.
In such cases, I would say that the grandparents of the child are the ones
that gave up their grandchild forever. Any thoughts?
Altough I agree that the child is the one that has suffered the most, does
not the mother suffer much under theses circumstances, in my view, very much
so. How can a child of 16 challnge its parents and keep a child against
their will?
I am certain that Hellinger does not mean to say "In family constellations
it is very important that the therapist has no compassion with those who
were guilty" is applied tosuch teenage girls who give up their children
under duress.
I find these statements rather strong.....
regards,
John
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