Hi Margie!
Let’s say you have a representative that doesn’t get into the role or when
you can see the role is “too heavy” for the stand-in, you can:
(1) always ask someone else for the role during the process (after checking
with the current stand-in if that’s okay; if they feel the same, they’re
more than happy and feel relieved to let it go).
(2) always ask the stand-in to “tune down” the intensity, let them imagine
they’re like a radio tuning down the volume. I very rarely do that but it
sometimes helps if the stand-in feels on the border of overwhelm (probably
because of something in their own and/or their family systems past).
In case that doesn’t work, go back to step 1 or seek what is going on,
maybe (3) it says something about the role?
Generally I agree with the gift idea, that when it sticks, it’s something
to sort out within your own theme/life, provided you want to sort it out
and in that time, and otherwise do a more extensive “de-roling” process.
There are plenty more easy and difficult ones.
Just some initial ideas for what to do in case of “emergency” during the
work.
By the way, generally speaking we’ve got to seek the boundaries up to the
point that those who bring in their question can no longer uphold their
image of the world. Some of my earlier teachers (from different
constellation schools) would say, firstly exaggerate and worsen the
situation, and when that is fully embraced by the client, you’ll see that
the constellation and the person moves onto another or toward the next
chapter. And when they don’t, they apparently need to keep on hanging in
there for a while, until they’re ready for more. Simply put, even if it
gets “out of hand” it maybe exactly what is needed mostly. So trusting that
process would be another way of dealing with “over-care” by either the
facilitator or participants.
Lastly, for me the work is about being “close enough” to have a connection
with the client while being “distant enough” to say/do what’s needed.
All the best!
Oscar
On Fri, 16 Mar 2018 at 22:06, Margie McCallum margie_mccallum@xxxxxxxxxxx
[ConstellationTalk] <ConstellationTalk@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx> wrote:
--
Thanks so much, Barbara. I feel very blessed to have this group of wise
ones to ask questions of.
Love,
Margie
Margaret McCallum
joyful living fearless dying
Care of the Soul sessions
Family Constellations facilitation
m. 0064(0)2108 324 224
t. 0064(0)9 405 3958
www.margaretmccallum.com
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On Saturday, 17 March 2018, 08:51:30 GMT+13, Barbara Morgan
theknowingfield@xxxxxxxxx [ConstellationTalk] <
ConstellationTalk@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx> wrote:
Hi Margie,
Good to re-connect with you across the miles and to hear you are deeply
involved with the constellation work!
In response to your query, I would broadly agree with much of what has
been said. At the same time, certainly in the UK, the word
re-traumatisation has been over-used and for me there is too much emphasis
on keeping people 'safe'.
I like the boundary of not working with anyone or anything you don't
personally feel able to contain. If you are afraid, I would say don't work
with the person and don't invite them to a workshop. Generally, I would say
it is hard to accompany someone to a place we haven't been to ourselves.
Over the years, I have had very few people unable to cope with what was
coming up. Once or twice such a person has chosen to leave the workshop.
In terms of representation I would take a different view to Jeffrey. For
me, every representation is a gift. If someone is left with something when
they leave a constellation and sit down then I see that as a gift for them
in their own personal journey. Of course, they can still opt to 'de-role'
if they do not wish to stay with the experience but I encourage them to
take a different viewpoint and see that in the end we are indeed all one
and are capable of holding the full range of emotions and actions presented
to us. I can't see how we can say we are working with the Field at the same
time as making this differentiation. Surely, we are all part of the same
Field when we are in a group together?
Best wishes to you
Barbara
On 15 March 2018 at 21:29, Margie McCallum margie_mccallum@xxxxxxxxxxx
[ConstellationTalk] <ConstellationTalk@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx> wrote:
Dear fellow facilitators et al.
First, thank you! I am new to the group and very glad to be part of it.
I have a group of keen people learning over the next nine months to
facilitate the family constellations work. I have been asked two questions
that I cannot answer: 1. For whom might this work be a dangerous trigger?
2. What kind of
person might be dangerous to have as a representative?
The woman who asked was particularly wondering about someone with
schizophrenia, but her question is also wider that this.
Many thanks,
Margie
--
Barbara Morgan
Family Constellations Trainer, Supervisor & Practitioner
Editor of
The Knowing Field
International Constellations Journal
www.cominghome.org.uk
www.theknowingfield.com
