Beautifully expressed Maria, many thanks to you and all for the rich
sharings.
On another note its very exciting to hear that Ed Lynch will also be
presenting as the Intensive in
Sydney, welcome Ed.
Jonine
Australasian Constellation Intensive - Sydney Australia. January 2011
Jonine Lee Gabay
Breathwork, Counselling/Coaching, Family Constellations,
Core Connection Health & Wellbeing
Level 1/762 Pacific Highway,
Gordon NSW 2072
M 0402067024
E jonine@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
W <http://www.coreconnectiontrainings.com> www.coreconnectiontrainings.com
_____
From: ConstellationTalk@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
[mailto:ConstellationTalk@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx] On Behalf Of Maria Dolenc
Sent: Friday, 20 August 2010 9:01 AM
To: ConstellationTalk@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Subject: Re: [ConstellationTalk] Health Issues for Facilitators
Hello everyone.
Thank you all for the interesting and thoughtful topics that is
allowing us to share and learn from each other.
As a facilitator myself i came across those situations often and
usually allow myself to feel and not be to much concern who's pain it
is, because at the moment its mine if its in my body.
What i want to share is my personal experience with my son last year
that its similar to this topic.
I went to his place and he was in a "bad" space . He was worried ,
sad, and depressed. It was really difficult for me to see him like
this. (He has wife and 3 small boys). All night i felt heavy and
concerned..
Went to bed and try to sleep but no sleep arrived because i could not
rest and felt incredible pain . Then all of a sudden it came to me
that if i could take his pain on myself I would. And i ask LIFE if
possible that i can take on his pain that i am very willing to carry.
It was like a miracle.. My body start to relax and feeling of
calmness, warmth and love entered my body. It was transformation of
energy. I felt real compassion for my son and what he is carrying ,
but without worry or heaviness. In the morning when we all wake up i
was present, relaxed and connected to Life in a way that i never
experienced before. Then i understood the Buddhist Tonglen
practice .. What i came to understand from my own experience is that
i need to feel the feelings first before any transformation is possible.
The experience that i had around my son is often still with me and i
dont get concerned as much as i did and respect his journey and
trust his ability to handle life . My main lesson is to surrender
to my pain deeply and not allowing intellect to take over,
translate or intellectualise it , only then the transformation is
possible..When facilitating F.C workshops i go with love, compassion
and knowledge that i will handle whatever wider field will present to
me.
All the best...Maria
On 20/08/2010, at 4:26 AM, Stephen Campbell wrote:
Hola to all,<mailto:ConstellationTalk%40yahoogroups.com>
First and foremost: THANK YOU!! Each post is a gem. Only today have
I had
the time to read them for the first time. There is so much fruit on
each
tree I will need time to savor each.
It seems to me that this topic is unspoken of in Facilitator
training. I
think that is a shame. It seems to me to be very important not only
for the
facilitator but the participants as well.
From my heart to yours...MUCHAS GRACIAS!!
I'll be writing in the days to come.
Fondly,
Stephen
On Thu, Aug 19, 2010 at 09:48, Michael Reddy
<michael@xxxxxxxxxxxxxx <mailto:michael%40reddyworks.com> > wrote:
Hi Stephen, Kay, Moira, and All,
Kay, Moira, thank you for these thoughtful posts, which seem to me to
be right on target.
I hope it is clear that when Kay says
On Aug 18, 2010, at 3:19 AM, Kay Needham wrote:
It is my observation that within esoteric and differentthat is pretty much the same thing I was alluding to when I wrote
metaphysical healing modalities
there is a collective fear that underpins many protective rituals
and cleansing
practices.
"It is important to understand that fear is a dead giveaway, the
ultimate invitation to unbalanced energies. . . . It is
ultimately the creating and tending of a sense of "safety" that makes
the difference."
Moira, I recently read Pema Chodron's THE PLACES THAT SCARE YOU,
which
talks about the same tonglen practice you mention, which is related I
think to the "Atisha's heart meditation" as described by Kay. So,
YES
in some sense to both of you--this is probably at least part of the
resolution of the problem I posed in the last paragraph of my post
(do
we heal by passing other's pain through ourselves, as some shamans
have done, or do clients need to "own" that pain themselves, as their
own fate). Thanks again for pointing the way here.
Frankly, I am still digesting the tonglen technique as I understand
it
from Chodron. It make real sense to me. At the same time, my own
issues in life have involved a kind of strong negative empathy which
tended to pull in too much of other people's pain and not really
transmute it. Instead of transmuting, this acted as a kind of "self-
damage." It left me always "innocent," but also very burdened in
life. So I go back to the notion that tonglen might be an "advanced
technique," for me anyway at least. Because I am working to find a
middle ground between too much openness (openness that was actually
my
way of trying to exit this life all in "innocence"), and a healthy
respect for myself and exactly what I am able to transmute and what
not.
Here's an image I use. As a healer, you stand at times at the edge
of
a pit, holding out your hand to someone down in the pit. In some
cases, that someone wants to climb out, and your helping hand makes
the difference. In other cases, there is enough bitterness in the
person in the pit, and/or enough resistance to leaving it--that they
will try to pull you down into it with them. Sometimes, it is good
that you be pulled down into the pit, because it is your pit too, and
you need to climb out of it either again or for the first time.
Perhaps you will do that with the other person, perhaps only on your
own. Other times, you need to let go of the hand, step back, bless
the person, and just stay out of the pit--because you don't need it
anymore, or else it's just not your time to go into it. So, calm,
protective influences are totally appropriate. And finally, perhaps,
depending on how evolved and rooted in universal love you are, you
can
simply absorb and transmute the pit, which also frees the other
person.
In this last and most evolved case, what then of the other person's
fate? I guess I regard these latter kinds of healings as gifts given
at times to help those other persons wake up to the larger realities.
Maybe they will find themselves in that pit again in a later life, so
to speak, and that earlier gift of love will inspire them to climb
out
on their own. My own metaphysical cosmology does tend to make me
think they need to own their fate somehow. Don't they need to learn
how to climb out of, and eventually transmute the pits themselves??
Love to all of you. This is a wonderful sharing on this list server.
Michael
However I also have great
respect for ritual and the sacred in preserving safe growth
environments, so
please don't misunderstand me.
Michael and a few others were questioning if carrying someone elses
pain is
relevant, or should an individual carry their own? "Can these two
perspectives
make sense together?" What carrys all of us is love and that makes
perfect
sense. The problem is awareness is also needed to discern what is
true and what
is not. Love and awareness are, in my experience able to carry and
transform
anothers pain and negativity. It just happens as a consequence.
If anyone would like a copy of Atishas heart meditation you are
welcome to
contact me.
Kind regards
Sadhana
________________________________
From: Zaquie Meredith <zaquie@xxxxxxxxxx <mailto:zaquie%40zaquie.com> >
To: ConstellationTalk@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Sent: Tue, August 17, 2010 1:55:03 PM
Subject: Re: [ConstellationTalk] Health Issues for Facilitators
Dear Stephen,
My name is Zaquie C Meredith and I am from Brazil. Hopefully we will
meet soon
in Peru as I will be travelling to Lima next September 20th to do
some
constellation work with Julio Príncipe as well as visit Machu Pichu,
my long
time dream.
I have had back pain during many years of my life so I know what you
are talking
about. But I have something to say about energy. I have studied
energy field
with B.Brennan for 4 years in the States and from our point of view
I can tell
you that, yes, we are all vulnerable when we are exposed to too many
negative
energies.
Not everybody thinks as you do. Not everybody processes like we do.
Not
everybody has the highest vibrations as we hope they do.
However, one must have a breaking point to allow this negative
energy to come
into. A vulnerable point, a "weak"point where this negative energy
finds a
ressonance and then it enters and it "fixes"there. Right in your
most vulnerable
point. Check what it is - your vulnerable point perhaps it may be
carrying
(energetically) the pain for others when they should be doing for
themselves.
The way I clear the environment and this seems to help much as we
are dealing
with many consciences present or no more present is to make an
energy circle of
protection before doing my workshops. I start the circle from the
left to the
right and I bless each chair and I bless everyone who enters into
that room and
I bless everyone who goes out of that room. I also use incense
before and after.
It only takes a few minutes and I sense this leaves the room so much
clearer at
no cost.
I also take a long hot bath after the workshops, eat some good food
and do
something that will distract me in a quiet way. Quiet way and early
night sleep.
I am a new person the next day. This has been working for me and
this is my help
to you- hope you appreciate it. If you want to know more please e-
mail me.
Looking forward to meet with you and Julio in Lima,
Zaquie C Meredith
www.zaquie.com
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