And, by the way, it is great to see so many voices weighing in on this and
other issues. I find it refreshing and interesting to hear to hear opinions
from those I know, as well as a growing number of new voices from around the
world.
So grateful to you Chris for your vision in creating this forum which has
provided us all with such thought-provoking inspiration!
all the best, sheila
Sheila Saunders, RN, LMFT
www.systemicfamilysolutions.com
PO Box 1011 Weaverville, North Carolina 28787
828-273-5015
Even If It Costs Me My Life! by Stephan Hausner; available for $33 plus
shipping - hit REPLY with BOOK in subject line.
"When we have passed a certain age, the soul of the child we were and the souls
of the dead from whom we have sprung come to lavish on us their riches and
their spells." -Marcel Proust (In Search of Lost Time)
To: constellationtalk@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
From: peacefulcentre@xxxxxxxxxxx
Date: Fri, 4 Jan 2013 04:10:05 -0500
Subject: RE: [ConstellationTalk] Powerful tool for change... so few take it
up.
Dan,
Just a quick response.
I'm not sure how someone who declines to attend a workshop could describe it
in any kind of way. My description was one of how a workshop of mine
proceeds, or how those who attend repeatedly might describe them.
Yes, it is a challenge here in the US to fill the chairs, but I don't assume
that the growth here will be like Latin America, Germany, or any other
country. I believe that Americans in general are not so much interested in
self-growth as they are in constant comfort, which is the opposite of growth.
And as constellation work really does create a palpable shift, it can be very
threatening to the comfort craved by so many in this country.
The idea that if we discover and correct the error in our way of describing
or presenting or marketing, that this work will then explode in this country,
is, I think, simplistic at best.
I would love to do just constellation work and make a living that supports
me. For now, I'll keep my day job and focus on the quality of my work,
believing that the quantity will work it's way out. I believe the student
always finds the right teacher, so keeping my focus on deepening my own
growth and skills, will attract the clients and students who want to move in
the same direction.
thanks, sheila
Sheila Saunders, RN, LMFT
www.systemicfamilysolutions.com
PO Box 1011 Weaverville, North Carolina 28787
828-273-5015
Even If It Costs Me My Life! by Stephan Hausner; available for $33 plus
shipping - hit REPLY with BOOK in subject line.
"When we have passed a certain age, the soul of the child we were and the
souls of the dead from whom we have sprung come to lavish on us their riches
and their spells." -Marcel Proust (In Search of Lost Time)
To: ConstellationTalk@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
From: danboothcohen@xxxxxxxxx
Date: Thu, 3 Jan 2013 18:34:02 -0500
Subject: RE: [ConstellationTalk] Powerful tool for change... so few take it
up.
Having started this thread with a message that some find disheartening, even
depressing, it feels worthwhile to follow-up to what was offered in
response.
I was reflecting on Meera's observation that Constellations are a powerful
tool for change and so few take it up. My intention is to initiate
discussion and exchange that encourages all of us to more effectively and
broadly apply our talents in the world. On a forum such as this, a strongly
worded statement can be taken in many ways. Sadhana wrote, "The root of
polluted protective power is in service of victims and secretly perpetrates
via misuse of power." Michael saw it as a "poorly contextualized, very
depressing statement about our work." Sheila found my description of a group
Constellation (seen through the eyes of a person who declines to attend a
workshop) misrepresentative.
I will respond specifically to a few of the posts.
Michael: 1) My assertion of 1-in-10 is anecdotal. It was first told to me by
Barry Foley of Cork, based on the ratios in Ireland, which he claimed are
representative of other English speaking countries. Maybe is it 1-in-5.
Maybe I am simply mistaken. You ask an important question: "Can a person
become competent at private constellations without doing a lot of work in
groups? Can a person become competent at private constellations without at
least practicing group constellations for a time?" My sense is what people
need to learn in a group setting is how to read the field and perceive the
hidden architecture of human relationships. This is distinct from
facilitating a group Constellation. I have some private students whom I am
training to work with individuals. That seems to be going very well.
Sheila: Your description fits how you and I see a group Constellation
workshop. What I offered was how they look to someone who declines to
attend. As wonderful as the groups are, I feel we need to acknowledge that
it is a chore to fill the chairs.
Stephen: Your account of how your practice grew in Peru underscores the
difference in the development of the work in Latin America and English
America. A decade ago, I expected the US would follow a similar arc. It has
not happened. Yes, there are pockets of vibrant success. More representative
is New York City, where more than 100 people have completed year-long
trainings or immersion programs; there will be fewer than 5 group workshops
in the coming month.
Luis: I embrace your message. You said more eloquently in Google English
what I meant to say with my native English.
Kenn: An important point. Well said.
Sheelagh: Yes, the meaning of the 1-in-10 is not that you are not capable.
It is that the format of the group workshop is exceedingly difficult.
Hellinger was working in relative obscurity until he presented at ZIST when
he was nearly 70 years old. The Germans who came to champion
Familienaufstellung were highly seasoned and accomplished professionals:
Gunthard Weber, Albrecht Mahr, Hunter Beaumont, Eva Madelung, Marianne
Franke, Stephan Hausner, etc. You write, " I can carry on the work, evolving
and reframing without discounting Hellinger and his teachings but rather
bringing them with me with the wisdom, sensitivity and intelligence that is
also available to me from others, from "the field" and from within." As Luis
says, " The shape, .... is irrelevant." What first looked disheartening, was
intended to say: Don't be disheartened. Discover your own way, your own gift
to be with the soul, the field, the ancestors, the memories of suffering,
the ocean of love, the tender hearts of your sorrowful Irish people. I meant
to encourage you and others in what you once said to me: "I can stand up on
my own."
Alison and Walter: You are creating and discovering the future of
Constellations. When someone wants a Constellation, do not feel obliged to
assemble a group; offer them the gift of the experience where they are. When
someone is burdened, in chaos or crisis, it is not necessary to offer them a
Constellation. The experience of a Constellation and the profound sense of
relief and blessing they provide can be created in a thousand different
ways.
Dan
Dan Booth Cohen, PhD
2013 US Systemic Constellations Conference, October 10-13, Seattle, WA
6th North American Systemic Constellations Intensive, July 31 - August 4,
2013, Famington, CT
www.HiddenSolution.com
781-718-7158
-----Original Message-----
From: ConstellationTalk@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
[mailto:ConstellationTalk@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx] On Behalf Of sheelagh wherity
Sent: Wednesday, January 02, 2013 8:22 AM
To: ConstellationTalk@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Subject: Re: [ConstellationTalk] Powerful tool for change... so few take it
up.
Hello to each one of you,
Firstly, I'm new to the forum. My name is Sheelagh, I was born and live in
Ireland. I'm a student of SCW, having done some training in Europe and now
America.
I have been following this thread for the past few days with interest. With
mixed emotions I have reflected on the feelings and opinions that have been
aired about SCW according to Hellinger and many other views of this Work.
One thing that stood out for me as a student was when Dan said "only 1 in
10 trainees achieves competence" on my first reading I felt disheartened and
discouraged, wondering how I could ever achieve the 1 in 10 never mind
reaching for the best I could possibility be in the service of others, an
impossible task I thought with these odds stacked against me when I haven't
even started. So, I reflected a lot over the past few days and now my view
has expanded, I see more clearly that unless I and others like me expand and
grow with the Work, without losing sight of Hellinger it will remain
unavailable to so many that could benefit. So, I now see the "what is" and
that is helpful for me because I can carry on the work, evolving and
reframing without discounting Hellinger and his teachings but rather
bringing them with me with the wisdom, sensitivity and intelligence that is
also available to me from others, from "the field" and from within.
Just one last thing I love this Work, I have never found anywhere that I
feel so at home, having trained as a Bio-dynamic Psychotherapist but never
practicing as one. I have found a sacred space in this work that humbles me
whether I'm observing in a group, representing or doing a Constellation for
one of my issues. Its always an honour and a privilege to witness and be
part of and I will always be a student of the work, I have so much to
learn...
Thank you for listening,
Warmly,
Sheelagh
On Wed, Jan 2, 2013 at 2:21 AM, Kay Needham <
familyconstellationinfo@xxxxxxxxx> wrote:
**protective power is
Dear Dan,
Thankyou for sharing the inner merging of your 10 years of paradoxical
movement. Power and the few, certainly a source of frustration for all
when bodies of power are more interested in the problem than the solution.
All missions of protection are supported by problems being advocated.
Take away the desire to protect, and the solution surfaces. Of course
one cannot feel so important here with this. The root of polluted
in service of victims and secretly perpetrates via misuse of power. TheYou say.........
integrity, self-respect and self-organizing structure of a victim is
not served by illusions of problems that need to be solved, and yet it
is the deceitful game that most politicians, priests and persons of
power continue to use to feed their own self-importance. I feel that
perhaps this is what is truly unpalatable to 95%-99% of ordinary humanity.
solution.
I could write a long
treatise about all the ways and all the reasons that Constellations
have failed to grow from the original plantings seeded by Germans.
When I look at it, nearly every component and element is problematic.
Whom are you representing here and what does a problem hide?
All reason supports the good and bad conscience, loyalty, belonging,
imitation. There is no support for solutions here. Solutions are
evident only when moving beyond conscience. Conscience manifests in
left brain antics of the masculine principles in all beings. Having a
boy-look is always discouraging and the female is needed to find the
You say..........public.
I am pointing to the many people who decline an invitation to attend
workshops or come one time and do not return.
If someone has a vested interest in protecting me I am always
suspicious, I already have one father, and he is enough for me.
You say...........I appreciate the sacred space of the group
experience, but recognize what they look like to an ordinary person:
Beyond conscience the sacred is the ordinary. However missions of
protection prevent this.
Kind regards Sadhana
________________________________
From: "Dan Booth Cohen, PhD" danboothcohen@xxxxxxxxx>
To: ConstellationTalk@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Sent: Tuesday, January 1, 2013 3:21 AM
Subject: RE: [ConstellationTalk] Powerful tool for change... so few
take it up.
I am glad that my post has started a lively discussion on this topic.
Some responses are below:
I don't want this thread to devolve into my proposing how-I-do-it in
contrast to how-others-do-it. I am advocating for others to untether
themselves from the language and format presented in Hellinger's
Love's Hidden Symmetry. It is not that those principles are mistaken;
they simply have failed to gain sufficient traction among the general
available.
Lyle: The core of my practice are individual sessions by telephone and
Skype. I lead group workshops, but they cannot provide a sustainable
income.
I am not a proponent of tabletop Constellations using figurines.
Bill and Ed: Anyone who has a thriving, growing practice that relies
on Family Constellations as articulated in Love's Hidden Symmetry has
my congratulations. For each of you is succeeding, there are many more
who are torn between their enthusiasm for the work and the difficulty
of establishing a sustainable practice.
Michael: Your re-articulation of the principles of Constellations in
Health, Happiness and Family Constellations and your innovation of the
Home Alter Constellation are exactly the types of creative responses I
am advocating.
Hania and Michael: It is self-evident that those of us who stand as
representatives in Constellations or attend multiple group workshops
are not put off by the experience. I am not addressing the experience
of people who attend workshops; I am pointing to the many people who
decline an invitation to attend workshops or come one time and do not
return. I am not upending the Orders of Love. My point is that between
all of us they have been explained to a football stadium's number of
people. Only a small handful of those choose to experience the
Constellation process. They are nonsensical like trigonometry. Not
wrong, incomprehensible to an ordinary person.
Deborah: "Constellation work is a new paradigm within our societies,
it's far better at answering some of the oldest and deepest questions
of human life.." I absolutely agree. We need to make them more widely
person:
Leslie: I am convinced re-framing is the key to all healing. I
absolutely agree. Start there. Adapt what you know about
Constellations and how you use them in the service of re-framing, of
healing. I would love to explore this with you and others in more
depth. You have the talent, skill, sensitivity and intelligence. The
structured format of group Constellations is both a support and an
obstacle.
I assert that it is not necessary to confine the availability of
Constellations only to those who are willing experience them as
personal therapy in group setting. I appreciate the sacred space of
the group experience, but recognize what they look like to an ordinary
is"
You sit with a group of people you do not know. At the facilitator's
direction, you come out of your chair and sit at the head of the
circle. In a few sentences, you disclose the worst circumstance of
your life, then select some of these strangers to represents family
members set in a spontaneous alignment. Then you watch silently as
those strangers exhibit emotions and physical sensations that are
interpreted by the facilitator as indications that a relative from a
previous generation was excluded from the family in violation of the
Orders of Love thereby creating a systemic entanglement which is the
main driver of the current issue. If you had an abortion, everyone
will know. If your grandfather was an incest perpetrator or your
grandmother lied about who got her pregnant, the Constellation will
reveal it. Once all the dead bodies are arrayed on the floor, the
facilitator puts the family into order in accordance with the Orders
of Love. Then you are taken from your chair and exchanged for your
representative. You incant the healing sentences of acceptance to "what
and bow to your mother and father. Once back to your chair, you areproblematic.
instructed not to talk about the experience for a minimum of 3 days.
After which, the issue will get lighter or go away entirely.
To facilitate these Constellations is exceedingly difficult. Only
about 1 in
10 trainees achieves competence. Organizing groups together takes
great effort. Managing the complexity of the group experience is
There are pockets of success out there. However, the great majority ofup.
those who train become discouraged by the obstacles and impediments.
Hania: "What is your concept of CF then? Something opposite to
"nonsensical"
and "counter-intuitive" concept of Orders of Love - or something
evolving from the foundation?" The Constellations I am doing are built
on the foundation of Hellinger's observations and teachings. My
innovations are to re-language the descriptions and reshape the
format. Like you, it's an evolution, but not erasing basic origins of
understanding systemic dynamics.
Dan
From: mailto:ConstellationTalk%40yahoogroups.com
[mailto:mailto:ConstellationTalk%40yahoogroups.com] On Behalf Of lyle ;
hamer
Sent: Saturday, December 29, 2012 2:42 PM
To: mailto:ConstellationTalk%40yahoogroups.com
Subject: Re: [ConstellationTalk] Powerful tool for change... so few
take it up.
Dan,
I live on a small island and your workshop comments are only
emphasized in a small community. You say "Starting in 2008, I stopped
organizing group workshops. This is when my practice began to grow."
Could you please expand on that? What did you do, and how does it look
now?
Lyle Hamer
Pender Island
----- Original Message -----
From: Dan Booth Cohen, PhD
To: mailto:ConstellationTalk%40yahoogroups.com
Sent: Saturday, December 29, 2012 11:13 AM
Subject: [ConstellationTalk] Powerful tool for change... so few take it
grow.
Dear Meera -
It has been 10 years since I completed my Constellation facilitation
training. The paradox between how powerful Constellations are as tool
for change and how few people choose to experience them has been a
constant throughout. At the beginning, like many new facilitators, I
rented a workspace and promoted workshops in my community. I pursued
this for about
5
years. While the Constellations were consistently powerful and
beneficial, the workshops did not grow in size or popularity. A
once-a-month circle for
5 people does not a professional practice make. Starting in 2008, I
stopped organizing group workshops. This is when my practice began to
pay for a "professional"
As 2012 closes, I can say with confidence that a primary reason there
are insufficient people to participate in Constellations in English
speaking countries is that the form and format of Family
Constellations are unpalatable to 95-99% of the general population. I
could write a long treatise about all the ways and all the reasons
that Constellations have failed to grow from the original plantings
seeded by Germans. When I look at it, nearly every component and
element is problematic.
Here is a short and incomplete list:
. The classic Family Constellation is extremely difficult to
facilitate with mastery or even high competence.
. Very few people want to reveal their hidden family secrets in front
of a group of strangers.
. Very few people want to spend a day standing in the field of other
people's miseries, especially to represent the worst elements of it, e.g.
stand as someone's murderous grandfather in one Constellation, then as
another person's brain tumor.
. The answers to the question "What is a Family Constellation?"
derived from Love's Hidden Symmetry are incomprehensible to all but a
very few.
. The Orders of Love are counter-intuitive and nonsensical.
. The terminology translated from German tramples the English
language.
I could go on at length. Trust me, I have spent 10 years confronting
these obstacles and more. To summarize: the format is extremely
difficult for the facilitator. Hardly anyone wants to participate in a
group workshop. The explanations either make no sense or chase people
away. Trainings have low participation because few people can afford to
training that does not hold potential for creating future income.
The other side of this paradox is that having freed myself from these
constraints, I am doing many more Constellations and they continue to
take me into more potent realms of healing and understanding. My
appreciation of Constellations has never been greater.
Dan
Dan Booth Cohen, PhD
http://www.usconstellations.com/> www.USConstellations.com
http://www.hiddensolution.com/> www.HiddenSolution.com
781-718-7158
._,___
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
------------------------------------
Yahoo! Groups Links
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
------------------------------------
Yahoo! Groups Links
