Dear Dan,
Thankyou for sharing the inner merging of your 10 years of paradoxical
movement. Power and the few, certainly a source of frustration for all when
bodies of power are more interested in the problem than the solution. All
missions of protection are supported by problems being advocated. Take away the
desire to protect, and the solution surfaces. Of course one cannot feel so
important here with this. The root of polluted protective power is in service
of victims and secretly perpetrates via misuse of power. The integrity,
self-respect and self-organizing structure of a victim is not served by
illusions of problems that need to be solved, and yet it is the deceitful game
that most politicians, priests and persons of power continue to use to feed
their own self-importance. I feel that perhaps this is what is truly
unpalatable to 95%-99% of ordinary humanity. You say.........
I could write a long
treatise about all the ways and all the reasons that Constellations have
failed to grow from the original plantings seeded by Germans. When I look at
it, nearly every component and element is problematic.
Whom are you representing here and what does a problem hide?
All reason supports the good and bad conscience, loyalty, belonging, imitation.
There is no support for solutions here. Solutions are evident only when moving
beyond conscience. Conscience manifests in left brain antics of the masculine
principles in all beings. Having a boy-look is always discouraging and the
female is needed to find the solution.
You say..........
I am pointing to the many people who decline an invitation
to attend workshops or come one time and do not return.
If someone has a vested interest in protecting me I am always suspicious, I
already have one father, and he is enough for me.
You say...........I appreciate the sacred space of the group
experience, but recognize what they look like to an ordinary person:
Beyond conscience the sacred is the ordinary. However missions of protection
prevent this.
Kind regards Sadhana
________________________________
From: "Dan Booth Cohen, PhD" <danboothcohen@xxxxxxxxx>
To: ConstellationTalk@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Sent: Tuesday, January 1, 2013 3:21 AM
Subject: RE: [ConstellationTalk] Powerful tool for change... so few take it up.
I am glad that my post has started a lively discussion on this topic. Some
responses are below:
I don't want this thread to devolve into my proposing how-I-do-it in
contrast to how-others-do-it. I am advocating for others to untether
themselves from the language and format presented in Hellinger's Love's
Hidden Symmetry. It is not that those principles are mistaken; they simply
have failed to gain sufficient traction among the general public.
Lyle: The core of my practice are individual sessions by telephone and
Skype. I lead group workshops, but they cannot provide a sustainable income.
I am not a proponent of tabletop Constellations using figurines.
Bill and Ed: Anyone who has a thriving, growing practice that relies on
Family Constellations as articulated in Love's Hidden Symmetry has my
congratulations. For each of you is succeeding, there are many more who are
torn between their enthusiasm for the work and the difficulty of
establishing a sustainable practice.
Michael: Your re-articulation of the principles of Constellations in Health,
Happiness and Family Constellations and your innovation of the Home Alter
Constellation are exactly the types of creative responses I am advocating.
Hania and Michael: It is self-evident that those of us who stand as
representatives in Constellations or attend multiple group workshops are not
put off by the experience. I am not addressing the experience of people who
attend workshops; I am pointing to the many people who decline an invitation
to attend workshops or come one time and do not return. I am not upending
the Orders of Love. My point is that between all of us they have been
explained to a football stadium's number of people. Only a small handful of
those choose to experience the Constellation process. They are nonsensical
like trigonometry. Not wrong, incomprehensible to an ordinary person.
Deborah: "Constellation work is a new paradigm within our societies, it's
far better at answering some of the oldest and deepest questions of human
life.." I absolutely agree. We need to make them more widely available.
Leslie: I am convinced re-framing is the key to all healing. I absolutely
agree. Start there. Adapt what you know about Constellations and how you use
them in the service of re-framing, of healing. I would love to explore this
with you and others in more depth. You have the talent, skill, sensitivity
and intelligence. The structured format of group Constellations is both a
support and an obstacle.
I assert that it is not necessary to confine the availability of
Constellations only to those who are willing experience them as personal
therapy in group setting. I appreciate the sacred space of the group
experience, but recognize what they look like to an ordinary person:
You sit with a group of people you do not know. At the facilitator's
direction, you come out of your chair and sit at the head of the circle. In
a few sentences, you disclose the worst circumstance of your life, then
select some of these strangers to represents family members set in a
spontaneous alignment. Then you watch silently as those strangers exhibit
emotions and physical sensations that are interpreted by the facilitator as
indications that a relative from a previous generation was excluded from the
family in violation of the Orders of Love thereby creating a systemic
entanglement which is the main driver of the current issue. If you had an
abortion, everyone will know. If your grandfather was an incest perpetrator
or your grandmother lied about who got her pregnant, the Constellation will
reveal it. Once all the dead bodies are arrayed on the floor, the
facilitator puts the family into order in accordance with the Orders of
Love. Then you are taken from your chair and exchanged for your
representative. You incant the healing sentences of acceptance to "what is"
and bow to your mother and father. Once back to your chair, you are
instructed not to talk about the experience for a minimum of 3 days. After
which, the issue will get lighter or go away entirely.
To facilitate these Constellations is exceedingly difficult. Only about 1 in
10 trainees achieves competence. Organizing groups together takes great
effort. Managing the complexity of the group experience is problematic.
There are pockets of success out there. However, the great majority of those
who train become discouraged by the obstacles and impediments.
Hania: "What is your concept of CF then? Something opposite to "nonsensical"
and "counter-intuitive" concept of Orders of Love - or something evolving
from the foundation?" The Constellations I am doing are built on the
foundation of Hellinger's observations and teachings. My innovations are to
re-language the descriptions and reshape the format. Like you, it's an
evolution, but not erasing basic origins of understanding systemic dynamics.
Dan
From: mailto:ConstellationTalk%40yahoogroups.com
[mailto:mailto:ConstellationTalk%40yahoogroups.com] On Behalf Of lyle hamer
Sent: Saturday, December 29, 2012 2:42 PM
To: mailto:ConstellationTalk%40yahoogroups.com
Subject: Re: [ConstellationTalk] Powerful tool for change... so few take it
up.
Dan,
I live on a small island and your workshop comments are only emphasized in a
small community. You say "Starting in 2008, I stopped organizing group
workshops. This is when my practice began to grow." Could you please expand
on that? What did you do, and how does it look now?
Lyle Hamer
Pender Island
----- Original Message -----
From: Dan Booth Cohen, PhD
To: mailto:ConstellationTalk%40yahoogroups.com
<mailto:ConstellationTalk%40yahoogroups.com>
Sent: Saturday, December 29, 2012 11:13 AM
Subject: [ConstellationTalk] Powerful tool for change... so few take it up.
Dear Meera -
It has been 10 years since I completed my Constellation facilitation
training. The paradox between how powerful Constellations are as tool for
change and how few people choose to experience them has been a constant
throughout. At the beginning, like many new facilitators, I rented a
workspace and promoted workshops in my community. I pursued this for about 5
years. While the Constellations were consistently powerful and beneficial,
the workshops did not grow in size or popularity. A once-a-month circle for
5 people does not a professional practice make. Starting in 2008, I stopped
organizing group workshops. This is when my practice began to grow.
As 2012 closes, I can say with confidence that a primary reason there are
insufficient people to participate in Constellations in English speaking
countries is that the form and format of Family Constellations are
unpalatable to 95-99% of the general population. I could write a long
treatise about all the ways and all the reasons that Constellations have
failed to grow from the original plantings seeded by Germans. When I look at
it, nearly every component and element is problematic.
Here is a short and incomplete list:
. The classic Family Constellation is extremely difficult to
facilitate with mastery or even high competence.
. Very few people want to reveal their hidden family secrets in front
of a group of strangers.
. Very few people want to spend a day standing in the field of other
people's miseries, especially to represent the worst elements of it, e.g.
stand as someone's murderous grandfather in one Constellation, then as
another person's brain tumor.
. The answers to the question "What is a Family Constellation?"
derived from Love's Hidden Symmetry are incomprehensible to all but a very
few.
. The Orders of Love are counter-intuitive and nonsensical.
. The terminology translated from German tramples the English
language.
I could go on at length. Trust me, I have spent 10 years confronting these
obstacles and more. To summarize: the format is extremely difficult for the
facilitator. Hardly anyone wants to participate in a group workshop. The
explanations either make no sense or chase people away. Trainings have low
participation because few people can afford to pay for a "professional"
training that does not hold potential for creating future income.
The other side of this paradox is that having freed myself from these
constraints, I am doing many more Constellations and they continue to take
me into more potent realms of healing and understanding. My appreciation of
Constellations has never been greater.
Dan
Dan Booth Cohen, PhD
<http://www.usconstellations.com/> www.USConstellations.com
<http://www.hiddensolution.com/> www.HiddenSolution.com
781-718-7158
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