thanks Michael - for pointing out the obvious generalisations and lack of
definition in Dan's statement.
Dear Dan - please define what do you mean by "The Orders of Love are
counter-intuitive and nonsensical" and your other fundamental statements
about FC.
Your statement sounds like you are turning upside down what is a foundation
for the concept of Constellations Work. Orders of Love were discovered,
tested and experienced/proven to work, and that is a reason we all were
fascinated by Hellinger findings.
His original concept evolves all the time - in his work and in many other
facilitators' continuous effort. But evolving doesn't proof "nonsensical".
That's an absurd for me.
What is your concept of CF then? Something opposite to "nonsensical" and
"counter-intuitive" concept of Orders of Love - or something evolving from
the foundation?
I agree that presenting to people a concept of working experientally and
phenomenologically is very challenging and is questioning us as
facilitators - who we are, and what we present, how deeply this concept of
Systemic constellations seats in us.
And off course - as someone pointed kindly - there is new paradigm, like
Newtonian physics was challenged by Quantum physics. Unconscious loyalties
and other hidden dynamics are so much in opposition to what we want to
believe about our families and relationships. Murderous dynamics are
counter-intuitive for sure. What might be intuitive perhaps for many people
exposed to FC - would be exactly to resist to revealed hidden dynamics.
And as Bert said many times - that method is not for everybody, and not for
every issue. Touching matters of Life and Death is very scary. And so
frightening to our present narcissistic culture.
I'm so surprised by your statement about participants having a misery duty
representing other people! Being exposed to this work for 13 years, I never
felt bored/miserable/disappointed being representative.
I'd say - totally opposite! And I've heard so many people expressing - with
tears - feelings of an honour and humanity experience in such workshops. My
personal development went (and still goes) through invaluable experiences
of participating, representing and facilitating.
First, when I read your statement, it sounded so shallow that my thought
was - is not really worth of responding.
But I've decided to respond as I feel responsible for my attitudes in such
important matters. It's easier to stay away and be silent.
And - to briefly point my current position in the concept of FC - I've been
practicing and developing the evolved way of FC: Spirit-Mind movement.
It's evolution but not erasing basic origins of understanding systemic
dynamics. That is what I want to underline.
The Earth goes around the Sun - no matter what we feel about it, and how
counter-intuitive it might be.
I'd love to develop more reflections but right now we are going to
celebrate New Year Eve in Australia.
I hope to read in New Year more deep reflections about where we are going
with FC, and to share my other points soon.
Hey All - have a great New Year!!!!
With respect and love to All
Hania Gorski, M.Psych.*, *Melbourne
***The world, Ive come to think, is like the surface of a frozen lake. We
walk along, we slip, we try to keep our balance and not to fall. One day,
theres a crack, and so we learn that underneath us is an unimaginable
depth. *James Joyce **
On 31 December 2012 01:46, Michael Reddy <michael@xxxxxxxxxxxxxx> wrote:
Dear Dan,
While there are some important partial truths in the positions you take
here, I don't think your letter presents a balanced perspective. There are
other sides to the story which are not given enough weight in your summary.
While I too find group workshops the hardest part of my practice to keep
going, they are also one of the more rewarding and uplifting parts. How
objective is it to generalize so strongly from your personal experience to
"all English speaking countries," and all facilitators in them?
I too could write a treatise in friendly response to you, but will have to
be content with a few points.
. Very few people want to reveal their hidden family secrets in frontBy the time we do the first constellation, the people in my workshops are
of a group of strangers.
. Very few people want to spend a day standing in the field of other
people's miseries, especially to represent the worst elements of it, e.g.
stand as someone's murderous grandfather in one Constellation, then as
another person's brain tumor.
already not "a group of strangers." That bond grows deeper during the time
together. That opening to one another is profound and one of the aspects
of the group work that I know touches people in a strong, positive way.
They are not alone in their difficulties--they can give and receive
powerful help to one another. This is a life-changing experience for many
North Americans in its own right. I try to get my private clients often
into workshops because of the lift it brings to what they work on alone.
Yes it is 20 years of experience focalizing Native American style healing
circles that allows me to get the group quickly into this kind of safety
and openness. But this not something that cannot be taught. And I know
I'm not the only one who has figured out ways to do this. This social
bonding around family healing is way too needed and way to important to
simply abandon as impossible in English.
. The answers to the question "What is a Family Constellation?"very
derived from Love's Hidden Symmetry are incomprehensible to all but a
few.
. The Orders of Love are counter-intuitive and nonsensical.
. The terminology translated from German tramples the English
language.
I seem to remember spending two years writing a book (HEALTH, HAPPINESS, &
FAMILY CONSTELLATIONS) which deals directly with all three of these points.
Family constellations are explained in depth from a perspective very
different from LOVE'S HIDDEN SYMMETRY. Part of the value of constellation
work is that it can be connected to other ways of viewing the world in
addition to Bert's. I dealt explicity with a major translation problem
coming from German to English. And I restated the entire "orders of love"
thing without ever using the word "conscience" in terms of a central
trade-off in families between the need to include and the need to retain
harmony.
You yourself in the Foreword you wrote, and Ed Lynch and others in
endorsements of the book seem to have gone on record saying these different
perspectives are valuable. Why not give these ideas a chance to open the
minds and hearts of native English speakers? Instead, you conclude
explanations either make no sense or chase people away.I'm sorry, but there seems to be a disconnect here.
Trainings have low
participation because few people can afford to pay for a "professional"
training that does not hold potential for creating future income.
As to this aspect, not all of us are sitting on our hands and doing
nothing about it. Beginning at the 2011 SF conference, I organized and ran
a free "constellation practice building" Mastermind Group during 2012.
There were 40 or so North American facilitators who became involved in
this, many very well known. From this experience, I have isolated some of
the main factors holding back business growth among North American
facilitators, and am teaching teleclasses now that impart this knowledge
and use constellations to help facilitators get their practices growing. I
see now that someone out West is starting to a similar "how to."
. The classic Family Constellation is extremely difficult to
facilitate with mastery or even high competence.
I can't go into this aspect here, but I think this statement needs to be
far more nuanced. I'm not yet training people to do group work, but am
teaching "Home Altar Constellations" now regularly. I see the problems in
teaching people to do constellations, but I don't yet want to attribute
such a high degree of difficulty to the process. Discussing this would
take us back to recent thread on "Entry Gates."
Finally, I would also want to question the way you lump different
geographic areas into your summary. Is the situation in England really the
same as in the US and Canada? Are Boulder Colorado and the Bay Area in
California the same as Boston (where you are) and Philadelphis (where I am)?
Sincerely,
Michael
On Dec 29, 2012, at 2:13 PM, Dan Booth Cohen, PhD wrote:
Dear Meera -about 5
It has been 10 years since I completed my Constellation facilitation
training. The paradox between how powerful Constellations are as tool for
change and how few people choose to experience them has been a constant
throughout. At the beginning, like many new facilitators, I rented a
workspace and promoted workshops in my community. I pursued this for
years. While the Constellations were consistently powerful andbeneficial,
the workshops did not grow in size or popularity. A once-a-month circlefor
5 people does not a professional practice make. Starting in 2008, Istopped
organizing group workshops. This is when my practice began to grow.look at
As 2012 closes, I can say with confidence that a primary reason there are
insufficient people to participate in Constellations in English speaking
countries is that the form and format of Family Constellations are
unpalatable to 95-99% of the general population. I could write a long
treatise about all the ways and all the reasons that Constellations have
failed to grow from the original plantings seeded by Germans. When I
it, nearly every component and element is problematic.very
Here is a short and incomplete list:
. The classic Family Constellation is extremely difficult to
facilitate with mastery or even high competence.
. Very few people want to reveal their hidden family secrets in front
of a group of strangers.
. Very few people want to spend a day standing in the field of other
people's miseries, especially to represent the worst elements of it, e.g.
stand as someone's murderous grandfather in one Constellation, then as
another person's brain tumor.
. The answers to the question "What is a Family Constellation?"
derived from Love's Hidden Symmetry are incomprehensible to all but a
few.these
. The Orders of Love are counter-intuitive and nonsensical.
. The terminology translated from German tramples the English
language.
I could go on at length. Trust me, I have spent 10 years confronting
obstacles and more. To summarize: the format is extremely difficult forthe
facilitator. Hardly anyone wants to participate in a group workshop. Thelow
explanations either make no sense or chase people away. Trainings have
participation because few people can afford to pay for a "professional"take
training that does not hold potential for creating future income.
The other side of this paradox is that having freed myself from these
constraints, I am doing many more Constellations and they continue to
me into more potent realms of healing and understanding. My appreciationof
Constellations has never been greater.more I
Dan
Dan Booth Cohen, PhD
<http://www.usconstellations.com/> www.USConstellations.com
<http://www.hiddensolution.com/> www.HiddenSolution.com
781-718-7158
From: ConstellationTalk@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
[mailto:ConstellationTalk@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx] On Behalf Of Meera Finnigan
Sent: Friday, December 28, 2012 7:07 PM
To: ConstellationTalk@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Subject: [ConstellationTalk] Re: Criticizing the United States
Dear Dan and all,
..
The more I experience it and read of Systemic Constellation work, the
am convinced that it is a powerful tool for change. In WesternAustralia, I
can see though, that it is a challenge to keep offering the work when sofew
take it up.seem to
I have been trying to undergo training in Perth but so far there are
insufficient people to participate. Belief in the work and endurance
be the way some practitioners manage to keep going.
Best wishes for 2013 to all.
Meera
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Michael Reddy, PhD, CPC, ELI-MP
michael@xxxxxxxxxxxxxx
610 469 7588
www.reddyworks.com
Holistic Health & Happiness
DIAL IN TO OUR FREE, WEEKLY, QUESTION & ANSWER
TELECONFERENCE--THE CONSTELLATION CALL
Q&A on Family Constellations and Coaching
Tuesdays 8-8:45 PM EST
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