Dear list members
Children born of donated gametes (egg and/or sperm) are 'severed' from part
or all of their ancestral lineage. They may suffer feelings of loss of
connection to their own lineage by this act of deliberate 'creation', The
soul connection to their ancestry - their biological fathers and/or mothers
remains however (irrespective of whether the sperm or egg donors have any
contact or whether or not the child knows of its genealogical origins) - we
all are a continuation of our ancestors. This soul connection to the
ancestors may not be honoured or even acknowledged by the social parent(s),
thus potentially very harmful for all - not just the child.
Never ever underestimate the connection of ancestry, never dismiss its
importance, do not be surprised that in a constellation "both the biological
father and the boy were very attracted to each other" - there is nothing
surprising about this at all. (Just look at the 50+ years of adoption
research and now sperm donor children tracing and finding their biological
fathers).
There are levels of complexity that are simply not acknowledged by a society
where children have become 'commodities' and it seems 'simple' to just use
donated gametes 'routinely'.
Judith
Author/Thesis : Counselling Donor Offspring - An exploration of issues and
implications for the Profession
-----Original Message-----
From: Otteline van Zuilekom-Lamet [mailto:pno@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx] ;
Sent: Saturday, 29 January 2005 04:41
To: ConstellationTalk@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Subject: Re: [ConstellationTalk] Single mothers
Dear Helena,
Just recently we facilitated a constellation where a woman was very
concerned about her son (in his teens as far as I remember) who's father was
an anonymous sperm donor, as she and her husband were not able to have
children. The boy knew this from early age on. As soon as the constellation
was set up and the biological father was placed into the constellation both
the biological father and the boy were very attracted to each other and - to
our great surprise - there was a huge love on both sides. We stopped the
constellation where the 3 men (father, biol. father and the son) were
standing close together. We do not know how it went on with the boy in his
life from there on.
We were surprised as we had earlier experiences, where 2 women had a son
from an anonymous sperm donor, and in this constellation a solution for the
boy was to go to a male in the family of his mother for malesupport. His
biological father was important for the boy, but the father uninterested and
not available in the constellation. In this case the biological mother was
also very concerned about her son. May be the mothers carried different
images of the donor in their souls? Who will tell for sure?
Anyway, we stopped having theories around this issue, except to be very
carefull and think twice if you go for a sperm donor at all.
Hope this will be of some help for you.
Otteline and Peter.
Op 28-jan-05 om 7:21 heeft Helena Sprake het volgende geschreven:
Does anyone have any experience or insights into a woman having a baby
through a sperm bank?
Effect on her, the father/donor and the baby's soul.
How can the child have the father in the soul even though he is not present
in her life.
Thanks - Helena Sprake
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Peter en Otteline van Zuilekom-Lamet
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Nederland
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