Thank you, Francesa, for this beautiful story. Much is incorrect in
western academic terms - and I intend the play on words.
And I am personally grateful for your story now and for your comments
about story and trauma. My mother is dying, and I am finding it helpful
to be very clear about what has been story and what has been truth in
our relationship - and to be reminded that the deepest truth is love.
Constellation work is one of the ways I have learned to discern the
layers in the stories we humans tell - stories about difficulty and
about trauma and about heartbreak - and to pay attention to the deepest
layers, which are always stories about love and about connection.
Deborah Frangquist
francescamasonboring wrote:
Thank you Cristina, Dan & others for encouraging the most natural resolution to an infant's cry. I respect the other suggestions as well & have seen positive effects of both cranial-sacral and Bach flower remedies with infants.
Encouraged by how supportive the contributors are in this conversation and how brave people are about sharing what they have personally seen and experienced or learned it seems a good time to be open.
The topic of birth trauma, and the re-introduction of breast feeding into western society has reminded me of a story. First, I will acknowledge that the perspective I am about to share may be incorrect in western academic terms. But, it is another way that some people see the world.
At times I am fortunate to speak with Native Elders and consider them to be my most available teachers, although I have been fortunate to learn from many teachers, (no small number involved in this Chat). I spoke with one Elder regarding birth trauma and she was so intrigued that she took the discussion to a Native Senior Center. In an informal discussion they determined that there had never been birth trauma in Indian country as far as they knew because for Native people the way that you are born and the way that you die...are perfect. Both are gifts from the Creator. (She reported her conclusive findings to me. I have always loved the way that Elders speak empirically without reference to text. "It is just so.")
Now, I will share a true story: I once heard a little girl approaching a Native Elder at a gathering about her own "birth trauma". The Elder was sitting under a tree, as they often do- just to be available, and I was within ear shot. The Elder told her, "Oh, yes. I remember when you were born. I knew your Mother since she was born.
When you were born, Death came. And, Death wanted to take you and your Mama both. And your Mama argued with Death. And she said to Death, "You should let us stay here." Your Mom argued and she told Death, "I don't think you should take my little girl now. My little girl will do good things in this world, and I will tell people that it is because you let her stay. And, if you let me stay, I will take good care of this little girl who will do good things and I will let people know that you did something for the world when you let us stay on the Earth."
The Elder told the little girl, "Your Mom argued with Death for a long time, with all her strength, and she won the argument!" "And that is why you are here today. And sometime, when you grow up and have a husband, you will have to be kind, because when you were being born you heard all of this argument, and you learned how your Mama won the argument with Death. So, your husband will have a very hard time winning an argument with you. You might have to be kind and sometimes let him win."
The little girl left the Elder and went to play with the other children, (no doubt wanting to share her story) really proud that she was alive and knowing that there had been an agreement that she would make something of her life.
I know it terms of Western Psychology this may be wrong at many levels. But it has had me wonder at times, how much of the trauma is the story with which we define the trauma- how much is the trauma sustained by family & cultural propaganda? (i.e.: The Doctor was a butcher!..."You almost killed your mother!"..."My mother was completely unprepared for my birth"...."I was not a wished for child"...) Where is the element of community/destiny in the story? Thank you for helping me to remember.
All My Relations,
Francesca
Yahoo! Groups Links
