How beautiful-Thank you Sheila
Love Julie
----- Original Message -----
From: sheila saunders
To: constellationtalk@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Sent: Saturday, January 12, 2008 4:26 PM
Subject: RE: [ConstellationTalk] The Story of birth trauma
Julie and all, What a lovely story! I just read that the Balinese do not let
their children touch the ground for the 1st 6 months of their lives, because
newborns are considered to be gods sent from heaven; so they are carried for
the first 6 months, revered as minor deities. At 6 months old, a big ceremony
is held and the child's feet are allowed to touch the earth at last, and the
child is welcomed into the human race; they wet the soles of their feet and
their footprints orient them on the grid and establish who they are by
establishing where they are. Thanks so much for re-telling this story. It is a
remarkable one! all the best, sheila
Illness and Soul with Stephan Hausner Feb. 5-6 in Asheville, NC
Sheila Saunders, RN, LMFT
www.systemicfamilysolutions.com
PO Box 1011 Weaverville, North Carolina 28787
828-273-5015
What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters
compared to what lies within us.
Ralph Waldo Emerson
To: ConstellationTalk@yahoogroups.comFrom: j.toms2@ntlworld.comDate: Fri, 11
Jan 2008 13:00:53 +0000Subject: Re: [ConstellationTalk] The Story of birth
trauma
What a beautiful story, Thank you.It reminds me of something that happened
after my first child was born when I was 19 years old.My son was born with a
physical disability and we were surrounded by friends and family who were
shocked and upset by his condition. Hardly anyone congratulated me and my
husband all except one extraordinary individual who was an elder from our
community. She came to visit us in hospital and literally knelt on her knees
before our son, (like one of the 3 kings she brought a gift). She told us that
we had been blessed with a very beautiful child who had a very special fate.
She said that he had taken this on because others could not. When she held his
little twisted feet in her hands she cried and said his feet were the feet of
angels, 'they do not want to touch the earth.'From that moment on all was well.
It was a picture that etched its way into our souls.It's been really lovely for
me to retell this storyThank youJulie Toms-ArbelOriginal Message ----- From:
Barbara Morgan To: ConstellationTalk@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Sent: Friday, January 11,
2008 12:06 AMSubject: Re: [ConstellationTalk] The Story of birth traumaA
beautiful story, thank you Francesca and a strong reminder that it isn'twhat
happens to us that matters but how we make meaning of it. I don't thinkI
over-generalise when I say that in the West there is a lot of fear aroundthe
process of birth and death and it is hard not to get caught up in
that,particularly in a hospital environment.I was fortunate that both of my
children were born with ease and, unlikemany people I've talked to, I recall
both those experiences with great joyand satisfaction but I also remember very
clearly when my daughter got foodpoisoning at the age of around 18 months and
her life was in danger. I wasfull of fear - grace and acceptance were both a
long way off. Maybe now, 26years on, with many more beautiful experiences of
both birth and death todraw on, I would find grace in such a siuation. I don't
know. I am to be agrandmother in June for the first time. I sure hope
so.BarbaraOn Jan 9, 2008 7:55 PM, francescamasonboring <sboring@xxxxxxxx>
wrote:> Thank you Cristina, Dan & others for encouraging the most natural>
resolution to an infant's cry. I respect the other suggestions as> well & have
seen positive effects of both cranial-sacral and Bach> flower remedies with
infants.>> Encouraged by how supportive the contributors are in this>
conversation and how brave people are about sharing what they have> personally
seen and experienced or learned it seems a good time to be> open.>> The topic
of birth trauma, and the re-introduction of breast feeding> into western
society has reminded me of a story. First, I will> acknowledge that the
perspective I am about to share may be incorrect> in western academic terms.
But, it is another way that some people> see the world.>> At times Iam
fortunate to speak with Native Elders and consider them> to be my most
available teachers, although I have been fortunate to> learn from many
teachers, (no small number involved in this Chat). I> spoke with one Elder
regarding birth trauma and she was so intrigued> that she took the discussion
to a Native Senior Center. In an> informal discussion they determined that
there had never been birth> trauma in Indian country as far as they knew
because for Native> people the way that you are born and the way that you
die...are> perfect. Both are gifts from the Creator. (She reported her>
conclusive findings to me. I have always loved the way that Elders> speak
empirically without reference to text. "It is just so.")>> Now, I will share a
true story: I once heard a little girl> approaching a Native Elder at a
gathering about her own "birth> trauma". The Elder was sitting under a tree, as
they often do- just> to be available, and I was within ear sot. The Elder told
her, "Oh,> yes. I remember when you were born. I knew your Mother since she>
was born.>> When you were born, Death came. And, Death wanted to take you and>
your Mama both. And your Mama argued with Death. And she said to> Death, "You
should let us stay here." Your Mom argued and she told> Death, "I don't think
you should take my little girl now. My little> girl will do good things in this
world, and I will tell people that> it is because you let her stay. And, if you
let me stay, I will take> good care of this little girl who will do good things
and I will let> people know that you did something for the world when you let
us stay> on the Earth.">> The Elder told the little girl, "Your Mom argued with
Death for a> long time, with all her strength, and she won the argument!" "And>
that is why you are here today. And sometime, when you grow up and> have a
husband, you will have to be kind, because whenyou were being> born you heard
all of this argument, and you learned how your Mama> won the argument with
Death. So, your husband will have a very hard> time winning an argument with
you. You might have to be kind and> sometimes let him win.">> The little girl
left the Elder and went to play with the other> children, (no doubt wanting to
share her story) really proud that she> was alive and knowing that there had
been an agreement that she would> make something of her life.>> I know it terms
of Western Psychology this may be wrong at many> levels. But it has had me
wonder at times, how much of the trauma is> the story with which we define the
trauma- how much is the trauma> sustained by family & cultural propaganda?
(i.e.: The Doctor was a> butcher!..."You almost killed your mother!"..."My
mother was> completely unprepared for my birth"...."I was not a wished for>
child"...) Where is the element of community/estiny in the story?> Thank you
for helping me to remember.>> All My Relations,> Francesca>> >[Non-text
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