Hello Robert and others, I actually live in Edmonton, Canada. As per your
excellent observation, I connect on an as needed basis with other facilitators
where we have opportunities to not only support one another by looking at
issues that arise on a personal level, but there are always new ways of working
that develop as we explore from a variety of perspectives. It is, in my
opinion, a necessary developmental practice we can easily provide ourselves.
Simply gather with some other facilitators either in person or via skype or
some other form of discussion. I have done some distance constellations for
facilitators here on Constellation Talk. Simply contact someone you have an
affinity with by private email (click on the envelope that displays under the
person's name to do this). A distance constellation can be done with or
without representatives. I sometimes do them in my mind's eye. Sometimes I
set them up with a group with whom I meet, sometimes I have even used my horse
to be a representative for the issue and worked that way. There are many
options for us to both give and receive in this process. We can. It is so
possible. Just try it. Facebook also has some pages where facilitators meet
and this kind of work can be accessed there as well. Hope this provides some
support and some ideas for connecting and for self development in the field.
Have a great weekend, Anni Mukkala Stinn, Edmonton, Canada
--- In ConstellationTalk@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx, Robert Grant <erebees@...> wrote:
Dear Annie,
I find your point very valid -
" If we approach the constellation from a place where we as facilitators
feel fear, then we must relinquish some of our need to help. We have moral
obligations to be of service that is rooted in a loving landscape."
In my experience most facilitators harbour fears on various levels.
Unfortunately I do not see regular, peer to peer practice groups for
facilitators to deal with this perennial problem. Please let me know if
there are any in Australia.
Kind regards,
Robert
On Sat, Feb 4, 2012 at 8:57 PM, anni <annimukkala@...> wrote:
**
Hello everyone, Regarding the possible connection between rape and incest
one must always be working on the particular dynamic that presents itself,
not on a dynamic that has presented prior to. To contrast Stephan's
observation, I have worked with persons where incest is the apparent result
of an ancesstral rape. In this particular dynamic the ancestor bore a child
from the rape and this precipitated a dynamic where incest became the
re-balancing family response. I believe that we must in each case, be aware
of what is this particular situation and not rely on past experience nor on
experience of other facilitators. Addressing the particular situation can
only be done with regard to what presents during the constellation.
I also would like to suggest that if a facilitator approaches a dynamic
such as rape and experiences fear, there is an ethical need for that
facilitator to examine his or her own fear before being able to proceed
with a "disinterested"(unbiased) perspective toward the entire dynamic in a
constellation.
The single thing that most concerns me when working with sexual trauma
survivors is that the person is not in any way re-traumatized. If we
approach the constellation from a place where we as facilitators feel fear,
then we must relinquish some of our need to help. We have moral obligations
to be of service that is rooted in a loving landscape.
If we feel a need to help when we ourselves need help, then we must first
address our own need.
With regard to specific constellation on rape, I have in the past, set up
a representative for the perpetrator energy rather than for the
perpetrator. When the victim found her own place in her family system the
perpetrator energy gently withdrew. In this particular instance, a trial
was pending and it was inappropriate on many levels to place an specific
representative for the perpetrator. I offer this only because there are
many ways to approach these things. We must allow our inner sense of what
is needed at that particular moment to provide direction. Sometimes a
person comes for a specific issue such as sexual assault and there are many
other constellations that come up first with regards to the place in the
family. I find that seldom do I work with the trauma first. Other matters
appear to take precedent.
Lastly, with regard to whether sexual assault is in constellations
equivalent to murder, I do not see this. However, the system seems to be
affected deeply by it. There are similarities perhaps. When the individual
finds his or her place in their own family system the perpetrator energy
seems to dissipate. It becomes less. Usually this is accompanied by its
retreat. From this place then there comes a greater peace in the
individual.
Sometimes the victim even notices some of their own perpetrator energy
after these movements. This a a healthy balance. We all have perpetrator
energy in some way and to see it in addition to our victim energy is a
place of balance.
Thank you all for this conversation. I always seem to write a lot. It is
my nature. I find it brings things to fruition to speak them.
Have a wonderful weekend. Love to you all, Anni Mukkala Stinn
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