Dear Dan,
when I read what you wrote, and then again, I did not have an answer
to your questions, answers, but I do have the feeling that he might be
asking you
to take some of the responsibility, give him permission (or not) to contact
his
mother (or not). So in a way, he could be transferring
something onto you about his father.
What does your client really want from you, from the world,
what is his true issue?
I feel he is asking, looking for permission to be in contact,
to connect to his father. (Work you very well might have gone into
with him 2 years ago).
Perhaps his siblings might be suffering or their children might,
but it is speculation- it is the client you are working with
and so I ask again, what does he really want.
take care,
Libby
From: "Jane Peterson" <humansystems@xxxxxxxxxxx>
To: <ConstellationTalk@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx>
Sent: Friday, January 27, 2006 8:10 PM
Subject: Re: [ConstellationTalk] Adoption Question
Hi Dan,
What are the mother¹s reasons for not wanting further contact? Without a
direct connection to the case or client myself (that is, in a forum format I
have less contact with this man¹s knowing field myself and this becomes an
exercise more based in intellect), I would want to know more about the
reasons the mother gave for not wanting contact. That might shed light on
the consequences that could result from the man taking the actions your
questions suggest.
Best wishes,
Jane
On 1/27/06 4:52 PM, "Dan Booth Cohen" <danbcohen@xxxxxxx> wrote:
A former client asked me a question which I am passing along to the group.area
He is in his late 30s, living in a remote small city in the Great Plains
of the northwestern United States. His mother was married with 5 childrenbirth. We
when she became pregnant after a one-night stand with an interstate truck
driver. She concealed the pregnancy and gave him up for adoption at
did a Constellation about 2 years ago, which was very intense. He reportsit
had a strong and positive impact on him.his
About 10 years ago he obtained the name of his mother through the adoption
agency and telephoned her. They spoke for a while. The mother never saw
father again and knows nothing of his whereabouts. She was apologetic andfurther
asked him not to contact her again.
He asked me whether he should accept his mother¹s request to have no
contact. I sat with the question overnight. My response was to ask him alocal
series of questions: What will you do when you read her obituary in the
newspaper? Do you go to the funeral? After she dies, can yourespectfully
contact your siblings? If yes, must you wait until she dies before doingso?
the
I do not have good answers for these questions. One concern is that to
siblings, he is the excluded one. It would not surprise me if one of themis
suffering on his behalf.these
Can anyone share your reflections on the systemic relationship between
half-siblings? What is a good course of action in these situations?<http://groups.yahoo.com/gads?t=ms&k=Health+and+wellness&w1=Health+and+welln
I will share your responses with this man.
Thanks again for allS
Dan
SPONSORED LINKS
Health and wellness
s&w2=Health+wellness+product&w3=Health+and+wellness+program&w4=Health+promot
n+and+wellness&w5=Health+and+wellness+promotion&w6=Business+health+wellness&
6&s=187&.sig=lYI8B8UF6> Health wellness product<http://groups.yahoo.com/gads?t=ms&k=Health+wellness+product&w1=Health+and+w
lness&w2=Health+wellness+product&w3=Health+and+wellness+program&w4=Health+pr
otion+and+wellness&w5=Health+and+wellness+promotion&w6=Business+health+welln
s&c=6&s=187&.sig=7FG7K> Health and wellness program<http://groups.yahoo.com/gads?t=ms&k=Health+and+wellness+program&w1=Health+a
+wellness&w2=Health+wellness+product&w3=Health+and+wellness+program&w4=Healt
promotion+and+wellness&w5=Health+and+wellness+promotion&w6=Business+health+w
lness&c=6&s=187&.sig=S><http://groups.yahoo.com/gads?t=ms&k=Health+promotion+and+wellness&w1=Health
Health promotion and wellness
nd+wellness&w2=Health+wellness+product&w3=Health+and+wellness+program&w4=Hea
h+promotion+and+wellness&w5=Health+and+wellness+promotion&w6=Business+health
ellness&c=6&s=187&.sig> Health and wellness promotion<http://groups.yahoo.com/gads?t=ms&k=Health+and+wellness+promotion&w1=Health
nd+wellness&w2=Health+wellness+product&w3=Health+and+wellness+program&w4=Hea
h+promotion+and+wellness&w5=Health+and+wellness+promotion&w6=Business+health
ellness&c=6&s=187&.sig> Business health wellness<http://groups.yahoo.com/gads?t=ms&k=Business+health+wellness&w1=Health+and+
llness&w2=Health+wellness+product&w3=Health+and+wellness+program&w4=Health+p
motion+and+wellness&w5=Health+and+wellness+promotion&w6=Business+health+well
ss&c=6&s=187&.sig=cq8J>
YAHOO! GROUPS LINKS
* Visit your group "ConstellationTalk
<http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ConstellationTalk> " on the web.
*
* To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to:
* ConstellationTalk-unsubscribe@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
<mailto:ConstellationTalk-unsubscribe@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx?subject=Unsubscribe>
*
* Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to the Yahoo! Terms of Service
<http://docs.yahoo.com/info/terms/> .
