Hi Alison,
The question influences me into recalling a constellation where I asked
about the distance from one of my parents as I was feeling excluded from my
family at the time. At some point in the constellation it was not possible
to get any closer than a certain distance from the parent, still leaving a
gap between parent and my representative. It was deemed by the facilitator
ok to leave it that way and not force something like " 'me' falling into
the arms of the parent" as it was still not 'safe' for the representative
to do so. Right now, it is still an issue for me to feel this distance from
my parent yet manageable, and, what helps me manage the sense of exclusion
is that I have been greatly influenced by the sense I got from a talk that
said something to the tune of : "This world of human existence is a world
governed by attraction and not exclusion or inclusion.....depending on what
you put your focus onto" I found it profound for me since I have had very
intense conversations with my peers regarding behaviours in inter-racial
marriages and the relations involving white-black people interactions at
work or in general when dealing with multicultural contexts. So I speak
from a place of non-escalation of tension in such conversations yet the
idea is not to minimise the bad as a way to maximise the good but simply to
allow the experience to unfold in shaping me from the current observed
experience into who I am becoming into my greater self. Some of the times
it works well to help me love the unloved in my lived experience.
sincerely
Lawrence Ngorora
On Wed, Jan 14, 2015 at 3:01 AM, Alison Fornes maitreya71@xxxxxxxxx
[ConstellationTalk] <ConstellationTalk@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx> wrote:
Hi all,
I've appreciated how the past threads have been elucidating some of the
concepts that have become principles in constellation work.
I've been thinking about the concept of exclusion, and identifying where
it is important in maintaining a healthy system.
Does anyone have any experiences from the field that can shed a light on
the "positive" place of exclusion? Maybe it's not considered exclusion when
it's positive?
Thanks so much,
Alison
--
*It is the courageous heart that loves. It is the loving heart that
heals.alisonfornes.com <http://alisonfornes.com>*
