Dear Leslie
You say that when a client states what they want from a constellation you
may ask them the question:
"And what would having that do for you?”
What a great clarifying question of intention!
Too often have I seen constellations conducted with very little clarity
about the issue and I don't think the benignly indifferent field really
cares enough to make it useful for the client. Moreover the client walks
away with no clear anchor to relate their constellation experience to their
ongoing daily life. I am going to dare to express the controversial
view (almost
a heresy) that the handing over of all to some great wise field that
actually cares about the welfare of an specific individual is a naive
excuse for laziness and lack of skill.
Yes the field is clearly a knowing field. It reveals previously invisible
information. It can be healing when the elements of a constellation are
properly aligned by having a clearly defined issue, a solution focus and an
understanding of healthy order. Harald Hohnen, who watched Bert Hellinger a
lot and assisted him as he developed movements of the soul, observed that
constellations done only with movements of the soul, without working with
these other elements, (issue, solution focus and order) only display the
issue clearly but don't lead to real resolution or healing - and he was
talking about constellations led by the master himself. If the facilitator
and the client are both clear that is what they want then that is okay.
However if the client comes for healing and the facilitator's flyers,
website and talks all are about healing, then I believe it is false
advertising if the facilitator's practice is only focused only on
revealing.
So thank you again Leslie for your clarifying question and like many others
in this forum for contributing something practical that brings more
quality into our professional practice.
Cheers
Chris Walsh
Melbourne, Australia
ph +61 (0)3 9487 4647
www.cwalsh.com.au
On Tue, Apr 21, 2015 at 5:48 AM, Leslie Nipps lnipps@xxxxxxxxx
[ConstellationTalk] <ConstellationTalk@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx> wrote:
Thanks for this conversation about “intention.” I have to admit some
occasional frustration with the larger conversation, because it usually
takes a while for me to track what aspect of intention we’re talking about.
What about the “intention” of assigning a representative to the role of the
mother? Intention is all over the place in constellations. ;-)
Having said that, I want to respond to the specific type of intention
named in Alison’s post, which in NLP is called the “outcome.” There’s a
lovely set of questions in NLP called the “meta outcome” questions. In
response to the client’s answer to the first question which is “What would
you like?” the response from the practitioner is: “That’s terrific. And
what would having that do for you?” (This can be repeated several times.)
This allows for some meaningful exploration of the consciously named
outcome. The process either solidifies for both client and practitioner the
originally-stated outcome, or it leads to a useful conversation about what
might *really* be the truest desire for the client. I often wish FC
practitioners had this simple and elegant tool, because it would help focus
the work on what is truly at the heart of the client’s heart.
Having said that, I generally find that the Field works with even the most
limited, unusefully-stated outcomes so that the resulting outcome is most
beneficial and (often unconsciously) wanted by the client. I’m sure we’ve
all seen that. So, I tend to trust the Field to work with our limited human
knowing about what’s good for us. ;-)
Peace, Leslie
The Rev. Leslie Nipps
NLP & Family Constellations Practitioner
“Trust as a Way of Life…”
leslie@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Co-Director, 2015 North American Systemic Constellations Conference in San
Diego on November 12-15.
Visit ConstellateUs.com/conference2015 for more information
On Apr 20, 2015, at 3:53 AM, Alison Fornes maitreya71@xxxxxxxxx
[ConstellationTalk] <ConstellationTalk@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx> wrote:
Dear Community,
Thanks for this conversation about intention.
I understand and appreciate the thoughts about intention. In practice, I
would say that I probably hear the intention in the same way that I watch
where representatives are placed: as a information that the seeker is
providing me about the system.
Having said that, I don't know if that's appropriate. For why would I, as
a human facilitator, have any clearer line to the greater intent than the
client herself?
I am in an argument with myself here. For my response is that because my
intention is to have a perspective that is broader than the seeker and
align myself with the greater movement.
I understood when Chris wrote a while back about being clear with the
client (and ourselves!) about our position as a facilitator. If they come
to us with an intention, is it not also our place to be clear with them
about our own intention? Shall I say to them, "Thanks for telling me your
intention, now I will decide for myself whether to follow it."
Perhaps more honest to say, "hmm, I don't know if we shall meet that
intention, but from my place as facilitator, with the insight available to
me, my intention is to listen deeply and do the best that I can to bring
ease."
That really is my intention: to shift the constriction in the field into
greater ease/flow.
I continue to feel a tension here-but honestly, I think that is between my
intellect or perhaps ego and my heart. Alison wants to heal, but when I'm
in the field, Seeing and not forcing "healing" is always where my heart
leads.
--
*It is the courageous heart that loves. It is the loving heart that
heals.alisonfornes.com <http://alisonfornes.com/>*
