Thanks Gary,
More great contribution to the subject.
Reading your post reminds me of Rumi's writing.
It does not matter what Rumi sounds like. It only matters that the words i
read attributed to him have lifted me up, have given wings to my heart and
steadied a sometimes rocky walk through this life. To this I give my
gratitude..... for the zikar of the heart:
"Let the beauty we love be what we do.
There are hundreds of ways to kneel and kiss the ground."
For that I bow to you, too Gary.
Tommy Tran
On Sun, Aug 21, 2011 at 1:39 PM, gary stuart <Gary@xxxxxxxxxxxx> wrote:
**
Thanks Donna,
One thing I forgot to mention in my last post was Splitting elements of the
Client and Rep... We can add an inner child rep to the Client or the very
least the part of them that is receptive to change... This 2nd rep can Bow
however appropriate and even if the Client is BIG and not able to do so
that
little piece inside him or her can be watched and assimilated by the client
without them being "forced or suggested to do anything against their
wishes"
Their defenses are survival reactions and loyalties to a time of danger
from
a time and place that no longer exists. The energetic reaction does as in
energetic transference epigenetically from our collective ancestral past...
As I write this we too as facilitators should Bow even internally to the
Greatness of their Family system we are delving into.. as we too should
even
be littler than the Client. The Greatness of any Family system no matter
WHAT is that it led to the survival and proliferation forward at ALL Cost
so
in bigger terms it was a Complete success.. We constellators help (if we're
allowed or asked to) sort out the Small stuff which gives us ancestral
connection to the BIGGER forces contained with thin its microcosm commonly
known as the Family System....remember it is ALL GOOD... Life moved forward
in this way dysfunctional of not... it commands respect and honor from us
first and then IF we are lucky to get through to the client.. them
too...Sometime it is just a seed planted in the clients soul that needs
time
to process... so let it....trust and let go of any correct outcome...
A paradox for us to digest is life has Rules & Order and No Rules or Order
both simultaneously....Survival and movement forward to an unseen
destination seems to be its goal.... Namaste again for this Inspiration al
Sunday on C-Talk Gary Stuart, LA, CA Gary@xxxxxxxxxxxx
PS special thanks to Heinz Stark for this Splitting technique... We also
can
have the Divine male and Human Father plus Divine Feminine and Human Mother
it is quite effective for trouble spot and we can also have the Divine
Child
and Human Child as well...
-----Original Message-----
From: ConstellationTalk@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
[mailto:ConstellationTalk@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx] On Behalf Of donna joy
Sent: Sunday, August 21, 2011 11:05 AM
To: constellationtalk@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Subject: RE: [ConstellationTalk] Re: Bowing Note--Gesture Doesn't Equal or
Create Feeling
Perhaps we need to think of the first bow- even half way - as a baby step
towards an inner bow. Some folks need to be led on the physical plane
before they can leap on the other planes. I am still practicing my bows and
keep getting closer to the ultimate bow.
To: ConstellationTalk@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
From: lizjelinek@xxxxxxxxxxx
Date: Sun, 21 Aug 2011 13:54:13 -0400
Subject: RE: [ConstellationTalk] Re: Bowing Note--Gesture Doesn't Equal or
Create Feeling
Wow Gary, that reminds me so much of the Zen master's who beat their
postulants regularly! And your beautiful story of something so simples as
having the angry man sit so he'd be smaller was magnificent. Thank you for
sharing your experiences with Hellinger, I felt honored to have heard of
them. Liz
From: ConstellationTalk@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
[mailto:ConstellationTalk@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx] On Behalf Of gary stuart
Sent: Sunday, August 21, 2011 1:47 PM
To: ConstellationTalk@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Subject: RE: [ConstellationTalk] Re: Bowing Note--Gesture Doesn't Equal or
Create Feeling
Dear Dan and All,
I was with Bert at his first Certification training in Austria. I would
like to add to Dan's experience in Washington DC of Bert "punching" the
Client.... We as Student/facilitators asked him about this in a Q & A every
evening at our 6 week Certification program. I will paraphrase his
intention
from what I remember.... He sated is essence that the soul/biology was
stuck in the belief at a cellular level and need to be awakened or jarred
from its pattern..... the "loving punch" takes one by surprise and somehow
WAKES us up to be Present at the very moment we need that wake up call to
let in what is before us or the very least let go of what's holding un to
our past beliefs.
When I was in DC Bert hugged me in my Constellation about generational
Cancer striking down my male side of my family system (I had never seen him
EVER hug anyone working until it as me... He also did not know I was NEVER
hugged by my father in this life but somehow he knew I needed that TLC ...
it was very powerful and he gave me 2 words to say to those who came and
died from this ravaging disease for at least 3 generations and it was "I'LL
STAY"
In Austria he would frequently come up behind me and punch my back and
say good morning and chat... Coming from my violently abusive family system
it was ironic that I could take this as love and not an attack... that in
and of itself was transformative for me.
As a seasoned facilitator in America I would personally NEVER punch a
client. In our litigious society I believe it is a no,no... I would however
tap them on their chest or back to get the heart energy moving and breathe
activated getting them out of their head and story. This seems to work well
AND makes them present.
A side note... If the Bowing is forced or NOT appropriate as some clients
are mentally attached to their story and not seeing the soulful humbleness
of life. I have then SIT in a chair in front of their family system to be
small in front of the BIGGER ones... whether they know what I'm doing or
not is irrelevant. They are then in Order and Physically in their right
place as a little one.
Just last night a young buck of a male who was proud that he could kill
anyone in his family if needed was identified with the murderous rage over
being sodomized by a pedophile family member 2-3 generations after the
event
his great grandson carried this for him and Felt BIGGER than the whole
family yet he was born into & years after this event happened and yet
carried the BIG energy for the Progenitor.
I had him sit as the small one and the look on his face as that sweet
vulnerable little boy free of this rage was very touching to say the least.
This is why I'm mentioning this on this thread... BOWING was not an option
BUT Sitting lower and small in front of the bigger older ones was.... I
would say being small and getting the client at any age to be in a lower
position physically is as good a bowing. If I punched or ordered bowing
this client to do so I would not be writing this post.... Remember it is
ALL
about love and finding it where it was hiding in the larger family
system....
He left sweet, moved and vulnerable probably for the first time this
lifetime.
Namaste to ALL , loving support Gary Stuart LA, CA Gary@xxxxxxxxxxxx
<mailto:Gary%40Chifield.com>
From: ConstellationTalk@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
<mailto:ConstellationTalk%40yahoogroups.com>
[mailto:ConstellationTalk@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
<mailto:ConstellationTalk%40yahoogroups.com> ] On Behalf Of Dan
Sent: Sunday, August 21, 2011 5:12 AM
To: ConstellationTalk@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
<mailto:ConstellationTalk%40yahoogroups.com>
Subject: [ConstellationTalk] Re: Bowing Note--Gesture Doesn't Equal or
Create Feeling
Dear Robert and All,
This reminds me of the dramatic Constellation in Washington, DC where Bert
Hellinger punched a client who refused to bow to his father. The
Constellation had progressed to the point where the client, the rep for the
father, and Hellinger were standing at the front of the stage. Hellinger
directed the client to bow. The client did not move. After repeating the
instructions, Hellinger had the rep sit down and stood representing the
father. He repeated the instruction once more. When the client still
balked,
Hellinger's fist shot out and stuck the client violently in the chest. I do
not clearly recall what happened, except for my fear that the two were
about
to brawl on the stage. No further punches were thrown and the Constellation
ended soon after.
Personally, it was an important moment in my evolution as a facilitator,
and
perhaps partially explains why I rarely instruct clients to bow at the end
of a Constellation.
Hellinger is the father of Family Constellations. Like many fathers, his
public outbursts have sometimes shamed or embarrassed his children. Some
emulate and strive to be like him. Others recoil and strive to disassociate
from him. Between those who bow and lavish him with praise and those who
criticize and move away, there is a tension that feels like sibling
conflict.
Dan
--- In ConstellationTalk@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
<mailto:ConstellationTalk%40yahoogroups.com>
<mailto:ConstellationTalk%40yahoogroups.com> , Robert Grant <erebees@...>
wrote:
Dear Michael and Friends,
Michael your contribution to the discussion reminded me of some less
than helpful experiences with bowing. Notwithstanding the tremendous
healing potential of the bowing act unfortunately in Europe at least
it is still not uncommon to run into authoritarian facilitators who
may from time to time force the bow. As a general principle gentle
suggestion / invitation and not clinging to outcomes seems to me a
very important principle in the facilitation process, especially with
powerful acts like bowing.
Kind regards to all,
Robert
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