Wow Gary, that reminds me so much of the Zen master's who beat their
postulants regularly! And your beautiful story of something so simples as
having the angry man sit so he'd be smaller was magnificent. Thank you for
sharing your experiences with Hellinger, I felt honored to have heard of
them. Liz
From: ConstellationTalk@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
[mailto:ConstellationTalk@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx] On Behalf Of gary stuart
Sent: Sunday, August 21, 2011 1:47 PM
To: ConstellationTalk@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Subject: RE: [ConstellationTalk] Re: Bowing Note--Gesture Doesn't Equal or
Create Feeling
Dear Dan and All,
I was with Bert at his first Certification training in Austria. I would
like to add to Dan's experience in Washington DC of Bert "punching" the
Client.... We as Student/facilitators asked him about this in a Q & A every
evening at our 6 week Certification program. I will paraphrase his intention
from what I remember.... He sated is essence that the soul/biology was
stuck in the belief at a cellular level and need to be awakened or jarred
from its pattern..... the "loving punch" takes one by surprise and somehow
WAKES us up to be Present at the very moment we need that wake up call to
let in what is before us or the very least let go of what's holding un to
our past beliefs.
When I was in DC Bert hugged me in my Constellation about generational
Cancer striking down my male side of my family system (I had never seen him
EVER hug anyone working until it as me... He also did not know I was NEVER
hugged by my father in this life but somehow he knew I needed that TLC ...
it was very powerful and he gave me 2 words to say to those who came and
died from this ravaging disease for at least 3 generations and it was "I'LL
STAY"
In Austria he would frequently come up behind me and punch my back and
say good morning and chat... Coming from my violently abusive family system
it was ironic that I could take this as love and not an attack... that in
and of itself was transformative for me.
As a seasoned facilitator in America I would personally NEVER punch a
client. In our litigious society I believe it is a no,no... I would however
tap them on their chest or back to get the heart energy moving and breathe
activated getting them out of their head and story. This seems to work well
AND makes them present.
A side note... If the Bowing is forced or NOT appropriate as some clients
are mentally attached to their story and not seeing the soulful humbleness
of life. I have then SIT in a chair in front of their family system to be
small in front of the BIGGER ones... whether they know what I'm doing or
not is irrelevant. They are then in Order and Physically in their right
place as a little one.
Just last night a young buck of a male who was proud that he could kill
anyone in his family if needed was identified with the murderous rage over
being sodomized by a pedophile family member 2-3 generations after the event
his great grandson carried this for him and Felt BIGGER than the whole
family yet he was born into & years after this event happened and yet
carried the BIG energy for the Progenitor.
I had him sit as the small one and the look on his face as that sweet
vulnerable little boy free of this rage was very touching to say the least.
This is why I'm mentioning this on this thread... BOWING was not an option
BUT Sitting lower and small in front of the bigger older ones was.... I
would say being small and getting the client at any age to be in a lower
position physically is as good a bowing. If I punched or ordered bowing
this client to do so I would not be writing this post.... Remember it is ALL
about love and finding it where it was hiding in the larger family
system....
He left sweet, moved and vulnerable probably for the first time this
lifetime.
Namaste to ALL , loving support Gary Stuart LA, CA Gary@xxxxxxxxxxxx
<mailto:Gary%40Chifield.com>
From: ConstellationTalk@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
<mailto:ConstellationTalk%40yahoogroups.com>
[mailto:ConstellationTalk@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
<mailto:ConstellationTalk%40yahoogroups.com> ] On Behalf Of Dan
Sent: Sunday, August 21, 2011 5:12 AM
To: ConstellationTalk@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
<mailto:ConstellationTalk%40yahoogroups.com>
Subject: [ConstellationTalk] Re: Bowing Note--Gesture Doesn't Equal or
Create Feeling
Dear Robert and All,
This reminds me of the dramatic Constellation in Washington, DC where Bert
Hellinger punched a client who refused to bow to his father. The
Constellation had progressed to the point where the client, the rep for the
father, and Hellinger were standing at the front of the stage. Hellinger
directed the client to bow. The client did not move. After repeating the
instructions, Hellinger had the rep sit down and stood representing the
father. He repeated the instruction once more. When the client still balked,
Hellinger's fist shot out and stuck the client violently in the chest. I do
not clearly recall what happened, except for my fear that the two were about
to brawl on the stage. No further punches were thrown and the Constellation
ended soon after.
Personally, it was an important moment in my evolution as a facilitator, and
perhaps partially explains why I rarely instruct clients to bow at the end
of a Constellation.
Hellinger is the father of Family Constellations. Like many fathers, his
public outbursts have sometimes shamed or embarrassed his children. Some
emulate and strive to be like him. Others recoil and strive to disassociate
from him. Between those who bow and lavish him with praise and those who
criticize and move away, there is a tension that feels like sibling
conflict.
Dan
--- In ConstellationTalk@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
<mailto:ConstellationTalk%40yahoogroups.com>
<mailto:ConstellationTalk%40yahoogroups.com> , Robert Grant <erebees@...>
wrote:
Dear Michael and Friends,
Michael your contribution to the discussion reminded me of some less
than helpful experiences with bowing. Notwithstanding the tremendous
healing potential of the bowing act unfortunately in Europe at least
it is still not uncommon to run into authoritarian facilitators who
may from time to time force the bow. As a general principle gentle
suggestion / invitation and not clinging to outcomes seems to me a
very important principle in the facilitation process, especially with
powerful acts like bowing.
Kind regards to all,
Robert
