I appreciate the outpouring of sharing that was sparked by a tragic event.
Even a pebble tossed into the vastness of life has ripples that affect us all.
One thing I take from discussion this is how in our efforts to make sense of
our world there is a
tendency to offer/state opinions as facts. Jung stated that a sign of maturity
was the
ability to hold two seemingly opposing statements in one's mind at the same
time.
The differing opinions expressed here don't negate each other. The constrast
between them shows us how much we really don't know and have to assume.
The facts of what happen here we can agree on because they can be verified.
Everything else is an opinion. Of course, people will have strong emotional
reactions and judgments about life and death issues like suicide. Different
cultures react differently. The difference is that the facts of what happened
won't change. How we interpet and respond to what happened in the past and what
could happen in the future will change, especially if we realize our current
views
are opinions that are inherently subject to change.
Sincerely
Harrison Snow
To: ConstellationTalk@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
From: ConstellationTalk@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Date: Sat, 4 Apr 2015 10:09:30 +1100
Subject: Re: [ConstellationTalk] Re: ethics and constellations
Dear Anni,
Best wishes for your continued recovery
from that concussion. Comparing notes is one of the most positive aspects of
this forum.
Best wishes to all,
Robert
On Sat, Apr 4, 2015 at 4:25 AM, annimukkala@xxxxxxxx [ConstellationTalk]
<ConstellationTalk@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx> wrote:
Robert, some of the things you gleaned from my words were not what I meant. I
am still suffering from post concussion syndrome and I am having a very
difficult time focusing. Hence, the grammar errors and poor train of thought
and words.
I clearly mean that the facilitator like everyone in the room is guided by a
larger force and that the facilitator does know when he or she has agreed
internally to that. We will work poorly if we are not in agreement with the
larger force. The more the facilitator allows the field to move, the less they
'control' and the deeper the constellation can be.
There is a fine line, however, when a facilitator clearly sees a representative
or another person in the circle taking a personal control and expressing it
aloud. These are the kinds of things that always must be in the awareness of
the facilitator. We must always be alert to all movements and discern from
where they come. Bert himself does this.
Also, I did want to bring up the contradictions that I see between health and
protective services and constellations. As Dan has said, these two work on
different planes or levels of consciousness. So there is in constellation work
an opening to a deeper unconscious layer of how we connect to the world. We
all know this.
I am not sure what you mean by your statement the "forecourt of hell is paved
with good intentions." But it is I think exactly what I am saying. That a
facilitator must not have intentions. A facilitator must allow the field to
move through them not to intend anything from it. Bert also teaches this.
I am sorry my brain is still not well. But this is a vital conversation. Let's
keep talking. It moves into places where, like in explaining constellations
themselves, there is difficulty finding words.
Yours, Anni Mukkala-Stinn
---In ConstellationTalk@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx, <erebees@...> wrote :
Hello Friend,
This discussion seems to be exposing a
major fault line in the general Constellation Community.
“We do not control anyone else's life. To
do so is a great imposition on their integrity as a human being.”
“The flow must be one that flows through
the facilitator not through another participant or protector figure.”
I do notice a degree of contradiction in these
statements; a held back desire to control (“great imposition if we do”), a
justification (“the flow must be one that flows through the facilitator”) and a
denial (“we do not control”). Of course doctors, pilots, bus drivers do have
their passengers lives in their hands every day.
Many regrettable events have transpired in human history in the name of a
greater force like god, nation,
spirit and so on. In fact the forecourt of hell is paved with
good intentions, as we know.
On reflection one may realise that the
facilitator is just an other participant in the field. One of the
most important safeguards in constellations is listening to the whole field and
respect for all participants in the room. To impose a facilitator knows best
regime is a dangerous approach clearly demonstrated by this unfortunate
suicide.
Best wishes to all,
Robert
On Fri, Apr 3, 2015 at 7:25 AM, annimukkala@... [ConstellationTalk]
<ConstellationTalk@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx> wrote:
We do not control anyone else's life. To do so is a great imposition on their
integrity as a human being. I wonder, Maria, if you had in fact, stepped in as
the doctor, held the patient as your responsibility and then that still there
was the choice of suicide, that you may be asking that your choice was in
error? We want to have control. We always want life to go on whether that
choice is ours or not. Encounters with death always make us ask whether we had
a part in it or not. Sometimes death only grazes us and we feel relief as
though we controlled it.
The idea of being an underminer of the facilitator rings true with me. The flow
must be one that flows through the facilitator not through another participant
or protector figure. This is a complex construct that we do need to examine.
Also, the ability of the facilitator to allow the flow of the healing energy
that is love/God/source/ whatever you choose to call it. We as facilitators
must be very cued to our own ability to allow the source to flow and move, that
it is not us who moves these things.
Allowing someone else to take the role of the facilitator can be very
dangerous. We cannot know the others intention or agreement with the lack of
intention necessary to allow flow. We have life and death in constellation
work that is in a place we rarely see it so clearly. This can and is a very
vulnerable place to work. We can never be glib or lose the quality of deep
gentleness and kindness.
Spiritual growth and spiritual depth seem to me to be necessary qualities of
facilitators that we often do not emphasize enough. We have deep
responsibilities when we facilitate. We must always be aware of these. This is
a very important discussion.
That death has shown itself is not surprising. That we see it so little often
surprises me.
Love to you all, Anni
