Hello everyone. This is my first response since I joined this group.
I am grateful for a place to share these important topics with fellow
Practitioners/Facilitators.
As a Constellation Facilitator, and therapist in private practice,
I make sure that the constellation participants understand that this
process is not a therapy nor a diagnosis, but an investigative process,
that they will have to decide how to interpret on their own.
I have all participants sign a liability release form stating this.
I do not invite or include those who are psychologically fragile to
participate in any way.
If a therapist wished to find a "cause" for a behavior pattern in a
patient, I would suggest a family member (who would have standing) ask for
a constellation on behalf of the fragile person/patient.
A person in Depression may interpret the pattern of Suicides/deaths in the
family field as a sign that they were to also to die that way, being a
forgone conclusion. A healthy mentally person would see the pattern and
take measures to heal it, to break it and choose something different.
In our hearts desire to heal or "fix" every person of their demons, we can
sometimes find ourselves too attached to outcomes.
My own heart goes out to anyone who experiences Depression and anyone who
tries to help them recover from it.
Constellations may not be the best path for healing the psychologically
fragile.
Just my thoughts.
Thank You
Alethea Devi MTP
On Thu, Apr 2, 2015 at 4:09 PM, Robert Grant erebees@xxxxxxxxx
[ConstellationTalk] <ConstellationTalk@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx> wrote:
Hello Friend,
This discussion seems to be exposing a major fault line in the general
Constellation Community.
“We do not control anyone else's life. To do so is a great imposition on
their integrity as a human being.”
“The flow must be one that flows through the facilitator not through
another participant or protector figure.”
I do notice a degree of contradiction in these statements; a held back
desire to control (“great imposition if we do”), a justification (“the flow
must be one that flows through the facilitator”) and a denial (“we do not
control”). Of course doctors, pilots, bus drivers do have their passengers
lives in their hands every day.
Many regrettable events have transpired in human history in the name of a
greater force like god, nation, spirit and so on. In fact the forecourt of
hell is paved with good intentions, as we know.
On reflection one may realise that the facilitator is just an other
participant in the field. One of the most important safeguards in
constellations is listening to the whole field and respect for all
participants in the room. To impose a facilitator knows best regime is a
dangerous approach clearly demonstrated by this unfortunate suicide.
Best wishes to all,
Robert
On Fri, Apr 3, 2015 at 7:25 AM, annimukkala@xxxxxxxx [ConstellationTalk] <
ConstellationTalk@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx> wrote:
We do not control anyone else's life. To do so is a great imposition on
their integrity as a human being. I wonder, Maria, if you had in fact,
stepped in as the doctor, held the patient as your responsibility and then
that still there was the choice of suicide, that you may be asking that
your choice was in error? We want to have control. We always want life to
go on whether that choice is ours or not. Encounters with death always make
us ask whether we had a part in it or not. Sometimes death only grazes us
and we feel relief as though we controlled it.
The idea of being an underminer of the facilitator rings true with me.
The flow must be one that flows through the facilitator not through another
participant or protector figure. This is a complex construct that we do
need to examine. Also, the ability of the facilitator to allow the flow of
the healing energy that is love/God/source/ whatever you choose to call it.
We as facilitators must be very cued to our own ability to allow the source
to flow and move, that it is not us who moves these things.
Allowing someone else to take the role of the facilitator can be very
dangerous. We cannot know the others intention or agreement with the lack
of intention necessary to allow flow. We have life and death in
constellation work that is in a place we rarely see it so clearly. This can
and is a very vulnerable place to work. We can never be glib or lose the
quality of deep gentleness and kindness.
Spiritual growth and spiritual depth seem to me to be necessary qualities
of facilitators that we often do not emphasize enough. We have deep
responsibilities when we facilitate. We must always be aware of these. This
is a very important discussion.
That death has shown itself is not surprising. That we see it so little
often surprises me.
Love to you all, Anni
