I¹ve always thought the ³don¹t talk about the constellation² rule was a bit
like ³don¹t think about a pink elephant.² Almost entirely impossible to do!
So, when I bring this up at constellations, I don¹t say ³don¹t talk about
it.² I say ³don¹t analyze it.² And then I give an example of going over to a
representative who represented your Uncle Joe who said to your cousin Lisa
that he was tired. And so you go to him and ask ³What did you mean by that?
And why did you say it to Lisa? And what else were you feeling? It seemed to
me you looked uncomfortable.² Etc. ;-) Analyzing, trying to fit things into
categories, understand what is an impression or a feeling, etc. Putting into
boxes that we can handle. I invite people to avoid that, because although it
doesn¹t have a magical negative effect like you mentioned, it does tend to
drain the forward-moving energy of the field.
One of the things I like to do as I facilitate is annotate, share my process
and impressions, and some constellation principles, esp because I always
have a bunch of newbies, and I¹m a bit of a teacher. Sometimes, though, I
find that too much of this starts to drain the energy of the field. And, if
it stimulates questions from the groupas it sometimes doesit can be even
worse, and I have to stop it, and bring everyone¹s attention to how the
field is waning.
However, even though I want to avoid that, as soon as we put our attention
back on the field in the correct way, it comes back immediately, so it¹s not
an irreparable harm, as far as I can see. As long as you come back.
So, I assume it works much the same afterward, while talking about it. I
think there is much talkingand other processing, too, like journalingthat
is just fine, if we aren¹t analyzing, but trying to engage the experience
creatively and in a heart-centered way. I think it¹s inevitable, honestly.
But over-analyzing afterward will drain the energy of the experience. And,
if we find ourselves doing that, we can still come back to the energy
through an appropriate shift of intention.
Is that helpful? Love your questions!
Peace, Leslie
The Rev. Leslie Nipps, NLP & Family Constellations Practitioner
³Trust as a Way of Life²
www.leslienipps.com
leslie@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
From: Constellation Talk <ConstellationTalk@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx>
Reply-To: Constellation Talk <ConstellationTalk@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx>
Date: Wed, 30 Jul 2014 05:28:22 -0400
To: Constellation Talk <ConstellationTalk@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx>
Subject: [ConstellationTalk] Talking about your Constellation:
Superstition?
Hi All,
(Note - SKIP TO "Here are my questions" if you just want to skim this
email.)
I am recently returned from the 7th North American Systemic Constellations
Intensive, which I had the privilege of directing this year. I feel the
expansiveness in my heart as I think about it! It was wonderful. Thanks to
the faculty: Francesca Mason Boring, Dan Booth Cohen, Ed Lynch and Bill
Mannle! And to all who attended and co-created such a beautiful, sacred
space.
My wondering comes out of a Constellation I asked for in my group on the
last day. It was not a personal Constellation in the usual sense, and it
wasn't clearly resolved because we didn't have time.
A few people from that group have reached out to me, and I noticed my
hesitance in talking about it too much. However, the hesitance feels more
like my response to the "rule" that we shouldn't talk about our
Constellations. And so I'm left wondering about the evidence for that
restriction. Or if perhaps I have been misinterpreting, in which case,
perhaps I'm not the only one?
HERE ARE MY QUESTIONS / thoughts:
1. We acknowledge that our day-to-day, personal consciousness is not the
main driver of our lives. Constellations clearly reveal that aspects of our
deeper systemic consciousness manifest through _symptoms_ in our personal
consciousness but are usually not seen for what they are in terms of
ancestral roots of trauma, etc. AND even if we do have a sense of their
ancestral roots, talking about it doesn't seem to resolve it. This is shown
by the experience of very slow process of talk therapy, vs. the much shorter
and incredibly effective Constellation healing. So one might say in this
case: talking has very little effect on the larger field.
The one place talk therapy is recognized as effective, though, is when the
talk hits on the deeper roots of an issue. Then we can feel in our bodies,
as in the Focusing work of Eugene Gendlin, that something has resonated and
moved.
2. I also have started engaging in dream work, especially the practice of
"Lightning Dream Work" described by Robert Moss. In this process, once the
dream is presented to a group, participants respond to it with the statement
"If this were my dream..." and they give their thoughts as if it were
LITERALLY their dream. It's quite a special process, as it reveals multiple
facets of what's in the larger field of that dream. The dreamer can then
take what's relevant to them, and is often shown new things they had never
considered. That information, provided not just through the experiencing of
the dream but also through the elucidation of the dream using words, is
quite valuable. Again, it feels like it has the effect of moving something
resonant from the wordless Field into our personal consciousness, which can
be very healing.
The "If this were my dream" has started moving into my Constellation work,
and now when I experience a Constellation that is not mine, there are times
when I talk about it using that language, especially if the seeker is
confused by the Constellation.
Silence vs. Words -
3. On the other hand, there is a clear place for silence. The profound,
sacred beauty of a Constellation often creates its own silence, naturally.
It's a silence that emerges from the movement in the Field. You can also
feel how, if you try to tell someone of the experience, there's a way it can
feel like profanity, as in irreverence or desecration. That contrast between
silence and words makes sense to me in the context of Constellation work.
4. Finally, there is the way I have interpreted / misinterpreted the idea
"don't talk about your constellation" - this is where the superstition part
comes in. I have had the idea (where did it come from?) that talking about
your constellation in the wrong way can somehow undo the healing of the
Constellation. I am noticing that I feel that in my body as an actual fear.
Is that idea in the larger field? Where did it come from? Is it true? Is
there evidence for such a thing.
My thoughts right now are that I have direct experience that shows me that
1, 2, and 3 are true, and my conclusions are that talk can get in the way of
the "sacred silence" that emerges from a powerful Constellation, but not the
healing movement itself.
Alison Fornés
It is the courageous heart that loves. It is the loving heart that heals.
alisonfornes.com <http://alisonfornes.com>
