Hello Alison and all friends
Alison, big hug and sorry to miss the Intensive. Hope to make it next year.
Please allow me to share an experience. It was 2007 and I attended the
Intensive at Benreid, Germany. It was also a time of change for the work from
the movement of the Soul to the movement of the Spiritmind as revealed to Mr.
Hellinger.
Mr. Hunter Beaumont announced that morning that there was a surprise visit from
both Mr. Bert and Sophie Hellinger for that morning.
Mr. Hellinger then began to say he would like to demonstrate the new way of the
work as in the movement of the SpiritMind and that he only wanted to work
around illnesses. There were about 80 of us in that intensive. My sister was
just diagnosed with cancer and many hands went up wishing to be selected. My
hand shot up so fast and up to this day I still do not know how that happened.
That day my body was faster then my mind and definitely my love for my sister
evident. You see I was too terrified to work with Mr. Hellinger as I was the
stubborn type or perhaps just fragily rebellious.
I was selected out of several folks with hands up and overhead someone
whispered how he only wants to work with Chinese?! I felt I was picked by the
colorblind FIELD that said yes! In any case quite amusing now to be reminded of
it as I write here.
I sat on the “hot seat” and began to speak and Mr. Hellinger practically
shouted at me and said “No talking”. For some of you that know me, you already
know I can be quite a chatterbox and he had to tell me again to be quiet few
times and then even insisted that I closed my eyes.
The constellation was facilitated by him in total silence from beginning to end
and I had no idea what is was all about and so new in that way then. Lots of
slow motion movements, representatives falling to the group, few are crying and
he had me represent myself and I remember looking out and there was a tree and
then I was back in the “hot seat” again when completed and began to speak again
and he again had to tell me “No talking” and then he further went on to declare
that no one should talk or ask me about the constellation and if they did, they
would be displaying the energy of a Rapist. That shut me up for sure TOTALLY.
It worked!
Also grateful to him that not only can I not speak about it, I was also
protected from others coming to me with their “kind" interpretations. So I was
spared from the mind having to make conclusions from my own and other well
meaning folks.
This experience alone showed me the respect and honor that Mr. Hellinger gave
to me and my system without his interference. Such trust makes him a true
Master of this work in my opinion.
Because it was a training I heard that there was a meeting that night for the
students and they did speak about my constellation but I was the only one that
naturally did not want to violate myself and so did not attend.
I was left in the uncomfortable space of not knowing and then 3 days later
while walking the amazing forest close by, all the upsurge of the insights came
from deep within me in it’s purity. Wow! It did not come from Mr. Hellinger nor
anyone else but from my own innate wisdom and Mr. Hellinger is a warrior and he
knows how to be patient in not knowing. Thank you Mr. Hellinger for your fine
art of Trust, Respect & Honor. Thank you.
On a different note, I just received today an email newsletter from my former
Biodynamic Cranio Sacral teacher, Michael Shea and I find it quite relevant to
our sharing here and so I copied from him to share with all of you dear fellow
travelers of Life & of Love. Thank you:-
This video captures the vastness of a limpid ocean just before sunrise. The
stillness is palpable yet there is still movement and sound from the shore
break. That is why dynamic stillness is not inert but rather contains an active
principle of clarity, spaciousness and above all relaxation. When we can relax
our minds, we can tune in to the natural vastness and unlimited space of our
mind just as it is reflected in the ocean in front of us. Click HERE to view
this video.
within all of love and it’s mysterious blessings both known and unknown
Anutosh
www.anutoshhealingarts.com
On Jul 31, 2014, at 9:04 PM, Julio Príncipe principejulio@xxxxxxxxx
[ConstellationTalk] <ConstellationTalk@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx> wrote:
In my case, when I work with organisations,,talk about along with the team
brings a wide space and allow new options to handle how to build a new kind
of results in "this" reality. With issues like trauma or just family
relationships I prefer to ask the client if she/he want to share his/her
experience and some insights (not the process), but many times I suggest not
to talk also. I want to add that I work with family constellations almost
exclusively in individual settings (organisational usually in workshops).
However, I use to receive positive feedback both in family as with
organisational cases; so I cannot say when it's better or is not; I trust in
what I feel in the moment with my client (a new team, a confused CEO, a
concerned mother, etc).
Thank you Heiki for your question, I'll pay atention looking for differences
and new learnings.
Julio
El jul 31, 2014 10:42 PM, "Heiki Eesmaa heiki.eesmaa@xxxxxxxxx
[ConstellationTalk]" <ConstellationTalk@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx> escribió:
So for those who don't follow the "don't talk about it" rule, how are the
results? Is there correlation between those who are eager to discuss their
constellation and those whose constellation seems to not resolve their issue?
As a matter of another principle, I wonder if clients really really can
decide for themselves when to discuss and when not, as Katia del Rivero
Vargas wrote. If even we don't know for sure what effects such discussion has
for them, I wonder about the ethics of allowing the client to decide without
sufficient understanding.
best regards
Heiki Eesmaa
On Fri, Aug 1, 2014 at 4:56 AM, Julio Príncipe principejulio@xxxxxxxxx
[ConstellationTalk] <ConstellationTalk@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx> wrote:
Thanks Katia, I agree with you and reading your post, clarifies the process
to me.
When I shared in this post I felt a little bit weird, because I let clients
talk -specially in organizational process. (I just shared how do I explain
the "not-to-talk-rule")
Still learning and happy for that,
Julio
2014-07-31 17:08 GMT-05:00 'Katia del Rivero Vargas'
katia@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
[ConstellationTalk]<ConstellationTalk@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx>:
In our trainings we don’t follow the “rule”.
I learned with the clients that many of them need something different:
Some of them need to talk, is their way to integrate the work.
Some of them need to hear, is their way to integrate the work.
Some of them need to be in silence, is their way to integrate the work.
Then we ask them… ¿What do you need? ¿It is ok if we process the experience
with the rest of the group and you stay? ¿Or you prefer to go and maintain
the experience? ¿What you need, ask your heart?
Usually, they really know what they need. Some of them prefer to go, other to
stay the whole reflection, other only part.
In my own perspective, to respect and trust that the clients have their own
way to integrate and follow this way is the best option.
Katia del Rivero Vargas
Visión Sistémica
Directora General
Oficina (52 55) 5544 8799 / Celular (044 55) 5454 5438
<mailto:kdelrivero@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx> katia@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx / skype:
kdelrivero
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De: ConstellationTalk@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
[mailto:ConstellationTalk@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx] ;
Enviado el: miércoles, 30 de julio de 2014 04:28 a.m.
Para: ConstellationTalk@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Asunto: [ConstellationTalk] Talking about your Constellation: Superstition?
Hi All,
(Note - SKIP TO "Here are my questions" if you just want to skim this email.)
I am recently returned from the 7th North American Systemic Constellations
Intensive, which I had the privilege of directing this year. I feel the
expansiveness in my heart as I think about it! It was wonderful. Thanks to
the faculty: Francesca Mason Boring, Dan Booth Cohen, Ed Lynch and Bill
Mannle! And to all who attended and co-created such a beautiful, sacred space.
My wondering comes out of a Constellation I asked for in my group on the last
day. It was not a personal Constellation in the usual sense, and it wasn't
clearly resolved because we didn't have time.
A few people from that group have reached out to me, and I noticed my
hesitance in talking about it too much. However, the hesitance feels more
like my response to the "rule" that we shouldn't talk about our
Constellations. And so I'm left wondering about the evidence for that
restriction. Or if perhaps I have been misinterpreting, in which case,
perhaps I'm not the only one?
HERE ARE MY QUESTIONS / thoughts:
1. We acknowledge that our day-to-day, personal consciousness is not the main
driver of our lives. Constellations clearly reveal that aspects of our deeper
systemic consciousness manifest through _symptoms_ in our personal
consciousness but are usually not seen for what they are in terms of
ancestral roots of trauma, etc. AND even if we do have a sense of their
ancestral roots, talking about it doesn't seem to resolve it. This is shown
by the experience of very slow process of talk therapy, vs. the much shorter
and incredibly effective Constellation healing. So one might say in this
case: talking has very little effect on the larger field.
The one place talk therapy is recognized as effective, though, is when the
talk hits on the deeper roots of an issue. Then we can feel in our bodies, as
in the Focusing work of Eugene Gendlin, that something has resonated and
moved.
2. I also have started engaging in dream work, especially the practice of
"Lightning Dream Work" described by Robert Moss. In this process, once the
dream is presented to a group, participants respond to it with the statement
"If this were my dream..." and they give their thoughts as if it were
LITERALLY their dream. It's quite a special process, as it reveals multiple
facets of what's in the larger field of that dream. The dreamer can then take
what's relevant to them, and is often shown new things they had never
considered. That information, provided not just through the experiencing of
the dream but also through the elucidation of the dream using words, is quite
valuable. Again, it feels like it has the effect of moving something resonant
from the wordless Field into our personal consciousness, which can be very
healing.
The "If this were my dream" has started moving into my Constellation work,
and now when I experience a Constellation that is not mine, there are times
when I talk about it using that language, especially if the seeker is
confused by the Constellation.
Silence vs. Words -
3. On the other hand, there is a clear place for silence. The profound,
sacred beauty of a Constellation often creates its own silence, naturally.
It's a silence that emerges from the movement in the Field. You can also feel
how, if you try to tell someone of the experience, there's a way it can feel
like profanity, as in irreverence or desecration. That contrast between
silence and words makes sense to me in the context of Constellation work.
4. Finally, there is the way I have interpreted / misinterpreted the idea
"don't talk about your constellation" - this is where the superstition part
comes in. I have had the idea (where did it come from?) that talking about
your constellation in the wrong way can somehow undo the healing of the
Constellation. I am noticing that I feel that in my body as an actual fear.
Is that idea in the larger field? Where did it come from? Is it true? Is
there evidence for such a thing.
My thoughts right now are that I have direct experience that shows me that 1,
2, and 3 are true, and my conclusions are that talk can get in the way of the
"sacred silence" that emerges from a powerful Constellation, but not the
healing movement itself.
Alison Fornés
It is the courageous heart that loves. It is the loving heart that heals.
<http://alisonfornes.com> alisonfornes.com
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