So for those who don't follow the "don't talk about it" rule, how are the
results? Is there correlation between those who are eager to discuss their
constellation and those whose constellation seems to not resolve their
issue?
As a matter of another principle, I wonder if clients really really can
decide for themselves when to discuss and when not, as Katia del Rivero
Vargas wrote. If even we don't know for sure what effects such discussion
has for them, I wonder about the ethics of allowing the client to decide
without sufficient understanding.
best regards
Heiki Eesmaa
On Fri, Aug 1, 2014 at 4:56 AM, Julio Príncipe principejulio@xxxxxxxxx
[ConstellationTalk] <ConstellationTalk@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx> wrote:
Thanks Katia, I agree with you and reading your post, clarifies the
process to me.
When I shared in this post I felt a little bit weird, because I let
clients talk -specially in organizational process. (I just shared how do I
explain the "not-to-talk-rule")
Still learning and happy for that,
Julio
2014-07-31 17:08 GMT-05:00 'Katia del Rivero Vargas'
katia@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx [ConstellationTalk] <
ConstellationTalk@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx>:
In our trainings we don't follow the "rule".
I learned with the clients that many of them need something different:
Some of them need to talk, is their way to integrate the work.
Some of them need to hear, is their way to integrate the work.
Some of them need to be in silence, is their way to integrate the work.
Then we ask them... ¿What do you need? ¿It is ok if we process the
experience with the rest of the group and you stay? ¿Or you prefer to go
and maintain the experience? ¿What you need, ask your heart?
Usually, they really know what they need. Some of them prefer to go,
other to stay the whole reflection, other only part.
In my own perspective, to respect and trust that the clients have their
own way to integrate and follow this way is the best option.
Katia del Rivero Vargas
Visión Sistémica
Directora General
Oficina (52 55) 5544 8799 / Celular (044 55) 5454 5438
<mailto:kdelrivero@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx> katia@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx /
skype: kdelrivero
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De: ConstellationTalk@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx [mailto:
ConstellationTalk@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx]
Enviado el: miércoles, 30 de julio de 2014 04:28 a.m.
Para: ConstellationTalk@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Asunto: [ConstellationTalk] Talking about your Constellation:
Superstition?
Hi All,
(Note - SKIP TO "Here are my questions" if you just want to skim this
email.)
I am recently returned from the 7th North American Systemic
Constellations Intensive, which I had the privilege of directing this year.
I feel the expansiveness in my heart as I think about it! It was wonderful.
Thanks to the faculty: Francesca Mason Boring, Dan Booth Cohen, Ed Lynch
and Bill Mannle! And to all who attended and co-created such a beautiful,
sacred space.
My wondering comes out of a Constellation I asked for in my group on the
last day. It was not a personal Constellation in the usual sense, and it
wasn't clearly resolved because we didn't have time.
A few people from that group have reached out to me, and I noticed my
hesitance in talking about it too much. However, the hesitance feels more
like my response to the "rule" that we shouldn't talk about our
Constellations. And so I'm left wondering about the evidence for that
restriction. Or if perhaps I have been misinterpreting, in which case,
perhaps I'm not the only one?
HERE ARE MY QUESTIONS / thoughts:
1. We acknowledge that our day-to-day, personal consciousness is not the
main driver of our lives. Constellations clearly reveal that aspects of our
deeper systemic consciousness manifest through _symptoms_ in our personal
consciousness but are usually not seen for what they are in terms of
ancestral roots of trauma, etc. AND even if we do have a sense of their
ancestral roots, talking about it doesn't seem to resolve it. This is shown
by the experience of very slow process of talk therapy, vs. the much
shorter and incredibly effective Constellation healing. So one might say in
this case: talking has very little effect on the larger field.
The one place talk therapy is recognized as effective, though, is when
the talk hits on the deeper roots of an issue. Then we can feel in our
bodies, as in the Focusing work of Eugene Gendlin, that something has
resonated and moved.
2. I also have started engaging in dream work, especially the practice of
"Lightning Dream Work" described by Robert Moss. In this process, once the
dream is presented to a group, participants respond to it with the
statement "If this were my dream..." and they give their thoughts as if it
were LITERALLY their dream. It's quite a special process, as it reveals
multiple facets of what's in the larger field of that dream. The dreamer
can then take what's relevant to them, and is often shown new things they
had never considered. That information, provided not just through the
experiencing of the dream but also through the elucidation of the dream
using words, is quite valuable. Again, it feels like it has the effect of
moving something resonant from the wordless Field into our personal
consciousness, which can be very healing.
The "If this were my dream" has started moving into my Constellation
work, and now when I experience a Constellation that is not mine, there are
times when I talk about it using that language, especially if the seeker is
confused by the Constellation.
Silence vs. Words -
3. On the other hand, there is a clear place for silence. The profound,
sacred beauty of a Constellation often creates its own silence, naturally.
It's a silence that emerges from the movement in the Field. You can also
feel how, if you try to tell someone of the experience, there's a way it
can feel like profanity, as in irreverence or desecration. That contrast
between silence and words makes sense to me in the context of Constellation
work.
4. Finally, there is the way I have interpreted / misinterpreted the idea
"don't talk about your constellation" - this is where the superstition part
comes in. I have had the idea (where did it come from?) that talking about
your constellation in the wrong way can somehow undo the healing of the
Constellation. I am noticing that I feel that in my body as an actual fear.
Is that idea in the larger field? Where did it come from? Is it true? Is
there evidence for such a thing.
My thoughts right now are that I have direct experience that shows me
that 1, 2, and 3 are true, and my conclusions are that talk can get in the
way of the "sacred silence" that emerges from a powerful Constellation, but
not the healing movement itself.
Alison Fornés
It is the courageous heart that loves. It is the loving heart that heals.
<http://alisonfornes.com> alisonfornes.com
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