In our trainings we don’t follow the “rule”.
I learned with the clients that many of them need something different:
Some of them need to talk, is their way to integrate the work.
Some of them need to hear, is their way to integrate the work.
Some of them need to be in silence, is their way to integrate the work.
Then we ask them… ¿What do you need? ¿It is ok if we process the experience
with the rest of the group and you stay? ¿Or you prefer to go and maintain the
experience? ¿What you need, ask your heart?
Usually, they really know what they need. Some of them prefer to go, other to
stay the whole reflection, other only part.
In my own perspective, to respect and trust that the clients have their own way
to integrate and follow this way is the best option.
Katia del Rivero Vargas
Visión Sistémica
Directora General
Oficina (52 55) 5544 8799 / Celular (044 55) 5454 5438
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kdelrivero
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De: ConstellationTalk@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
[mailto:ConstellationTalk@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx] ;
Enviado el: miércoles, 30 de julio de 2014 04:28 a.m.
Para: ConstellationTalk@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Asunto: [ConstellationTalk] Talking about your Constellation: Superstition?
Hi All,
(Note - SKIP TO "Here are my questions" if you just want to skim this email.)
I am recently returned from the 7th North American Systemic Constellations
Intensive, which I had the privilege of directing this year. I feel the
expansiveness in my heart as I think about it! It was wonderful. Thanks to the
faculty: Francesca Mason Boring, Dan Booth Cohen, Ed Lynch and Bill Mannle! And
to all who attended and co-created such a beautiful, sacred space.
My wondering comes out of a Constellation I asked for in my group on the last
day. It was not a personal Constellation in the usual sense, and it wasn't
clearly resolved because we didn't have time.
A few people from that group have reached out to me, and I noticed my hesitance
in talking about it too much. However, the hesitance feels more like my
response to the "rule" that we shouldn't talk about our Constellations. And so
I'm left wondering about the evidence for that restriction. Or if perhaps I
have been misinterpreting, in which case, perhaps I'm not the only one?
HERE ARE MY QUESTIONS / thoughts:
1. We acknowledge that our day-to-day, personal consciousness is not the main
driver of our lives. Constellations clearly reveal that aspects of our deeper
systemic consciousness manifest through _symptoms_ in our personal
consciousness but are usually not seen for what they are in terms of ancestral
roots of trauma, etc. AND even if we do have a sense of their ancestral roots,
talking about it doesn't seem to resolve it. This is shown by the experience of
very slow process of talk therapy, vs. the much shorter and incredibly
effective Constellation healing. So one might say in this case: talking has
very little effect on the larger field.
The one place talk therapy is recognized as effective, though, is when the talk
hits on the deeper roots of an issue. Then we can feel in our bodies, as in the
Focusing work of Eugene Gendlin, that something has resonated and moved.
2. I also have started engaging in dream work, especially the practice of
"Lightning Dream Work" described by Robert Moss. In this process, once the
dream is presented to a group, participants respond to it with the statement
"If this were my dream..." and they give their thoughts as if it were LITERALLY
their dream. It's quite a special process, as it reveals multiple facets of
what's in the larger field of that dream. The dreamer can then take what's
relevant to them, and is often shown new things they had never considered. That
information, provided not just through the experiencing of the dream but also
through the elucidation of the dream using words, is quite valuable. Again, it
feels like it has the effect of moving something resonant from the wordless
Field into our personal consciousness, which can be very healing.
The "If this were my dream" has started moving into my Constellation work, and
now when I experience a Constellation that is not mine, there are times when I
talk about it using that language, especially if the seeker is confused by the
Constellation.
Silence vs. Words -
3. On the other hand, there is a clear place for silence. The profound, sacred
beauty of a Constellation often creates its own silence, naturally. It's a
silence that emerges from the movement in the Field. You can also feel how, if
you try to tell someone of the experience, there's a way it can feel like
profanity, as in irreverence or desecration. That contrast between silence and
words makes sense to me in the context of Constellation work.
4. Finally, there is the way I have interpreted / misinterpreted the idea
"don't talk about your constellation" - this is where the superstition part
comes in. I have had the idea (where did it come from?) that talking about your
constellation in the wrong way can somehow undo the healing of the
Constellation. I am noticing that I feel that in my body as an actual fear. Is
that idea in the larger field? Where did it come from? Is it true? Is there
evidence for such a thing.
My thoughts right now are that I have direct experience that shows me that 1,
2, and 3 are true, and my conclusions are that talk can get in the way of the
"sacred silence" that emerges from a powerful Constellation, but not the
healing movement itself.
Alison Fornés
It is the courageous heart that loves. It is the loving heart that heals.
<http://alisonfornes.com> alisonfornes.com
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